


making lemonade

by madhoney



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Discussion of Abortion, Domestic Bliss, Everyone Gets Redeemed, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fuckbuddies, Getting Together, JohnJae-centric, Kid Fic, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, More ships to be added, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, NCT 127 Ensemble - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, WayV Ensemble - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23353789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madhoney/pseuds/madhoney
Summary: On paper, Johnny was everything you'd want in a man. And being with him was a pretty damn good simulation of a healthy, fulfilling, adult relationship – but one that Jaehyun could easily dip in and out of because there were literally none of the annoying strings that inevitably came with that.Okay, well, maybe a regrettable string or two was attached.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 368
Kudos: 804





	1. good old-fashioned lover boy

**Author's Note:**

> alright sooo i never thought i would be writing mpreg but here we are 🤪 this will be an ensemble fic so there will be a lot more ships introduced in the coming chapters so stay tuned~
> 
> thank you to blue 💙 (twt @silkysuh / ao3 loeylane) for always supporting me in everything and listening to my chaotic rambles. ilysm! 💙
> 
> enjoy! 💕

There was just something about Johnny. Jaehyun didn’t know what it was, but there was something about the tall, broad-shouldered man with honey skin, tight buns, and a dick that just won’t quit that had Jaehyun going back again and again.

Actually, when he thought about it like that, Jaehyun felt like it was pretty obvious. But still, it’s not like Johnny was the first beefy Grindr hook-up he’s ever had – nor was he the second, or the third, or the seventh, or even the tenth.

He was, however, the first ever that Jaehyun didn’t immediately delete from both his phone and his memory before the night was over.

Jaehyun didn’t think about why that was whenever he found himself driving halfway across town at nearly midnight. He resolved not to examine it when his knees were grinding into Johnny’s mattress, face shoved into a couple of fluffy pillows with big paws gripping roughly against his waist from behind. He decided against pondering it when his ass was stuffed so full that he could barely string together a coherent thought anyway. And he _definitely_ chose not to analyze it when he had juicy lips sinking down around his cock over and over to finish him off for the second or third time in one night.

But the little nagging thought would creep up once they were done with their shenanigans. This time was no different.

Like clockwork, Johnny collapsed against Jaehyun, draping his sweaty body around him with a dumb smile on his flushed face.

“We’re so good at that,” Johnny said breathlessly, stretching his long legs out against the bed. “Fuck, why are we so good at that?”

In his defense, it was, in fact, seriously good – amazing, even – especially tonight, because Johnny ran out of condoms, and Jaehyun had always been particularly fond of getting pumped and filled like a fresh jam doughnut.

So he had no words, and could only chuckle goofily when Johnny kissed the underside of his jaw and his shoulder before nuzzling against a body that was still positively burning. 

It was kind of cute, the way Johnny would snuggle up after. Sure, it was stifling, but in some weird way, it was also comfortable. Maybe too comfortable – which was why Jaehyun couldn’t help but shimmy his way out from beneath him after about five minutes.

“You know, you _could_ stay over if you wanted,” Johnny offered. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched Jaehyun stumble into his pants now that his knees were reduced to fine jelly. “There’s plenty of room in the bed. And we could, I don’t know, maybe get breakfast in the morning…”

Jaehyun huffed out a laugh over his shoulder while he buttoned up his jeans. He squinted around the dark room for his t-shirt and found it, impressively, hanging off the corner of the dresser. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to repeat that feat again.

“Uh, nah, it’s good. I should probably get home,” he said dismissively, pulling the flimsy cotton over his head. “I have a thing in the morning.”

“Right, yeah, no, that’s cool,” Johnny hummed casually. If he was bothered, it didn’t show – or at least Jaehyun specifically overlooked it. 

When Jaehyun turned around, Johnny had pulled the pillow to his chest, blinking sleepily. Maybe he didn’t have the best read on emotions (or, again, perhaps he was being purposefully obtuse), but Jaehyun thought he could see the hint of a pout on his still-pink lips.

Johnny was cute – annoyingly cute for somebody with a body as _stupid_ as his was. But that’s not necessarily what Jaehyun signed up for in all of this. They both knew what this was.

He grabbed his jean jacket off the floor and leaned over toward the elder. 

“Hey. It sounds nice,” he mumbled, pecking Johnny’s lips. “But uh— Maybe another time, hm?”

Jaehyun made a great effort to seem relaxed and not at all nervous that the very delicate balance of this arrangement might be starting to fall through.

”Yeah, for sure. Another time,” Johnny sighed. He stretched his tight limbs out again before pushing himself up. “Hey, you have like, Plan B, right? I can get you some, I don’t m—”

“I have some at home, don’t worry,” Jaehyun laughed nervously, and the other nodded as he watched him smile and turn on his heels.

“Get home safe!” Johnny called after him, but he was already halfway to the front door.

Jaehyun literally jogged to the door to show himself out – he knew this apartment pretty well at this point. Once he was over the threshold, he let out a huge exhale and ran a hand through his hair. 

He liked getting fucked by Johnny. No, he _loved_ getting fucked by Johnny. The last few months have been absolute bliss thanks to their arrangement. 

Frankly, adult life sucked. Dating was difficult and complicated and usually pretty messy. But this? This was _ideal_. A sweet release every so often to clear his head and clear his balls – and with Johnny, it was guaranteed to be an efficient and successful lay every time.

Which is why he was so keen to keep everything exactly as it is. 

When he got home that night, he was exhausted. Frankly, he was surprised he didn’t fall asleep on the drive home after the way he was so expertly boned tonight.

He jumped into the bath for a quick shower before diving under the covers and into the sweet comfort of his own bed at around 2:30 am. It was a little too cold. And for one, teeny tiny split-second, just before he completely conked out, he wondered what it would’ve been like to have a pair of big, strong arms wrapped around him.

///

“I kind of can’t believe you texted your booty call halfway through our dinner,” Taeyong huffed. He picked up a bag of Takis, grimaced, and dropped them back on the shelf.

“You say ‘our dinner’ like what we were doing wasn’t just wolfing shitty nachos at the bar,” Jaehyun said, rolling his eyes as he strolled down the aisle of the drugstore.

“Yeah, but still…” 

Jaehyun could hear the annoyingly obvious, childish pout in his voice and he threw a look over his shoulder.

“Would you get it together? I need this,” Jaehyun bit. “And I need condoms – which is the only reason we’re here. So why did you get a basket?”

Taeyong yanked a can of pizza-flavored Pringles off the shelf and pointedly dropped them in the blue basket swinging from the crook of his elbow.

“I plan on burying my abandonment with lots and lots of snacks tonight.”

Jaehyun sighed. Whatever. He couldn’t deal with his friend right now. His hormones were in a tizzy and he had a one-track mind. He scanned the small convenience store with his laser-beam eyes, looking desperately for the prophylactics.

“Ah! There.” He darted down the aisle, and crossed toward the pharmacy counter. “Shit, what’s Johnny’s brand? He has very good taste…”

“‘What’s Johnny’s brand? He has very good taste,’” Taeyong mocked in a squeaky voice as he trudged toward him having followed begrudgingly in Jaehyun’s wake. “Johnny, Johnny, Johnny… He’s all you talk about these days. What, are you in love with him or something?” 

“First of all, how fucking dare you?” Jaehyun scoffed loudly. Thankfully, the only other people in the store were a couple of delinquents loitering in the candy aisle. “You know I don’t do that. Second of all, you’re just jealous that I have access to consistent, _exceptional_ dick and you do not.”

Chronically single, lonesome, and whiny thanks to the unfortunate reality of his sun in Cancer, Taeyong sighed bitterly in defeat. “Whatever. It won’t last forever, you know.”

Jaehyun bent over to squint at the lower row of boxes.

“I don’t know, man. Somehow, it just keeps getting better,” he said, his own cock already twitching in his jeans at the thought. “Like, last weekend— _Fuck_ , oh my god. Taeyong, he rawed me so good, I swear I traveled into the next dimension. I felt like a fucking cream puff and it was—”

Jaehyun snapped upright.

“Fucking _fuck_.”

Taeyong cocked an eyebrow. “Okay, you’re hitting the f-bombs super hard today, Jae. And barebacking? With your dick appointment? I feel like we need to have a talk about your impulse control.”

Jaehyun held up his hand. He couldn’t listen to Taeyong’s voice anymore. It was like bass-boosted white noise right now and his immediate thoughts were already racing and muddled enough.

“I think I did something bad,” he mumbled distantly. “I think I fucked up.”

He grabbed a box that looked similar to the one he’d seen at Johnny’s apartment and hurried his very confused friend through the checkout with his half a dozen packages of sodium and processed sugar before flying down the road in his Jeep to their shared place. 

Jaehyun had to empty out nearly half of his cluttered medicine cabinet before finding the little purple box he was looking for. He cracked open the pill packet and swallowed it bone dry before turning over the package in his hands.

“‘Take within 72 hours of unprotected sex,’” he read, the damning words washing over him. “Whoops…”

“Whoops,” Taeyong echoed, appearing in the doorway and shoving a handful of Cheddar Jalapeño Cheetos into his gigantic mouth.

Jaehyun kicked the door closed in his face, which incited an angry yelp from his roommate. He took a deep breath and shook his head to clear his thoughts.

“Okay. I’m only a couple of days late,” he said calmly. “I’m sure it’s fine. These pills are packed with chemicals or hormones or whatever. I’ll be fine. It’s fine. I won’t get pregnant at 26-years-old. I won’t. The universe _definitely_ wouldn’t let that happen to me. That’s crazy. It’s ludicrous. I’m cool. Everything’s fine.”

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he whipped it out. A new text from Johnny had heat simmering in the pit of his stomach. Like the flip of a switch, he was getting worked up just thinking about his impending pounding.

Jaehyun pulled the bathroom door open again, and Taeyong nearly tumbled to the floor from the way he was leaning on it.

“Nice pep talk,” Taeyong smirked. “Hey, so when you get knocked up, can I be the godfather?”

Naturally, Taeyong began a poor impression of Marlon Brando from ‘The Godfather’ which Jaehyun found entirely unfunny at this moment. He curled his fist and wound his arm back for a punch, making his best friend flinch so suddenly and so violently he thought Taeyong might actually pee his pants. Jaehyun pulled back, chuckled and pushed past him.

Taeyong stuck his tongue out.

“Have fun,” Taeyong called after him. “Try not to get knocked up again!”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes as he grabbed his car keys again and made his way to leave again. “Try not to jerk off so hard you pass out again!”

He slammed the door to the sound of Taeyong’s enthusiastic and colorful retort, snickering to himself all the way to the car.

\\\\\

Johnny followed the knocking and picked up a hustle as he jogged to his front door. He pulled the heavy door open to reveal Jaehyun on the other side, a shopping bag hanging from his arm and leaning against the doorjamb in a way that the younger definitely thought looked cool and casual.

“Hey there, lover boy.”

“Ooh, old school,” Johnny laughed. “An interesting choice.”

He opened his arm and Jaehyun slotted straight into place against his body. He pushed the door closed behind him and rested his hand into the dip in the small of the younger’s back.

Jaehyun tilted his head and caught Johnny’s soft lips. He loved the feeling of being pressed right up against Johnny’s big, strong figure. It almost made him feel petite, and something about that was a big turn-on for him.

“Hi,” he whispered, resting his arm over the elder’s shoulder. 

“Hi,” Johnny smiled back. “Thanks for coming.”

Jaehyun cocked a playful eyebrow. “You say that like I didn’t basically invite myself over.”

“Still,” Johnny giggled when Jaehyun’s lips suddenly tickled the sensitive skin of his neck. “I always like when I get to see you.”

Jaehyun moaned, pressing his lips to Johnny’s again before trailing kisses along his jaw and down his neck, following the fluffy, floral scent of what he assumed was probably some kind of fabric softener from his cozy brown cardigan.

Johnny was only a couple of years older, but god, he was just so hot and _mature_. He had a real career, he had his own place, and his fridge was stocked with more than just light beer, hot sauce, and old pickles. 

And he was nice. _Polite_. His smile was always kind and genuine. Even in bed, he was always generous and surprisingly receptive to Jaehyun’s feedback. 

On paper, Johnny was everything you'd want in a man. And being with him was a pretty damn good simulation of a healthy, fulfilling, adult relationship – but one that Jaehyun could easily dip in and out of because there were literally none of the annoying strings that inevitably came with that.

Okay, well, maybe a regrettable string or two was attached. And Jaehyun’s throat tightened at the affection that sometimes crept into the elder’s voice when he spoke to him. But another part of him – a much less controllable part further down south – really had a mind of its own.

They didn’t make it to the bedroom. They didn’t even make it out of the entryway of the apartment before the younger was on his knees, slurping Johnny’s cock like his semen contained the elixir of life.

“Thanks for uh, getting condoms, by the way,” Johnny said breathlessly, glancing at the shopping bag that was dropped on the table nearby. “Although, I guess you are— _Ah!_ You’re the only reason I, uh… I go through them so quickly, ha…”

Jaehyun sat back on his heels and took Johnny’s cock in his hand.

“What do you mean?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he continued to pull him off.

Johnny huffed out a laugh, bringing his hand down to Jaehyun’s chin and swiping his thumb over his slick, red lip.

“I mean you’re the only person I’m seeing,” he said. “I’m not sleeping with anyone else. I don’t even really _want_ to sleep with anyone else. I just can’t get you out of my head, Jae.”

Something about that boost to his ego had Jaehyun’s jaw unhinging and he sunk his mouth around his dick again, taking him all the way to the back of his throat. 

Johnny curled his fingers tightly into Jaehyun’s hair. He knew how much the younger liked when he rolled his hips forward – liked having his mouth fucked like he was just a dumb little sextoy. He was more than happy to give him what he wanted until cum was spilling down Jaehyun’s throat in thick gushes. Jaehyun groaned, swallowing it down as Johnny slowly pulled out.

The elder helped him to his feet, kissing Jaehyun’s red, overworked lips and then his flushed pink cheek.

“What about you?” Johnny asked quietly, wrapping his arms around him to hold him steady. “I mean, we never talked about it and I have no expectations, but I guess I’m just curious to know where I stand.”

Jaehyun was always impressed by how upfront and clear Johnny was – no ambiguous bullshit to try to weed through. He appreciated it, but it also kind of scared the hell out of him. 

“You’re the only one I’m fucking, too,” he mumbled. 

Johnny sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes hooded as he stared at him hungrily.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he breathed. “No one else is hitting this ass but _me_.”

He hooked his big hand around Jaehyun’s thigh and hiked it up around his waist until the younger followed suit with the other leg. He carried him to the bedroom with remarkable dexterity and grace, considering Jaehyun was literally suckered onto his face.

Johnny threw him on the bed before pouncing, and Jaehyun was rock hard and straining painfully against his jeans. 

This show of possessiveness was _kwazy_ hot to Jaehyun’s stupid sex brain. On the outside, Johnny was all soft sweaters and cozy hugs and plush pillows _with_ pillowcases – but he could be ferocious between the sheets with the right motivation. 

Jaehyun couldn’t get enough, especially when he was stripped down and folded in half with his knees practically pinned next to his ears and Johnny kissing and biting around his collarbone.

“Say it again,” Johnny demanded, rocking against his pelvis at a torturous pace.

“Say what?”

Johnny’s breath was like fire on his skin. “That I’m the only one.”

“You’re the only one,” Jaehyun moaned. “You’re the only one, _fuck_ — Please, Johnny, gimme more. No one fucks me like you do.”

He had literally no qualms with sounding needy and pathetic – not when it only seemed to spur the elder on further. Besides, it was true.

Johnny growled against his ear and plowed into his ass even harder, hitting that sweet spot inside him so expertly that Jaehyun’s back was arching up off the mattress.

“Oh, Johnny!” Jaehyun yelped, digging his nails into his back. “Oh, _fuck!_ ”

Suddenly a hand wiggled between their bodies and was wrapped around Jaehyun’s leaking cock until he sprayed their chests with semen. Jaehyun’s senses went fuzzy, so he barely registered when Johnny pulled out of his ass and peeled off the condom. But he definitely came back to his senses in time to feel the warm streaks of even more cum landing on his abdomen. 

Johnny leaned back, carefully unfolding Jaehyun’s legs and letting him stretch out again while he recovered.

“That was very fun,” Johnny giggled, marveling at the mess covering Jaehyun’s long torso. “Jesus, I don’t know what it is about you, but you just make me bust like _crazy_ , Jae.”

Jaehyun laughed, already reaching for the box of tissues on the nightstand as Johnny settled into the mattress beside him, just like always. Johnny was right. It was kind of an insane amount and it would no doubt leave Jaehyun sticky and uncomfortable until he was able to get home and hop in the bath – so he figured he better hurry and wrap this up.

But Johnny grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“Hey, just… Stay and take a shower with me,” he said quietly, a far cry from the demanding voice from just a few minutes ago. “You’ll feel a lot better.”

Jaehyun chewed his lip. Staying for any length of time post-nut was not really his thing. 

“Come on,” Johnny whispered. He playfully took Jaehyun’s earlobe between his teeth, flicking his tongue against it. With gentle fingertips, he tilted Jaehyun’s face toward him and caught his lips. “It'll be nice.”

Jaehyun’s eyes fluttered closed.

“Fine,” he conceded. “But just a quick one.”

The elder wasted no time dragging him out of the bed and into his tidy bathroom. The tiles were cold underfoot, as was whatever stone the countertops were made of that were pressed up to Jaehyun’s ass – but at least Johnny’s body was still fiery hot as he caged him against the surface.

Johnny was a big kisser, especially after sex. Jaehyun had learned that quickly, which is why he usually made it a point to scoot on out of there before he could plant one on him with those juicy, rose-balmed lips – because Jaehyun was all too aware of just how little willpower he had against such charms.

But this was nice – really _really_ nice, being wrapped up in big arms and lazily making out like there wasn’t a care in the world. Jaehyun supposed he never fully had the chance to appreciate kissing Johnny like this. Usually, their kisses were rough and aggressive, used as filler before they got down to business. This was different, and Jaehyun was totally lost in sauce.

Sadly, they eventually had to stop long enough to jump into the shower.

Usually it only took Jaehyun a grand total of two minutes to suds himself up before he decided he was pretty clean, but Johnny had insisted on taking control and it was pure luxury. Jaehyun had never really pampered himself (unless you count that week he splurged on UberBlack rides while his car was in the shop) and no one had ever really pampered him either. 

But having Johnny’s soapy hands all over him, slowly lathering cucumber-scented body wash against his messy tummy while he peppered kisses against his shoulders had all the blood in Jaehyun’s body rushing straight back into his dick – along with every last brain cell that would’ve been otherwise freaking out at the burgeoning feelings of intimacy. 

Of course, Johnny noticed, relishing in the opportunity to make Jaehyun cum again as he wrapped his fingers around his length. Jaehyun’s knees were already weak and wobbly, but Johnny held him securely, whispering all sorts of endearing filth in his ear about how pretty he looked and how much he enjoyed making him feel good.

It made Jaehyun absolutely sick the way he had butterflies taking flight in his stomach. When this was done, the very second after he blew his wad, he knew he was going to feel absolutely miserable about that fact. 

And he was right. After spilling everything out over Johnny’s fingers, the horrible sinking feeling of _feeling_ had taken root.

“That was nice,” Johnny cooed, the sweetness in his voice like tendrils coiling all over Jaehyun’s body.

“Yeah,” he breathed tightly. “But I really have to get going now.”

It took all of his self-control but he slipped himself out of Johnny’s comfortable and familiar hold and hopped out of the shower. He grabbed the first towel he saw – disregarding whose it was and whether or not it was available to him – and wrapped it around himself.

The water cut off and Johnny dragged the shower curtain to the side.

“That’s a shame,” Johnny sighed. “I was kinda hoping we could fool around some more and then maybe order food and cuddle up on the couch. I just got this massive chenille blanket, so—”

“Ah, not tonight. I’m not feeling great,” Jaehyun said, albeit unconvincingly. “Maybe we could rain check?”

Johnny clicked his tongue. He might’ve been sweet but that didn’t make him a fool. He stepped out of the tub and sighed as he pulled a new towel around his waist.

“Ah. Maybe one of these days, I’ll wear down that resolve of yours," Johnny hummed. "I mean, this is great, but who knows? We might actually have a nice time together with all our clothes on..."

Jaehyun grew tense. He did not like the subtle disappointment in his voice, nor the way it had him feeling particularly shitty. 

He didn’t know what to say, so instead he cleared his throat and strolled out back to the bedroom for his clothes. “I’m sure we w— _Oof_.” 

Jaehyun paused in the middle of looking for his top and clutched at his gut after a dull surge of pain rippled through his lower abdomen.

“Jae, I get it,” the elder sighed. “You want to go home. It’s fine. You don’t have to put on a show.”

More pain throbbed in Jaehyun’s stomach and he hunched forward. 

“No, I’m not faking, honestly,” he mumbled, shaking his head. 

“Hey,” Johnny said softly. He instantly shifted to genuine concern as he stepped closer and ducked his head to catch Jaehyun’s eyes. “You okay?”

They were so warm and tender that Jaehyun’s heart nearly lodged up into his throat. And just like that, the pain faded.

“Uh… Yeah,” the younger said tentatively after a few moments. “I think...I’m okay...”

Johnny cocked an eyebrow as he held out Jaehyun’s t-shirt to him. “What was that about?” 

“Just a little discomfort, that’s all,” Jaehyun dismissed, shrugging. “Probably just something I ate. The nachos at my bar are famously hit-or-miss, so....”

“Ah,” Johnny said, nodding. “Well, if you’re about to get gassy, then you are _definitely_ free to leave.”

Jaehyun turned to see the teasing smirk that was plastered on his face. He shoved at his damp shoulder playfully until Johnny lassoed him up in his arms and caught him by the lips, instantly rendering him still.

“I’ll see you again soon?” Johnny asked quietly, hopefully.

But he didn’t wait for an answer. Johnny simply pecked his nose – a gesture so sweet it had the tips of Jaehyun’s ears burning – before smacking his ass and sending him on his way.

By the time he was back at home, Jaehyun had done everything in his power to shake loose the thoughts clouding his brain.

He didn’t like how he felt after having just a taste of what domestic bliss with Johnny would be like. He certainly didn’t like how good it felt. On the flip side, at least the dull pain in his stomach returned and gave him something else to focus on. 

He popped a couple of antacids and crawled into bed, hoping his feelings – both emotional and physical – dissipated by the morning.

~


	2. the april fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong eyed the pregnancy tests that Jaehyun had just set on the table. He dropped the clump of noodles he was about to shovel into his face back into his cup of ramen. “Is this your idea of a really bad April Fool’s gag? Because that was like, a few days ago, you know.”
> 
> “Believe me, I wish it was,” Jaehyun huffed, shaking his head. “But no. There is only one fool here, and it is me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi back with chapter 2 !! thanks for the all the support on the first chapter, you guys have been awesome and i'm so grateful !!
> 
> please enjoy~ !!! ❤
> 
> ⚠ WARNING - please check updated tags ⚠

Jaehyun lifted the lid of the cocktail garnish container that sat atop the bar and dove his hand into the cup of green olives. He tilted his head back and dropped three into his mouth.

“How many fistfuls of olives am I going to have to watch you shove in your face tonight?” 

Jaehyun turned and looked down the length of the bar. He blinked at Donghyuck as he ground the briny little bastards between his teeth. 

“What?” 

Donghyuck shrugged, polishing up the pint glass in his hand before setting it aside.

“You’ve been popping those manzanillas like Tic-Tacs for the last three hours,” Donghyuck said matter-of-factly. “It’s objectively kind of fascinating but also like, really unsettling to watch.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, before diving his greedy little fingers back in again.

“Then don’t watch me.”

“Believe me, I wish I could stop,” Donghyuck shook his head before leaning his elbow against the counter. propping up his chin to stare at his co-worker with greater intensity. “But it’s like I can’t look away.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes again and threw back two more olives into his mouth. He missed the days when Donghyuck was only at the bar to watch his little boyfriend play his little acoustic guitar at the open mic nights. Now he worked here and was around all the time – or at least that’s what it felt like right now. The younger bartender had a particular knack for dancing on Jaehyun’s nerves when he wasn’t in the mood for it – and at the moment Donghyuck was really approaching Expert Mode.

Honestly, Jaehyun had already been hovering around the end of his fuse anyway. The bar had been pretty busy for the last few weeks thanks to St. Patrick’s Day specials all month. On the one hand, Jaehyun’s bank account was looking stuffed. But on the other hand, he was starting to feel like working five nights a week until nearly 2:00 a.m. was a lot easier at 21-years-old instead of 26. 

It was finally starting to settle down again, but he was tired and pretty moody and really couldn’t stress enough how much he was in no mood for this conversation right now.

“I didn’t know you liked olives so much,” Donghyuck piped up again. “Honestly, I didn’t know  _ anyone  _ liked olives so much.”

“Because they’re good and it’s what I want right now. What, are you doing some kind of undercover inventory inspection on the fucking garnish tray or something?” Jaehyun snapped. “Or are you still salty that you got written up in your first week for literally necking a jar of maraschino cherries.” 

Donghyuck snapped himself upright again with unbridled offense.

“No, what’s salty is all those olives and I can tell because you’re bloating out like the GoodYear blimp.”

Donghyuck puffed out his cheeks like an annoying little chipmunk and Jaehyun whipped an olive at him. He really wanted that olive, but it was worth the sacrifice for the other’s shriek.

“I’m not bloated,” Jaehyun bit, but by the end of his sentence, his tone fizzled out into something more like a pout.

Donghyuck hummed unconvincingly. He would’ve loved to say more – he nearly always did – but his boyfriend Mark was poking his head in through the door to pick him up. Donghyuck tossed his towel to the side, ran to the back to get his jacket, and met the other by the entrance. 

Jaehyun watched as Donghyuck pecked Mark’s cheek and took one of the two motorcycle helmets he was carrying before pushing out of the door, all while Mark grinned goofily. It was cute.  _ They _ were cute. Jaehyun hated it. 

But to be fair, he hated a lot of things at the moment. He hated that his energy was sapped. He hated that he hadn’t gotten dicked down in far longer than he cared to admit. And perhaps most importantly, he hated that Donghyuck was, in fact, 100% correct – Jaehyun had been retaining water like a sponge on and off a lot these days. 

He was exhausted, frustrated, and bloated beyond belief. It was probably his #1 least favorite combination of feelings. 

Admittedly, he could’ve fixed at least one of those things. Johnny had texted him a few days ago asking if he wanted to come over, but Jaehyun uncharacteristically declined. The same thing happened a week before that. He was too drained and frankly, he didn’t feel particularly sexy at the moment either. 

Plus, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little afraid to see him again. Johnny was an excellent booty call, but after the taste of intimacy he got the last time they met, Jaehyun suddenly felt like the delicate balance of their situation was starting to falter.

Johnny was nice and fit and respectable. He certainly seemed like the total package, but it’s just not what he was looking for at the moment. He would be great if Jaehyun was ready to finally settle down, but that wouldn’t be until way,  _ way  _ down the line for him – if ever. All he wanted right now was to get his back blown out on a fairly regular basis without the threat of a whole relationship somehow being folded into the mix.

So he was clumsily avoiding the 28-year-old until he was certain he could withstand the potency of Johnny’s charms – or at least until he was so horny that it physically hurt. By his own estimates, he was still probably a week or so out from being in dire straits. And because he had no reason to get naked for someone, he made sure to grab another handful of salty olives before leaving the bar for the night.

Despite all the snacking, he was already hungry again by the time he got home.

He hovered in front of the pantry, eyes narrowed as he scanned the shelves for something quick, easy, and probably terrible for him.

“Are you eating again?” Taeyong called from the couch. This month, he was on morning shifts at the bakery so he was already up for work when Jaehyun came home. 

Jaehyun never minded his odd hours, as his own weren’t exactly normal either. What he  _ did  _ mind, however, was the fact that Taeyong was currently watching the Great British Bake-Off reruns at an ear-splitting volume. It certainly did not help his demeanor.

“Yes, I’m eating again,” he huffed. “Is there a problem with that?”

“Well, I heard you complaining yesterday about how tight your jeans were getting, so…”

“And what about it?” Jaehyun bit. “All of a sudden a guy can’t put on a little water weight every now and again?”

Taeyong rotated himself and turned toward his roommate, his little blonde head peeking over the back of the couch. The way he was being watched made Jaehyun feel like he was a gazelle on some safari show. Or perhaps, more fittingly, a hippopotamus. 

But the shame did not make him any less hungry, especially not when he eyed the jar of onion dip tucked towards the back of the shelf. There were no chips, but he didn’t care, digging it out and grabbing a spoon from the drawer.

“Are you sure it’s  _ just  _ water weight?” Taeyong asked tentatively, grimacing as his friend shoveled a spoonful of creamy goop into his mouth. “You know, when my sister was pregnant, she ate salsa con queso straight from the jar for like, a month…”

Jaehyun snorted before swallowing down the thick, oniony goodness. 

“Are you trying to say I’m pregnant?”

“Are you sure you’re  _ not? _ ”

“I mean, no,” Jaehyun said, the slightest waiver in his voice. “But I’m not pregnant. C’mon, that’s absurd.”

Taeyong cocked an eyebrow. “Why is that absurd?” 

“Because this is real life – not some cheap, made-for-TV movie. No one gets pregnant from having unprotected sex  _ once _ , Taeyong.”

To be honest, he’d almost completely forgotten about that recent little error in judgment until this conversation right now – but he shooed the thought away.

Taeyong pushed himself up further now, folding his hands on top of the back of the couch and resting his chin on top of them. 

“Yeah, but was it just once, though?” He tutted, clicking his tongue. “Or has Jung Jaehyun’s long, lustrous history of close encounters finally caught up with him?”

“Don’t be dramatic. It was two times in college – three,  _ tops _ .”

“It was like, seven,” Taeyong corrected. “Plus, remember when  _ we  _ fu—”

“No,” Jaehyun cut him off. He shivered, remembering that one time he and his friend got a little too bored and a little too curious. “We promised we would never speak of that again.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, but my point still stands,” he said. 

Jaehyun’s eyes narrowed. There was a mischievous glint in the other’s big eyes that had Jaehyun entirely sure that Taeyong was just trying to make him sweat. He put the jar down on the counter and stared pointedly at his roommate across the common area. 

“Do you really,  _ seriously  _ think that I’m knocked up all because I’m a little bloated, I’m eating trash, and I’m somehow ‘statistically’ due for it?” Jaehyun countered. 

Taeyong shrugged and turned around, but not before an irritating smirk tugged at the edge of his lips.

“Well I guess we’ll have to see in nine months’ time.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes before capping the jar and putting his snack in the fridge. He trudged toward his room, stripped off his clothes, and jumped into bed without a second thought. It had been much too long of a night for him and he really just wanted to knock the fuck out for the next 24 hours.

But he couldn’t. He tried, but something kept tugging at his thoughts. The nagging feeling had him up, tossing and turning long enough to hear the door of their apartment shut as Taeyong finally left for work. 

_ Taeyong _ , he thought grumpily, replaying their exchange in his head. He rolled over in bed, blinking up at the ceiling in the dark.  _ There’s no way he could be right. I know he’s just trying to mess with me…  _

It must’ve been around 4:30 in the morning, when the tiny aggravating thought became a veritable demon, gnawing at his brain. He reached for his phone on the nightstand and sunk down further beneath his comforter, as if trying to not exist.

Within seven minutes, he had opened about 13 new tabs, all circling around one topic: pregnancy. In those seven minutes, he had acquired more information than he’d ever wanted to know on the subject. And very quickly, his curiosity got the better of him.

So he threw off the covers and made his way to his friend’s bathroom – because despite all of Taeyong’s teasing, Jaehyun knew his friend had had a few close calls himself in the past.

“He must have something in here…” he mumbled, crouching down to rifle through the cupboard beneath his sink.

Finally, he saw a pink box and he tore it open. With a deep breath, he pulled out the pregnancy test and shimmied out of his boxers.

The waiting was always the worst and those minutes seemed to pass if they were entire centuries.

He paced back and forth, chewing roughly at his thumbnail. He wanted something – anything – to distract his attention, but all he could do was stare directly at the little plastic stick as the seconds ticked away ever so slowly. After a few long minutes, with only a single pink line showing up on the indicator, he was certain he was in the clear. 

He let his head fall back as he exhaled all the air in his body, almost chuckling to himself for being so nervous. But by the time he looked forward again, the test caught his eye. He picked it up, squinting as another pink line began bleeding onto the screen.

“No, no, no,” he whined desperately. “Go away. You weren’t there a second ago. Go back!”

When it refused to listen to his demand, he frowned, tossed it aside and grabbed the second test in the box.

But another ten minutes later, he was staring at two, very clear positive pregnancy tests. 

“Shit.”

\\\\\

“Shit," Taeyong said.

“Shit,” Jaehyun echoed. 

“Fuck.” 

"I know."

Taeyong eyed the pregnancy tests that Jaehyun had just set on the table. He dropped the clump of noodles he was about to shovel into his face back into his cup of ramen. “Is this your idea of a really bad April Fool’s gag? Because that was like, a few days ago, you know.”

“Believe me, I wish it was,” Jaehyun huffed, shaking his head. “But no. There is only one fool here, and it is me.”

Taeyong stared at the tests again, unable to peel his eyes away. When his friend said he was going to stop by his bakery for his lunch break, this is not what he expected. 

He grimaced. “I kind of feel bad now for messing with you earlier.”

“Yeah, you should.”

“Well, I  _ do _ ,” Taeyong reiterated. “So I won’t even say ‘I told you so.’”

“Oh, thanks for sparing me that much,” Jaehyun grumbled before dropping his head down on the questionably clean surface of the breakroom table. 

He groaned and Taeyong patted his shoulder comfortingly. He did genuinely feel sorry for his friend’s predicament. He turned back to the tests that held his unfortunate friend’s fate.

“Huh. I use the same brand,” he noted off-handedly.

“Yeah, they were yours,” Jaehyun mumbled into the table. 

Taeyong shook his head but decided against admonishing him further. Besides, he could always keep that one in the backpocket for another time when he might need a favor.

“God I’m so fucked,” Jaehyun whined. “Help meee.”

Taeyong took a deep breath. _ Okay. Whew. This is the big leagues of friendship, Yong. Your buddy needs you, _ he thought to himself, hoping it might instill even an ounce of confidence in his words. He didn’t have a clue, but he knew his friend was counting on him for some kind of advice so he had to say  _ something _ . 

“First thing’s first, try not to panic,” Taeyong said.

Jaehyun sat up again and blinked at him. “This  _ is  _ me trying not to panic.”

“Perfect. Then you’re doing great so far,” Taeyong said sincerely, but judging by his friend’s face, Jaehyun almost certainly thought he was being sarcastic. “Okay, so you have a few options. First, there’s the kind of obvious one…”

Jaehyun sighed. He knew what Taeyong was alluding to and of course, he already considered it.

“Yeah, abortion was pretty much my first and only thought,” he admitted, picking at a notch in the table. 

“Well, that’s fair,” Taeyong agreed, finally managing to turn his attention to his lunch again just before it started cooling and congealing into a bowl of disappointment. 

Jaehyun tugged his baseball cap off his head, pushed a hand through his hair, and pulled the cap back down again. “I mean, I don’t really see a way around it. Honestly, look at me. I should probably not be bringing a human baby into the world, right?”

Taeyong hummed in understanding. “And have you told the dad yet?”

Jaehyun’s brows knit together, head tilting.

“Sorry, the  _ other  _ dad,” Taeyong clarified. “Obviously.”

Jaehyun slumped back in his chair, rubbing his eyes. He had been too stressed to go back to sleep after the tests, so he was completely shattered on top of everything else. 

“No, of course, not,” he sighed. That was a whole other can of worms he did not want to open. “Why would I bother?”

Johnny seemed like a good man – he didn’t need to be involved in Jaehyun’s mess.

“Hey, at the end of the day, your body, your choice,” Taeyong shrugged, shoveling a massive bite of noodle into his mouth. “But it might give you some perspective, anyway – if you’re looking for it. I mean, that thing in there is kind of like his embassy on your land, so…”

Jaehyun’s face twisted up in a grimace. He did not care for that analogy at all right now. 

“Yeah, that’s still going to be a ‘no’ from me.”

“Suit yourself. Whatever you do, at least you know I got your back, buddy,” Taeyong promised, before mentally patting himself on the back for a job well done on navigating a difficult discussion.

Jaehyun nodded, then stood from his seat. 

“Well, I’m gonna head home and try to sleep, I guess,” he said, making his way to the door. “Thanks, Yong.”

Taeyong swiveled around in his seat.

“Hey, wait, don’t you want a chocolate croissant or something before you go? I can sneak you one if— Damn Jae, at least take your pee sticks with you! Agh…” 

Taeyong hollered after him, but Jaehyun was too distracted, already breezing his way out of the shop.

///

Despite what he said, Jaehyun _did_ in fact think about telling Johnny. He thought about it for the whole drive home from Taeyong’s work. He thought about it while he was searching for abortion clinics. And he thought about it while he was calling to make an appointment at a local facility.

But in the end, he didn’t do it.

He figured Johnny would be better off not knowing – not having to deal with his mistake. And that’s what he told himself all the way up until this moment. But as he was sitting in the clinic waiting room, filling out forms on a plastic clipboard, his resolve began to waiver.

He read the same question about his medical history 14 times before his brain started to ache. He lowered the clipboard and rubbed his forehead.

“You okay?” Taeyong asked quietly by his side.

“It’s fine, um… I’m… I’m fine,” he sighed, shaking his head and blinking at the paper in front of him.

Taeyong was unconvinced.

“You know, apparently, it’s just a pill these days when it’s this early on – which is nice,” Taeyong said, hoping it would settle his friend’s obvious nerves. Jaehyun said nothing in response, so he continued. “It seems pretty low maintenance. In and out. Should be back to normal in a couple of weeks, or whatever. And…”

If he kept talking, his voice was lost to the ringing in Jaehyun’s ears as his mind started to zone out. He kept thinking of Johnny. 

Jaehyun had known a lot of jerks and douchebags in his time. Johnny didn’t seem like any of them. Even if they’d only known each other for a few months and the vast majority of that time was spent screwing each other’s brains out, he felt like Johnny was a good guy – or at least good enough that Jaehyun was starting to feel a pang of guilt about not saying anything at all to him.

Jaehyun always assumed that, hypothetically, he would have no problem dealing with this kind of situation. But now that it was actually happening, he was realizing it was a lot less cut and dry than he thought it would be. He was startlingly aware of all of his emotions and for once, he was powerless to control them. His guilt was starting to give way to doubt, which was now swelling with each passing second. Something about this suddenly didn’t feel right. 

“I don’t think I can do this,” he mumbled.

Taeyong cocked his head. “Huh?”

Jaehyun abruptly rose to his feet, abandoning his paperwork on top of a stack of magazines on the coffee table in front of him. “I can’t do this.”

Taeyong hopped up beside him. “What— Where are you going?”

He grabbed the clipboard and brought it back to the front desk, apologizing hurriedly for his friend before jogging out of the clinic behind him.

“Hey, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, uh… It didn’t feel right,” Jaehyun said, glancing around distractedly as he marched to their car. “And I just had to, um… get out of there.”

He jumped into the driver’s seat of his Jeep and Taeyong climbed in beside him.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun mumbled. It wasn’t a lie. All of his feelings were beginning to melt together into one uncontrollable mess and it was hard to pick out any particular one. He jammed the key into the ignition and fired it up, eyes straight ahead and gripping the steering wheel tightly in his hands. “I think I want to talk to Johnny after all. He seems like a good guy. And… I don’t know, maybe I want him to at least  _ know  _ before I make any decisions…”

He could feel Taeyong’s confused stare boring into the side of his head.

“What?” Jaehyun sighed, already regretting asking.

“Nothing, it’s just… I did not expect pregnancy to give you the gift of a moral compass.”

Jaehyun pursed his lips and put the car in reverse, turning to back out.

“Yeah,” he said curtly. “Me neither.”

\\\\\

Jaehyun wasn’t sure how to hit up his booty call for anything other than sex, so instead, he decided to hold out for Johnny to call him first. And for better or for worse, he didn’t have to wait long. 

Jaehyun’s phone started buzzing in his pocket while he was napping on the couch that same afternoon. Still groggy and snoozing, his first move was to pull it out of his jeans, silence it, and toss it onto the coffee table. But it only rang again, this time vibrating angrily against the wooden surface, refusing to be ignored.

So he cracked an eye open and grabbed it, eyes widening as his eyes clocked the half-dozen eggplant emojis he used for Johnny’s contact name. He sprung forward.

“Hello?” 

_ “Jae! Hey! Ah, I’m glad I caught you,”  _ Johnny said, and Jaehyun could clearly picture his bright smile.  _ “I was almost starting to think you were avoiding me.” _

Johnny chuckled through the phone, and Jaehyun was unsettled by the realization that he kind of missed that cute sound.

He cleared his throat and shook his head. 

“Yeah, no, work’s just been kind of crazy lately…” he said, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes. 

It wasn’t a lie, but he was sure the tension in his voice was somewhat incriminating regardless. Still, Johnny didn’t seem to notice or mind. 

_ “No worries. But I miss you. Come over tonight,” _ Johnny said, straight to the point. The confidence in his voice already had a familiar heat pooling in Jaehyun’s gut.

And then he remembered the  _ other  _ thing in his gut.

“T-tonight?” Jaehyun asked. 

_ “Yeah, tonight,” _ Johnny repeated, snickering.  _ “Maybe 8:00? I’ve got something special for you.” _

Jaehyun huffed out a tight laugh. “Ha. Yeah me, too…” 

_ “Oh? Can’t wait. See you later, Jae.” _

They ended the call and Jaehyun shivered. At this point, his body had developed a Pavlovian response to hearing Johnny’s voice – the imminent occurrence of great sex had his body warm and limber. But that, coupled with his nerves about the conversation they needed to have was creating a strange and uncomfortable mix of feelings that was a little much for his brain at the moment.

He groaned, shook himself loose, and made his way to the shower to get washed up. 

The next few hours seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, and by the time he was driving over to Johnny’s place, Jaehyun still didn’t have a clue how to drop the bombshell on this poor, unsuspecting man. He thought maybe he should put on his best, serious adult impression and break it to him gently with some measure of poise. Another part of him wondered if he should try to get the sex out of the way first since, depending on Johnny’s reaction, it could be his last chance with the best booty call he ever had. 

But he hadn’t settled on one way or the other, all the way up until the moment his knuckles were rapping against Johnny’s front door. He would just have to wing it, for it was in god’s hands now.

The elder answered straight away, whipping the door open with a shining smile on his face. He grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and pulled him inside, immediately spinning him around before bundling him up tightly in his arms.

He took Jaehyun’s chin in his free hand and caught his lips. “Good to see you again.” 

Johnny didn’t give Jaehyun a chance to respond before kissing him again and dragging him further into his apartment. He floated into his kitchen, releasing Jaehyun’s hand as he reached into a cupboard.

“You might be wondering why I’m so chipper,” Johnny began, clutching the stems of two champagne flutes. He set them down atop the small table, where Jaehyun was hovering awkwardly, hands shoved into his pockets. He turned toward his fridge. “Because you, my lovely Jaehyunnie, are looking at the one and only man who could  _ finally  _ sell that 7-figure McMansion that’s sat on my company’s listing for nearly a year.”

He pulled out a chilled bottle of champagne, nails already peeling at the foil seal. Jaehyun gulped.

“So, I thought we could celebrate!” Johnny beamed. “I’m taking you out – no if’s, and’s, or but’s. My treat.”

“Uh, well—”

“After some champagne, of course,” the elder continued. He started twisting off the wire cap. “There’s a new Asian fusion place up the street that is amazing.”

“Oh, I don’t—”

“And then I’m bringing you back here and fucking you so hard that you’ll be walking funny for a week.”

“ _ Johnny _ ,” Jaehyun said firmly, finally loud enough to catch his attention. 

Johnny looked up at him across the kitchen, thumbs working at the cork with his sweet, blissfully ignorant smile still plastered onto his cheeks. “What?”

The pressure built in Jaehyun’s gut like the carbonation in the champagne. His mouth ran dry and his heart felt like it was lodged in his throat. He couldn’t take another second of this.

“I’m pregnant.”

The cork fired off into the ceiling, bubbles dribbling out quietly onto the floor. 

~

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)


	3. sour & sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But you know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” Johnny shrugged. 
> 
> “Yeah, well this is one fucking sour lemon,” Jaehyun pouted.
> 
> “Sure, but it’s _our_ lemon,” Johnny said soothingly, and something in Jaehyun softened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for reading !!! i'm so happy y'all are loving it AHHH! 🥰 
> 
> please enjoy ch. 3 ❤ !!~~

“You’re _what?_ ”

“Pregnant,” Jaehyun admitted again.

Johnny gulped, throat dry and scratchy like he just swallowed a handful of sand. “C-come again?”

 _That’s probably what we should’ve avoided in the first place,_ Jaehyun thought to himself.

“I’m knocked up,” Jaehyun said, hoping a different phrase might help get it through to him.

“Like, with a baby?”

“Yup.”

“And... it’s mine?”

“It’s yours, pal.”

“Whoa…” Johnny breathed, eyes wide and somewhat unfocused as he stared at some distant point, possibly in the next dimension. He blinked, gaze unbroken as a goofy smile tugged up one corner of his mouth. “Holy shit… A baby.”

Jaehyun saw the wobble in the elder’s knees before he reached for the countertop to steady himself. The bottle of champagne in his hand tipped further, sending a stream of it onto the tile beneath their feet. 

It started dripping onto Johnny’s expensive-looking shoes and Jaehyun, feeling guilty, carefully grabbed the bottle from his hand and set it down on the table before peering around for the paper towels.

It took Johnny a few seconds before he shook himself loose and returned to his senses. He nearly gasped as he eyed Jaehyun kneeling against the hardwood and sopping up the bubbly.

“Oh geez, let me handle this, Jae.”

“It’s fi— Oh, okay then.”

Johnny took him by the elbow and hoisted him upright – _almost_ gently – pulling out a chair at the table for him to sit down. Jaehyun gnawed at the inside of his cheek, knee bouncing under the table while he waited for the elder, who settled into the seat across from him a couple minutes later.

“Wow… Well, your surprise certainly trumped mine,” Johnny chuckled, pushing a hand through his hair. “The champagne was a bit of a non-starter, huh?”

“Ha, yeah,” Jaehyun said, trying to return the same laugh but it was utterly hollow. 

The term ‘pregnant pause’ felt a little too on-the-nose as the two dashed fleeting glances at each other from across the table, trying to figure out where the fuck to begin unpacking this situation.

Suddenly Jaehyun couldn’t take it any longer. He didn’t know how to read Johnny’s reaction so he launched forward in his seat, opting to take the offensive.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was late taking the morning after pill. I— I just felt like maybe you’d want to know… But I know I fucked up here and I get it if you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore or whatever, and—”

Johnny’s eyebrows cinched together.

“Hey, whoa, _breathe_ ,” he cut in, voice gentle and comforting, easing the tension that lined Jaehyun’s spine. “First of all, it takes two to tango. You didn’t get here by yourself. We were both a little… irresponsible. So if anything, I should be apologizing, too.”

Jaehyun was rendered speechless by that, so the other continued. “And second of all, I’m… really not mad.”

“You’re not?” Jaehyun gawked. “Like, at all?”

Johnny shook his head. “Of course not. I’m a little shocked, but… I mean, these things happen, right? It’s not like you did this on purpose.”

Jaehyun huffed out a dry laugh and gestured to his stomach. “No, I definitely did not do _this_ on purpose.”

“Exactly. But you know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” Johnny shrugged. 

“Yeah, well this is one fucking sour lemon,” Jaehyun pouted.

“Sure, but it’s _our_ lemon,” Johnny said soothingly, and something in Jaehyun softened. Then his voice lowered to something a little more delicate. “So, how are you feeling about it? What do you think you want to do?”

Jaehyun stared at his fidgeting hands on the tabletop. Before this conversation started, he was quite sure he wanted to throw the lemon out of the window but now, his thoughts were all muddled. 

Maybe he wanted Johnny to be mad – to scold him for being careless or bemoan the mess he was now tangled up in. Even a grumble of disapproval would’ve been welcome. Because at least that kind of reaction would have cemented Jaehyun’s resolve about his original decision. 

But Jaehyun didn’t get any of that from Johnny. In fact, when he glanced up at the elder, Johnny’s warm eyes looked back at him with only concern for Jaehyun, not himself.

His stomach churned. He was so used to a life where he only ever did _exactly_ what he wanted to do, which was usually whatever option was easiest for him, but now – now something was different, like his conscience was stirring after a long period of lying dormant. He didn’t care for it.

But suddenly a large hand fell over his, stilling his fingers that picked roughly at his cuticles. 

“Hey. Whatever you’re thinking, I _will_ support you,” Johnny said softly. “I know we haven’t known each other for that long, but this is my responsibility, too. So I’m here for you, Jae.”

And just like that, Jaehyun was done for. He didn’t know if he was just weak, or if his intensified hormones were transforming into a deadly rip current and sucking him under, but he was powerless to the images of a terrifyingly domestic and cozy future that were suddenly flashing before his eyes.

Worst of all, he couldn’t even say he completely hated the idea… 

Jaehyun retracted his hands, sucked in a sharp breath, and pushed out of his seat.

“I definitely wasn’t thinking of keeping it,” he started, pacing along the hardwood. “I mean, I already started looking at clinics, you know, to see about getting rid of this, um, _lemon_.”

He could see Johnny nod cautiously from the corner of his eye. “Uh huh.”

“Because look at me. _Seriously_. I don’t exactly scream ‘fit for fatherhood,’ do I?” 

“I don’t know about tha—”

“But _you_ ,” Jaehyun continued, chest beginning to tighten. “You’re like a real adult person.”

Johnny’s shoulder raised up slowly, like he was afraid any sudden movements might upset the other further. “Oh, well—”

“I mean, not only would you probably be capable of handling a baby, but god, you might actually even _want_ something like this,” Jaehyun cut him off again. He couldn’t stop now, words falling out of his mouth faster than he had time to vet them. “And now, I must be losing my goddamn mind – because for some reason, I’m looking at you, and I’m considering keeping it! I mean, _what?!_ ”

Tears pinched the backs of his eyes and he cursed the surge of emotions that he had no control over. He didn’t even register the other rising out of his seat until he had arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Jaehyun, you need to relax,” Johnny cooed, his hand tenderly stroking his back.

“How am I supposed to relax when there is a human being growing inside me?” Jaehyun whined, but he was already melting in his hold. 

“Just take a deep breath, alright?” Johnny said gently. “You’re not crazy for not knowing what you want to do right now. These situations are… complicated. We can figure this out together.”

What a mess. Jaehyun couldn’t remember a time when he felt so scared and unsure of himself. Up until now, most decisions in life felt simple, almost inconsequential. But this one had his head spinning.

But he nodded, letting his forehead fall to his shoulder and inhaling, slow and deep. Fuck, he forgot how nice Johnny smelled. 

“Come on, why don’t we go sit on the couch, hm? It’s a bit more comfortable.”

Jaehyun mumbled a quiet “okay” and let himself be guided into the living room. He plopped down onto the soft cushions. Johnny shimmied out of his suit jacket and folded it over the side of the couch before cuffing up his sleeves and settling in beside him.

“Okay,” Johnny breathed, loosening his tie. “So, you’re not sure what you want.”

It was more a statement than a question, but Jaehyun could feel his eyes on him waiting patiently for a response so he nodded.

“Oh! I know,” Johnny bounced out of his seat and strode toward a room Jaehyun had never acknowledged before, ducking inside. In seconds, he was back with a yellow pad of paper and a pen. “Why don’t we try making a pros and cons list?”

Jaehyun was kind of open to whatever at this point. “Sure, why not.” 

“My co-worker does this all the time. He’s so indecisive – he can’t even order lunch without making a pros and cons list,” Johnny laughed off-handedly, shaking his head. “ _Pisces_.”

He scribbled onto the pad, creating a rudimentary chart across the lined paper. He even doodled a little lemon at the top of the page.

“So any thoughts you have, pro or con, just shout it out, okay?”

Jaehyun rubbed his sweaty palms against his jeans. He probably had a thousand different thoughts flying around his head so it took him a second to extract just one.

“Okay, um… I guess the first thing is that we barely know each other.”

Johnny jotted it down.

“Not for lack of trying,” he murmured, not so inconspicuously. “I’d like to spend more time together, regardless of this situation.”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Jaehyun warned, only half-joking. “This could be your chance.”

Johnny smiled and shook his head.

“Well I was thinking more like splitting the dinner-for-two special at Lotus Blossom Cafe, instead of, ya know, having a _whole baby_ together, but… yeah,” he chuckled. 

And Jaehyun chuckled, too. Johnny was sweet, and for once it actually made Jaehyun feel a little bit looser, a little bit calmer.

“Uh, expensive. Kids are hella expensive,” Jaehyun continued.

“True,” Johnny agreed. “And… your job could be a problem.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows tugged together. “What do you mean?”

Johnny looked up and blinked at him.

“Oh, I mean, I’m not sure a bar is a great environment for a pregnant person,” he explained. 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun breathed, slumping back onto the cushions as he imagined trying to waddle around behind the bar when he’s the size of a planet. “You’re right.”

“But it’s okay!” Johnny carried on quickly. “I mean, I have a good job in real estate. It would definitely be enough to keep our heads above water, I think.”

Jaehyun hummed, but there was a pang of fear that struck him. He had been supporting himself since he was 21-years-old – the idea of relying on someone else again was a little daunting. But he didn’t have too long to dwell on that because moments later, Johnny’s stomach rumbled hard enough that it nearly shook the couch. The elder frowned, reaching a hand to his torso. 

“Sorry. Obviously the dinner plans got kind of side-tracked,” he murmured. 

“I guess that’s my bad,” Jaehyun mumbled shyly before sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. He’d never really intended to share a meal with Johnny – because he’d never really intended to share a meal with _any_ booty call. And yet, he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “We could still order in and, like… have dinner while we figure all this out… if you want.”

A little smile tugged at the corner of Johnny’s lips and he nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

In a little over forty minutes, the pair had covered every inch of the coffee table in front of them with plastic containers filled with colorful noodle dishes and fragrant curries. On balance, it seemed like an insane amount for just two people, but the intensity of Jaehyun’s own hunger had been masked by the bundle of nerves in his gut until now. Thankfully the elder had no qualms ordering the extra entrees and sides that he requested. His generosity did not escape Jaehyun’s notice.

Johnny twirled noodles around his fork and speared a chunk of tofu while he eyed the list again.

“We should try to come up with some pros, I think,” he announced through a mouthful of pad thai. “There’s got to be one or two reasons why you‘re considering having the baby.”

Jaehyun swallowed thickly, shuffling the vegetables around his bowl of coconut curry. It was hard to find a concrete reason behind the feeling he had. All he could say for sure was that he was open to it – and whether by willful ignorance or general confusion, he certainly did not know why.

“Okay, I’ll start,” Johnny said. “You get a decent tax break – so that kind of helps with the whole cost issue.” 

“That’s a good point,” Jaehyun said, as if he was a functioning adult who knew how to do his taxes properly. But then another thought popped into his head. “Oh, and I can park in those spaces reserved for expectant parents at the grocery store and mall and stuff.”

“And when you have the actual baby, you can use the carpool lane,” Johnny added, brushing off his hands and grabbing the pen to write the new additions on the list. 

Jaehyun took a moment to admire his profile while he did. His strong jaw, pretty eyes, and cute nose – and of course, his lips, which still looked deliciously full even when pursed in concentration.

“Great genes,” Jaehyun blurted out. He cleared his throat before trying again. “We have um, pretty good genes, so…”

Johnny snorted, nodding as he scribbled it down. But when he glanced up, his eyes were warm and affectionate, beaming heat straight into Jaehyun’s cheeks.

“Yeah. We’d probably make one good-looking kid, huh?” He nudged Jaehyun’s shoulder playfully with his own, smiling. “Especially if they got those cute dimples of yours.”

Jaehyun felt the tips of his ears burn, and Johnny must’ve noticed, too, if his breathy laugh was anything to go by. Then the elder shifted his attention again, mentioning something along the lines of how ‘objectively cute’ baby clothes are, and Jaehyun did his best to listen while he dug out every last piece of chicken from the container in his lap.

“Do you not like green peppers?” Johnny suddenly asked.

Jaehyun tilted his head up before scrunching his nose at the vegetable he had been so pointedly eating around. “Eh, no… not really.”

“Huh. Look at that – learned something new already,” Johnny hummed and poked his fork into the dish, skewering the green chunks before taking them between his teeth.

Jaehyun was a complete loss now. He did not care for someone else touching his food – whether he wanted it or not. The last time Taeyong tried to snag so much as a burnt french fry from him without asking, Jaehyun nearly wrestled him to the floor in the middle of a McDonald’s. So why did he find it charming when Johnny did it? Jaehyun wasn’t even the type to get ‘charmed.’ He was the type to get rooted and booted in that order, and those were the only waters he had been comfortable swimming in – at least until now.

He brushed it off. There was enough to worry about without pulling at that thread now, too.

They carried on their brainstorming over the course of the next hour or so. The conversation ebbed here and there, as one might expect it to considering this was far more than the pair had ever spoken to each other before. But that didn’t mean it was particularly uncomfortable. In fact, it just felt kind of… natural. Almost _easy_. 

And they learned a little more about each other, for better or for worse. For instance, Jaehyun learned that Johnny had a good relationship with his parents and had no student loan debt. And on the other hand, Johnny learned that Jaehyun can tie a cherry stem in a knot with his tongue in less than two minutes and that he once traded a handjob for Jason Derulo tickets. But surprisingly, Johnny only giggled and said he’d have to see Jaehyun’s party trick with his own eyes, while he found the ticket deal to be both pretty understandable and also enterprising. 

Their mixed bag of a discussion aside, they did thoroughly fill out their list, covering the yellow paper in ink from top to bottom.

Soon enough, Johnny was taking the last spoonful of panang curry and rice before stacking the emptied containers one on top of the other. He held out the last spring roll for Jaehyun before he started clearing away their rubbish. He shuffled into the kitchen, boxing what little evidence remained of their dinner and tossing their dishes in the sink. 

Jaehyun sunk back into the couch, crispy roll in one hand and the paper pad in the other. The pros and cons looked much too evenly split for his liking. 

“What are you thinking?” Johnny spoke up, appearing over his shoulder and resting his forearms on the back of the couch.

“I’m not sure this list idea of yours really cleared anything up with this lemon situation if I’m being honest,” Jaehyun sighed. 

Johnny squinted at the sheet before him, examining the near perfect symmetry of both sides of the chart.

“Guess not,” he finally concurred. 

Jaehyun groaned, shoving the last bite of the spring roll in his mouth and discarding the pad in order to massage his temples instead. He barely clocked Johnny straightening up behind him until he felt a new set of fingertips gently replacing his own. 

His eyelids fluttered closed and he couldn’t protest if he wanted to. He should’ve expected Johnny to be great with his fingers outside of just a sexual context.

“Why don’t we take a little break, hm?” Johnny cooed softly. “I’m sure I can take your mind off things…”

Jaehyun shivered. He had been much too distracted by the winding curveball life had thrown at him to even remember how horny he had been lately.

While his knees fell open naturally at the relatively innocuous insinuation of sex, he was pretty surprised that Johnny was even interested.

He blinked his eyes open. “You still wanna bang?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Johnny shrugged. He curled his fingers and dragged his nails through the cropped hair above Jaehyun’s ears, trailing through and down his neck before settling against his shoulders. “But if you don’t want to, that’s fi—”

“Definitely,” Jaehyun cut in, bouncing off the couch and turning around toward Johnny. “I definitely want that. Like, now.”

 _Sounded a little demanding_ , Jaehyun chided himself. _Better scale it back._

“Please,” he added.

 _‘Please.’ Christ, I sound pathetic. I_ am _pathetic._

But apparently Johnny liked that, if the glint in his eye as he rounded the couch was anything to go by. He took Jaehyun’s hand and pulled him toward the bedroom. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely…”

Jaehyun had to admit, he thought it might feel a little weirder between them – but once he was splayed out on his back with Johnny pumping three fingers in and out of him, it was pretty much business as usual. 

And he adored this – a chance to turn his brain off and just let his body do what it did best. His head and shoulders sunk back into the heap of pillows while he was stretched open. He didn’t have to worry about any issues or decisions – didn’t have to fret over any responsibilities. All he could think about was why Johnny was so goddamn skilled at winding his body up…

“So good,” he groaned, just as Johnny slowed his movements before slipping out of him completely. 

“Um… Do we need a condom, or…?” Johnny asked, his hand tentatively outstretched towards his nightstand.

Jaehyun propped himself up on his elbows. “It’s not like I can get any more pregnant than I already am… right?”

“Well, _technically—_ ”

Jaehyun’s eyes immediately widened in shock, color draining from his face.

“I just saw it on the news once! But it’s crazy rare for something like that to happen,” Johnny quickly added. “I think we’ll be fine… But I totally don’t mind wearing one, if that’s what you want.”

Honestly, statistics hadn’t really been his friend as of late, and Jaehyun tried to mull that over, but his critical thinking function was basically out of commission at the moment. All he knew was that he was felt really empty and horny, and the idea of Johnny busting inside him again was pretty fucking enticing.

“It’s fine, I don’t care, just fuck me,” he breathed, using his legs to urge Johnny closer. 

The elder giggled, lurching forward to cage Jaehyun in, smothering him in kisses as he expertly lined up with his entrance. Johnny was careful, rolling slow and deep inside the body he’d grown so accustomed to. But it wasn’t long before Jaehyun wanted more.

“Johnny.”

The other only moaned into the crook of Jaehyun’s neck, so he threaded his fingers into his honeyed locks and tugged.

“ _Johnny_.”

Johnny’s head poked up. He shook his bangs out of his eyes and Jaehyun could see his forehead scrunched in concern, pupils wide.

“What’s up?”

“Go harder,” Jaehyun finished, almost sheepishly. “Just… do me like you usually do.”

Johnny pushed himself up with a grunt. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you or go overboard or anything…”

“I’m pregnant – I’m not made of glass,” Jaehyun snorted. “You said you wanted to fuck me into the mattress tonight so do it.”

“You sure?” Johnny asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You want the whole nine yards?”

“I want the whole nine yards and the whole nine inches.”

Johnny smirked and leaned down, pecking the younger’s nose tenderly in a way that didn’t match the change in his tone. “Then you better turn over for me.”

He pushed the backs of Jaehyun’s thighs as he backed out of him before Jaehyun could scramble onto his hands and knees. Johnny’s cock pushed inside of him once more and he wasted no time finding a rougher rhythm. 

Jaehyun’s eyes rolled back into the far recesses of his head at the new angle. God, he missed this. His life might’ve been in chaos, but one thing he knew for sure was that no matter what, he really didn’t want to stop sleeping with Johnny anytime soon.

Johnny’s fingers dug into his hips and Jaehyun arched his back down, chest grazing the mattress as he collapsed onto his elbows. Johnny picked up his pace and Jaehyun’s knees started to slide out from under him, ass still aimed to high heaven.

“Is this better, Jaehyunnie?~” Johnny teased, slowing only long enough to bend over Jaehyun’s body and kiss against the top of his spine. “Just got pregnant and still gagging for me to fill you up like the messy little slut you are.” 

He leaned back, hands pushing into the dip of Jaehyun’s spine as he wondered if the younger knew just how exquisite he looked from this angle. He probably did.

Jaehyun turned over his shoulder and huffed. “Wow, is that how you talk to the man who’s carrying your child?”

Johnny paused, coming to a swift and speechless halt.

“Oh my god, I’m just kidding,” the younger whined, weakly attempting to push his ass back against Johnny’s cock. “I _am_ a slut and I _am_ gagging for it. So please don’t stop.”

Jaehyun’s hands uncurled from where they were fisted into the sheets and slowly slid behind his back, reaching blindly for Johnny’s.

“Can’t get enough, can you, baby?”

He only got a garbled groan in response, the younger’s face now burrowing into the pillows as Johnny wrapped his hands around Jaehyun’s wrists and pulled, drilling into him mercilessly. Jaehyun didn’t have a spare brain cell to process the other’s slip of the tongue because with the way Johnny was hitting his sweet spot just right and turning his insides into mush, he was about 3.5 seconds from busting all over the bed.

And with a long, satisfied grunt, he did, just before the other was creaming inside him. Johnny rocked into him, riding out his orgasm as cum coated every inch of his walls.

For a few moments, Jaehyun was in heaven. Body relaxed but also simultaneously tingling and buzzing all over; not a single thought in his head to speak of; and Johnny’s big cock still buried deep inside of him. But like all good things, it sadly had to come to an end.

Johnny’s grasp around his hands loosened and Jaehyun’s hands slid lazily onto the mattress as the elder carefully dislodged himself. He let himself admire the view of Jaehyun’s hole dripping with his semen before slumping down just beside him.

“Good?” He asked instinctively, even though Jaehyun’s limp form already told him the answer.

“So fucking good,” Jaehyun moaned.

Johnny’s fingers tracing idly through the sweat that had collected between the younger’s shoulder blades before smoothing along his torso and massaging soft circles into his lower back and ass. 

It was quiet for a while, save for the gentle panting as they each tried to catch their breath. The room felt hot and stuffy, but so _right_.

For the first time in days, Jaehyun felt completely calm and relaxed. He could’ve easily drifted into a comatose slumber after just one round, but—

“Is it weird that it’s even hotter fucking you knowing you’re carrying my baby?” 

Jaehyun cracked one eye open and snickered, rolling himself onto his side. Maybe it was just his post-nut fog, but he was a lot less stressed now that Johnny seemed to be there for him.

Johnny’s cheeks were so pretty and flushed, lips pink like he’d been chewing on them. Jaehyun couldn’t resist leaning forward and catching them with his own.

“Well then you better get your fill.”

Johnny rubbed around the curve of the younger’s ass and trailed over his hip before dragging his fingertips against his cock.

“Yeah? Already?” He offered a sideways grin as he curled his fingers around Jaehyun’s member and stroked gently. “Are you ever satisfied, Jae?”

Jaehyun hissed. He never did mind his famously brief refractory period but apparently the pregnancy was making him a little bit sensitive. Still, that didn’t stop him from shifting onto his back for easier access – because that was just round one.

Jaehyun felt like he had a decade’s worth of pent-up frustration to work through, even if it had only been a month. He’d grown accustomed to getting stuffed with a certain frequency and regularity, so he was making up for lost time.

Besides, as if he could resist Johnny’s touch.

“No,” he sniffed matter-of-factly. “So you better get to work.”

It wasn’t long before Johnny was camped between his legs, wearing Jaehyun’s thighs as earmuffs as he sucked the life out of him through his dick. Johnny never had any problem thoroughly slurping him down.

After that, Jaehyun let himself be dragged to the shower with the promise of quickie and some pampering. If he was going to be pregnant, he figured he might as well milk it – and he wasn’t quite so freaked out by Johnny’s more intimate touches at the moment.

“Do you… want to stay over?” Johnny asked, after passing Jaehyun a fresh, fluffy towel.

His voice was casual but quiet and cautious, like the younger was a wild animal that he was afraid he might scare away with any loud noises. Frankly, Jaehyun thought that was fair enough. After all, he had a lot of rules for this arrangement they had.

But he let a lot of them slide tonight already – and so far, he didn’t totally regret it. He didn’t want to read too much into it, but since this was the first time he’s felt at ease since finding out he was pregnant, he wasn’t really ready for it to end just yet.

Still, old habits die hard.

“I should probably bounce,” Jaehyun said sleepily, just before stifling a yawn. He wandered back to the bedroom and started gathering up his clothes.

Johnny hummed, unconvinced as he followed close behind. “So you’ll consider having a baby with me, but you still won’t spend the night?”

Jaehyun shrugged inconclusively as he grabbed his jeans and started to fix the inside-out pant leg. He bit back another yawn before feeling two warm hands wrap around his waist.

“You’re exhausted, Jae,” Johnny mumbled against the shell of his ear. “And there’s a perfectly good bed right here…”

Jaehyun bit his lip. Now that Johnny had bundled up the cum-stained blanket and tossed it into the laundry, the bed did look particularly tempting. Plus, he guessed there was about an 80% chance of morning sex with Johnny and he was admittedly quite interested in experiencing that.

“Fine,” he conceded, and Johnny kissed the back of his neck in delight. “Let me just call my roommate real quick or else he’ll worry.”

“Seriously?” Jaehyun could practically hear the way his eyebrows were scrunched together.

“Yeah. The last time I didn’t come home from a dick appointment, he tried to file a missing persons report,” Jaehyun sighed, shaking his head as he tugged his phone out of his jeans pocket and shimmied out of Johnny’s hold. 

The elder giggled and let Jaehyun stroll out of the room for a little privacy. He ducked back into the bathroom and dialled his friend, who answered almost immediately.

 _“What’s wrong?”_ Taeyong sounded like his face was very firmly plastered to his pillow.

“Nothing’s wrong, but I’m staying over—”

 _“You’re_ what _?”_

“I’m staying at Johnny’s tonight.”

_“You don’t do that. Ever. Are you like, under duress? If you’re under duress, cough twice.”_

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “What? No, I’m fine. I just don’t feel like driving home. So don’t call the police like last time.”

He heard Taeyong gasp dramatically. _“Oh my god, I know what’s happening… You like him.”_

“No I don’t.”

_“You do! Wow, that dick must be magic if it’s got Jung Jaehyun sprung.”_

“Right, I’m hanging up now.”

_“Tell Johnny I said h—”_

Jaehyun ended the call and rubbed his forehead. He was definitely not looking forward to dealing with _that_ tomorrow.

When he returned to the bedroom, Johnny had rearranged the pillows and turned down his covers. He even gathered Jaehyun’s clothes and folded them neatly, setting them on top of his dresser.

“Everything good?” Johnny asked as he came through the doorway behind him, glass of water in hand.

“Oh, yeah,” Jaehyun hummed. “He’s actually cool, but he’s just like, mildly co-dependent. It’s fine though…”

“Sounds like a trip. Maybe I’ll get to meet him sometime,” Johnny chuckled, and Jaehyun didn’t have time to respond to that truly frightening thought before the elder continued. “Hey, you can borrow some boxers, if you want.”

Jaehyun noticed that Johnny had thrown on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers as well.

He shrugged. “I usually sleep naked, so…”

“Yeah, me too,” Johnny grinned. “But I feel like if we’re both naked, then we…won’t actually sleep at all.”

That was a very good call on Johnny’s part and Jaehyun slipped into the pair he had fished out of his drawers for him, abandoning the damp terry cloth around his waist. He tried not to think too much about it as he rounded the side of the bed, sliding into empty space beside the other who was comfortably waiting for him.

Johnny flicked off the lamp on the nightstand and Jaehyun didn’t realize just how spent his body was until it was melting into his heavenly mattress. It was amazing – so much better than his own at home. He was surely going to pass out in 3, 2, 1—

But there was some rustling of the cotton sheets as Johnny moved just a little closer, enough so he could glide a soft paw over the bend of Jaehyun’s waist. 

“I’m glad you stayed,” Johnny whispered. “Goodnight Jae.”

“G'night,” the younger managed through a knot in his throat. 

He wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it was quite the opposite – and that had Jaehyun a bit rattled. But thankfully, he was too tired and too cozy for the thought to gain any traction bouncing around inside his head. Instead, he let Johnny’s arm sink him further into the bed, which promptly carried him off to dreamland.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)


	4. baby steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last twelve hours had left Johnny with the very legitimate possibility of being on the fast-track to getting everything he wants. And the more he thought about it, the more it felt like he might just vibrate out of his skin if he kept it all bottled up.
> 
> “I know he said we shouldn’t tell a whole bunch of people, but,” Johnny paused, tapping his fingers on the counter. “He never said I couldn’t tell _anyone_ …”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi !! thank you for waiting for this chapter while i re-wrote it a couple of times 🥴 i'm really excited to introduce another couple to this au too !! ✨
> 
> side note: the characters are out of age order and there's not much rhyme or reason for it 🤪
> 
> please enjoy this update!~

Something bright and invasive settled over Johnny’s eyelids. He didn’t open them, instead trying to push himself up and roll away from the intruding beam of morning light poking in through a crack in his curtains.

But he couldn’t, trapped under the weight of something very dense – a firm mass with smooth, warm skin. It was...moving. _Breathing_. Then he remembered what it was.

A sleepy grin pulled at his lips. _Oh… Right._

He finally blinked his eyes open, adjusting past the assault of sunlight pouring in before peering down at the snoozing man plastered against his chest. He didn’t know how or when Jaehyun ended up snuggled on top of him during the night, but it was quite an astonishing development for him – especially since Johnny had consciously made sure not to crowd the younger too much, knowing how nervous Jaehyun usually was when it came to intimacy of the nonsexual variety.

So seeing Jaehyun’s puffy cheek squished against his chest was both shocking and adorable. Johnny draped his arm around his shoulder, thumb brushing back and forth against his bare side.

Jaehyun suddenly sniffed, one eye cracking open as he slowly got his bearings.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Johnny greeted warmly. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for such a cuddle monster.” 

Jaehyun tilted his head up. He blinked at Johnny, and the elder was certain he could see the fight or flight reflexes at war just behind his eyes. But in the end, he was still too sleepy and they both lost as Jaehyun lowered his head again, letting his eyes drift closed after an unconvincing eye roll.

“I’m not,” Jaehyun grumbled weakly, and Johnny relished the flare of pink in his cheeks. “You’re just… comfortable, or whatever…”

Johnny hummed, unphased by his crankiness. He ran his fingers through Jaehyun’s thick hair, smoothing out some of the wild, messy locks. 

Usually the only time Johnny touched the other’s hair was when he was yanking on a fistful of it while Jaehyun was gagging on his cock – which is just how he liked it. But he was glad to see that Jaehyun wasn’t too bothered by this more chaste gesture.

Despite the younger’s efforts to appear purposefully obtuse and even, at times, entirely superficial, Johnny liked to think he had a pretty decent read on Jaehyun. After all, when you see someone stripped down to his most basic form of existence enough, you tend to pick up on a few things about him.

He knew Jaehyun wasn’t quite as one-dimensional as he wanted to come off – he knew he wasn’t as unfeeling and purely libidinous as he acted – and last night’s events seemed to confirm as much. But one thing was certain – Jaehyun _was_ painfully stubborn about maintaining his façade. So Johnny would have to wait for Jaehyun to come to him – and for now, he could be patient. 

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Like a fucking rock,” Jaehyun moaned against his t-shirt. “This bed is cozy as shit.”

Johnny clicked his tongue.

“And to think of all the nights you could’ve been sleeping in it before,” he teased, pinching at Jaehyun’s side.

The younger hissed, jolting awake at the sharp twinge. He swatted at Johnny’s chest before making a break-out attempt against the other’s hold, but the elder only tightened his grip, circling both strong arms around him. Jaehyun gave in with a huff that made Johnny giggle.

“What time is it, anyway?” Jaehyun asked, glancing around the room. It must’ve felt weird and unfamiliar to see it in the light of day.

Johnny peeked at the clock on the wall.

“Just a little after 8:00,” he said. “Why, you got a hot date you need to get ready for?”

Jaehyun wriggled his arms free, stacking his hands on top of Johnny’s chest and propping up his chin.

“Not unless you know another hot, hung beefcake within shouting distance.”

“Unfortunately, no,” Johnny confessed.

Jaehyun hummed, shimmying himself up Johnny’s body until they were eye-level. His thigh grazed purposefully against the elder’s morning wood, his eyes already twinkling with mischief.

“That’s a shame,” he sighed, fingers slithering down beneath the covers, dancing over Johnnys’ abdomen before brushing squarely over his clothed dick. “Then I’ll just have to stay here and fool around with you, I guess…”

A smirk stretched along Johnny’s plump lips. He should’ve expected Jaehyun to be horny again within about three minutes of regaining consciousness. Not that Johnny was had any problem with that – Jaehyun had a significantly arousing effect on him, too, and frankly, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t totally betting on his guest’s insatiable sex drive to not let him down this morning.

Though, as it turned out, neither could be bothered getting whipped up for the whole song and dance this early. Instead, they settled for sloppily playing with each other’s dicks until they were cumming all over their tummies with their legs tangled together and their tongues crammed down one another’s throats. It might’ve been quick and dirty, but it was also entirely effective so neither party complained.

Johnny turned over his shoulder, stretching for the box of wet wipes stashed in the nightstand drawer while Jaehyun settled back against the pillows, arms nestling behind his head.

“So, I was thinking,” Johnny began, delicately wiping up the mess of semen painting the younger’s taut abdomen. He knew it was probably unnecessary to be especially careful just because of the microscopic clump of cells inside there, but he couldn’t help it. “Since you haven’t really settled on what you want to do about the baby—”

“Oh, uh…” Jaehyun cut in nervously, and Johnny froze, holding his breath. He couldn’t imagine the other would have made up his mind about everything so quickly, but he braced himself for the worst. “Can we just keep referring to it as a lemon? At least for now? I just kind of… feel more comfortable with that.”

Johnny exhaled, nodding in understanding. That was much better than what he was prepared to hear just now

“Sure. Anyway, since you haven’t really settled on what you want to do about the _lemon_ ,” he started again. “I think maybe you should start considering some preparatory measures. Like, taking prenatal vitamins and stuff…”

Jaehyun snorted. “ _When_ were you thinking of this? Just now? When you were jerking me off?”

Johnny could only shrug, as casually as he could manage. To be honest, that seemed better than admitting outright how much he personally got off on the idea of this baby and the subsequent domestic bliss it could bring.

Thankfully, Jaehyun only laughed it off.

“Yeah… I mean, I guess you’re right. I’ve already done some reading and stuff, but I haven’t even seen a doctor yet, which I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to do like, kind of early,” Jaehyun admitted sheepishly. “Not particularly looking forward to that…”

“Why’s that?” Johnny asked, crumpling the dirty wipes and tossing them off the bed. He could deal with that later – right now, he didn’t want to leave his side.

Jaehyun’s nose scrunched up cutely before mumbling, “My health insurance may have, uh…lapsed…so…” 

Johnny nodded slowly, just trying to process all the ramifications of that information. That would be yet another hurdle to this whole situation, but it was far from the end of the world. Johnny was single and comfortably-successful in his career – and as far as having a reason to dip into his savings goes, a baby is about as good as it gets.

“That’s okay. Like I said last night, I can help out with finances and stuff,” he assured, before quietly gathering the courage for the next words out of his mouth. “I can even go with you to the appointment – if you want.”

Jaehyun turned to him, visibly biting at the inside of his lip while his forehead twitched and tightened. Johnny knew this look – it meant Jaehyun was having some kind of conflicting feeling. The elder had picked up on it after about a month of seeing each other. He was certain Jaehyun wasn’t even aware he was doing it half the time, but Johnny’s stomach always churned while he awaited the outcome of his internal struggle.

Finally, Jaehyun cleared his throat and brought his hands forward so he could shift his attention to fiddling with an imaginary hangnail.

“Yeah, um… yeah, that might be good,” he finally said. “Ya know, because I always forget about important stuff by the time I’m in the doctor’s office, anyway, so… it’s probably good to have someone else there…”

Johnny bit back his overwhelming urge to squeal and swallowed down his heart before it could shoot out of his mouth in excitement. He couldn’t really explain his affection for Jaehyun, but it was there and as prominent as ever. 

He reached out and tilted Jaehyun’s face toward him again before leaning in and catching him with a kiss. Johnny was gentle, as Jaehyun’s lips were still reddened and no doubt sore from the rough-handling that the younger typically preferred – but Johnny was pleasantly surprised when he returned the same tenderness. 

It was easy and sweet and intimate, right up until Jaehyun abruptly pulled away, staring at Johnny like a deer in headlights before rolling himself off the bed.

“I should dip out,” Jaehyun announced as he turned in a slow, confused circle until he remembered where his clothes were.

Johnny couldn’t help the frown that pulled at his face – but he knew that he’d already gotten the pleasure of Jaehyun’s company for much longer than ever before and that he shouldn’t push his luck, no matter how badly he wanted to. So he sat back and silently watched Jaehyun yank on his jeans with a grunt before slipping his t-shirt over his head.

Johnny pushed himself up and swung his leg over the side of the bed, finding his feet just as Jaehyun was checking that he had all his belongings. 

“Well, thanks for staying over,” Johnny said, falling in step with the other as he walked him to the front door. His hand fell to the small of Jaehyun’s back by instinct, the younger relaxing into the touch. “And look at that – the world didn’t come crumbling down, did it?”

Jaehyun’s lips curled, his sincere smile poorly masked with a goofy smirk.

“Yeah, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” he admitted reluctantly. 

“Maybe next time you’ll even stay for breakfast…” 

Johnny gasped dramatically for effect and Jaehyun playfully rolled his eyes as the two stopped in front of the familiar dark green of the door. 

“Let’s not get too crazy,” Jaehyun chuckled, somewhat awkwardly. 

Johnny admired the tinge of pink on the other’s cheeks. “Right. One thing at a time. Baby steps – no pun intended.” 

Johnny snickered at his own lame joke, hoping to get a pity laugh or at least a groan of disgust – but Jaehyun only swallowed thickly, shoving his hands in his pockets like he didn’t know what else to do with them.

“Um, actually speaking of that,” Jaehyun started lowly, eyes falling to his shoes. “We probably shouldn’t, like… tell a bunch of people about this whole thing, right?”

Johnny blinked. He hadn’t even really thought of that – though it made perfect sense. It wouldn’t be all that wise to go blabbering to everyone they know when they weren’t even sure yet if they were going to go through with it.

“Oh, right. Yeah, I agree,” Johnny said before clearing his throat and stepping forward. He tipped the other’s chin upward again. “And really, I’m glad you came over. And… I’m glad you decided to tell me about everything. We’ll figure this out, Jae.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows and forehead did _that thing_ again, but thankfully, only for a moment. 

“Yeah, totally,” Jaehyun breathed quietly. “Um… Thanks for, like, being so cool about it…”

Johnny huffed out a small laugh, reaching out to fix another lock of Jaehyun’s still-tousled hair. “Of course.”

The color in Jaehyun’s face darkened from a pink moscato to a pinot noir and he nodded just before sucking in a deep breath. “I better hit the road, so…”

Jaehyun grabbed the doorknob but paused, rocking up onto his toes and pressing a kiss to Johnny’s cheek. Judging by his face, his own impulsivity seemed to fluster even himself.

But Johnny barely even registered it, temporarily stunned as he watched Jaehyun duck his adorably flushed face before scurrying out of the door.

He might as well have been floating on a sea of fluffy clouds as he walked to the kitchen. He had a mind to make a massive cup of coffee, but he ended up simply leaning against the counter, listlessly twirling the carousel of K-cups around and around while he was stuck in his dreamy world, thinking of Jaehyun’s pink, dimpled cheeks.

He knew he shouldn’t indulge – he shouldn’t let himself imagine a future where he would wake up to that perfect face every morning. A future where he shared his evenings sitting across from that beauty, recapping the mundane details of his day at work over chicken parmesan and a glass of red wine. A future where that handsome man stood at his side, resting his head on his shoulder as Johnny held a little baby in his arms – a little baby that they made together.

It was absolutely against his better judgment to let himself get wrapped up in a future that – all things considered – seemed unlikely to come to fruition, especially since he knew how bat-shit insane it probably sounded. But he couldn’t help himself – not when he was closer to his long-held hope of a family than ever before.

Sure, he never expected for it to happen quite like this – but who was he to tell the universe how to fulfill his hopes and dreams? And even if it was still early days with Jaehyun, there was no refuting the feelings that had been blooming since their first meeting.

The last twelve hours had left Johnny with the very legitimate possibility of being on the fast-track to getting everything he wants. And the more he thought about it, the more it felt like he might just vibrate out of his skin if he kept it all bottled up.

“I know he said we shouldn’t tell a whole bunch of people, but,” Johnny paused, tapping his fingers on the counter. “He never said I couldn’t tell _anyone_ …”

Though his logic was air-tight, he figured he should really only limit it to one or two people. So he weighed up his options.

He immediately ruled out his parents – even with his exuberant optimism, he knew that was probably a bad idea for a whole host of reasons. Next, he nixed his cousin from the list. They were close and he was a fun kid who was great to goof around with, but he was unlikely to mirror Johnny’s enthusiasm interest in the subject, so he moved on. Then he considered his friends – a married couple that was a few years older than him and had a few kids of their own – and he thought no further.

He shuffled back to his bedroom to find his phone and, being a competent multi-tasker (which he noted would definitely make him a good dad), he dialed the number for one half of the married pair and started pulling up the pale grey sheets along his bed.

_“Johnny? Hey! What’s up?”_

Beyond the voice, there were the echo-y sounds of familial chaos on a Saturday morning in the background on the other end of the line.

Johnny smiled, fluffing and rearranging his pillows with one free hand. “Hey, Ten. How’re you guys doing?”

 _“We’re, uh— Yeah, we’re good! Just— Hang on a second.”_ Ten must’ve shifted his phone and pressed it to his chest but it did little to muffle his yelling. _“Hey! You! Sit! Agh… Kunhang, where did your other sock go? And what’s all over your brother’s face?”_

Johnny finished making up his bed while listening to the unintelligible but utterly adorable childish commentary followed by a tired, parental sigh. And soon Ten was back on the phone. _“Sorry about that. Typical morning in the Qian-Li household. It can’t be helped…”_

“No worries,” Johnny said. He genuinely loved his friends’ family. It was everything he wanted for himself. “What are you guys up to today? I was thinking about stopping by to see my favorite little nephews. I miss them.”

Ten sputtered out a laugh. _“Really? It’s only been a couple of weeks since Renjun’s first birthday party – and after the way Dejun made you play blocks with him for an hour, I thought you would have gotten your fill for a while.”_

“I actually enjoyed our playtime, thank you very much. He was a much easier conversationalist than some of your obnoxious lawyer friends,” Johnny teased.

 _“Yeah, that sounds about right. But, um… we’ve actually got some errands this afternoon, but— Hey, why don’t you come over for breakfast?”_ Ten offered. _“The gremlins are already eating now, but Kun’s been on an absolute tear in the kitchen – like a good little house-husband – so there’s plenty of food. We definitely wouldn’t mind some adult company. Good distraction, actually…”_

Somewhere in the background, Ten’s partner was protesting at his patronizing turn of phrase while Ten chuckled mischievously. But now that Johnny thought about it, he was actually kind of ravenous after the morning’s activities, too.

“Actually, yeah, that would be awesome,” Johnny said before ducking to examine himself in the mirror over his dresser. He could probably do with another quick shower. “I’ll head over in like, 20 minutes after I get cleaned up. Is that cool?”

_“Yeah, you better do that. I don’t want you bringing that bachelor stink into my nice, clean house, so…”_

“Yes, I’m still single, ha ha, very funny,” Johnny huffed sarcastically. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

His friend snickered before hanging up. 

Johnny jumped into the shower right away. Even if it hadn’t been that long, he always loved to see his friends and their family. 

He remembered when it was just the two of them – Ten and Kun. They lived in the same building as him before he moved into his current apartment. It wasn’t nearly as nice as his place now – nothing more than a small studio with minimal natural light and hideous laminate tiles in a crumbling building. Plus, the walls were so thin, he could quite clearly hear his neighbors fucking next door.

Which is how he met the now happily-married, suburban-dwelling parents. 

Despite that awkward beginning, it wasn’t long before they became good friends. They hung out often and Johnny never felt like too much of a third-wheel, even though Kun and Ten were already married. In fact, whenever they went to bars or clubs, the couple made for surprisingly effective wingmen for him. Looking back, it was quite a fun and exciting time in Johnny’s life. Of course, all that changed when Kun got pregnant.

After the baby arrived, they moved out of their apartment and into a home just outside of the city, and went on to pop out another two kiddoes. Their lives were different now. Kun eventually quit his job as an attorney to work as a part-time consultant so he could stay home with the little ones while his husband was fast on his way to becoming the youngest partner at their law firm. And with their new family came new schedules, Johnny saw them less now, but life goes on. Plus, now he had three little bubs to periodically spoil so he couldn’t complain.

But Ten and Kun could – and they regularly did. It was mostly just whining for Johnny to hurry up and get hitched and start having babies too so their kids could be friends and they could all be papas together. So Johnny was pretty sure that they would be nothing short of delighted by his news.

He stopped by the convenience store on his way over to their house to pick up some sweets. There was a bag full of candies on the passenger’s seat, just waiting to be torn apart by three little sets of hands by the time he was pulling into the driveway, parking behind two SUVs. 

Their place was beautiful – the picture of a perfect family home, with the big oak tree in the yard and their surnames printed in a crisp font on the doormat. He knocked on the front door, careful not to disturb the homemade wreath adorning it. 

Even through the thick pane of decorated glass, Johnny could hear a chorus of squeaky, little voices. Then there was the obscured view of two short bodies bouncing on the opposite side of the door, followed by their dad shuffling up behind them.

Ten pulled open the door from the other side, letting loose his two eldest who immediately barreled into Johnny’s legs.

“Hey! Hey! Babies!” Ten hollered in his distinct ‘dad voice’ while snapping his fingers at the overly-excited children – who were still in their adorable pajamas – to come back inside. “Relax, my goodness, it’s only Uncle Johnny… Hey John, how’re you doing?”

Ten opened one arm while the other firmly held his one-year-old against his hip – which is why he made Johnny come down to his height for a half-hug.

“I’m good, I’m great,” he said before bending down to greet the little ones with one hair-ruffle each. He raised himself up again to boop the tiniest on his nose, inciting a silly giggle before turning to Ten. “How are you? You look...good, actually.”

Johnny even took himself aback with that one. Though the years of parenthood had naturally taken a little toll on him, Ten had always been handsome, of course – even now in his sweatshirt that was easily two sizes too big and an old pair of slippers, with his black hair still morning-soft and devoid of any styling product. But there was a little something else that Johnny couldn’t quite put his finger on…

“Gee, thanks,” Ten scoffed, turning on his heels. “Well, don’t just stand there letting all the air conditioning out. Come in, come in…” 

Ten padded through the house and Johnny followed behind, along with the two energetic boys skipping along at his sides. As they rounded the corner, the kitchen opened up around them. It was thick with the smell of something sugary browning in the oven. The counters were littered with bakeware and various utensils. Kun hovered at the edge of the granite, mixing away at a bowl of batter or dough or something or other. Johnny didn’t know what it was, but if Kun was making it, then it would probably be delicious.

“Hey Kun,” Johnny said, waving even though the other’s back was to him.

“Ah, hey Johnny!” He called over his shoulder. “Glad you stopped by!”

“So, we had French toast and there’s some leftovers from that. But we also have cinnamon scones, chocolate chip muffins, and a summer fruit tart.” Ten turned over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out after offering the last option, just so Johnny knew his long-standing distaste for fruit was still very much active. 

“Don’t forget the shortbreads,” Kun added.

“And there are shortbreads in the oven,” Ten repeated. He stopped in his tracks at the head of the kitchen table and spun around to Johnny with a look that silently illustrated his awareness that it was a monstrous amount of baked goods. “So you can help yourself to whatever. You want some coffee?”

“Oh, god, yeah, please,” Johnny said as he pulled out a chair to sit.

“Right, take this.” Ten shifted the pudgy little human in his hold and passed it off to Johnny before wiggling out his tired arm. “You still like hazelnut? Black?”

“Yes, please,” Johnny said as he swiftly intercepted the one-year-old. “Hi, Renjunnie.~”

The baby gurgled as Johnny set him against his lap. He was dressed in a striped grey onesie with itty bitty cotton socks to match. Even if it was a simple outfit that Johnny had seen on Kunhang and Dejun before him, it was still one of the cutest things of all time. Because all of their tiny baby clothes were precious. It was just a universal fact.

Ten suddenly groaned, gripping at his stomach before nearly doubling over in front of the coffee machine.

When Johnny looked up, the other’s face was twisted in disgust, like he was suppressing a gag as he grabbed the fresh cup of coffee for him. He shuffled quickly back to the table, his face an unsettling shade of green as he set the mug down in front of Johnny.

“I’ll be right back,” Ten mumbled, before darting away towards the stairs.

Out of the corner of his eye, Johnny saw Kun twist around, concerned eyes following his husband out of the room.

“Is he… alright?” Johnny asked cautiously, cocking his eyebrow in curiosity.

“Oh, yeah, he’s fine,” Kun said, grunting as he leaned down to pick up a whining Dejun and prop him onto the counter so the child could ‘help’ him. “He’s just getting over a bit of a stomach bug…”

“Ahh, I see,” Johnny nodded. “I didn’t know.”

“No worries, it’s not a big deal,” Kun dismissed casually, though if Johnny didn’t know him any better, he’d say there was a bit of a falter in his voice. “I mean… He’ll be alright. It’s okay.”

But Johnny didn’t have much time to question it as Kunhang scrambled into the chair beside him, poking at the flimsy plastic shopping bag Johnny had hastily dropped on top of the table.

“Uncle Johnny, what’s this?”

“Oh, I brought you guys some treats!” Johnny announced proudly. Kunhang face lit up, and even Dejun gasped across the room. But Johnny then remembered the glare he received from Ten the last time he brought candy for the kids unannounced, so he quickly added, “But you can only have them if your Daddy and Baba say it’s okay…”

“Maybe later, _if_ you’re good,” Ten declared firmly on behalf of both parents as he breezed back into the room. His face had mostly returned to its normal hue.

Kunhang pouted but didn’t fight too much, instead picking up his crayons and sulkily doodling on a pad of construction paper. 

“Trade?” Ten asked, stopping in front of Johnny with his hands held out for the baby again. Even from here, the sharp, minty scent of mouthwash was strong enough to burn Johnny’s eyes – but he figured it was best not to mention it.

And the transfer of the baby came not a moment too soon, as Renjun’s sniffles were definitely an indication of some impending fussiness. So Ten settled into the seat beside his friend and rested the baby on his lap. On the table in front of him, there was a small, silicone toy shaped like a fox. Ten grabbed it, shaking it in front of the baby’s face until Renjun snatched it with his clumsy baby hands and gnawed ferociously at the poor toy’s head.

“It’s been a big week for teething,” Ten explained nonchalantly as he dug his hand into the bag of goodies, grabbing the first thing he touched and immediately tearing into it without any regard for its contents. He threw a few candies into his mouth – which, to his luck, turned out to be mini peanut butter cups. Johnny didn’t mind him hijacking the treats meant for the kids. Ten routinely wrote off such actions as his Dad Tax. “So what’s new—”

There was a plunking sound from across the kitchen – like a thick heap of dough dropped into a glass bowl – and Ten craned his neck behind him. 

“Kun, are you almost done with that? So, you can come sit down? And relax? With our _guest?_ ”

“Almost,” he sang, like he was hoping it might temper his husband’s budding agitation as he tore off a stretch of plastic wrap. “I just need to let this dough rest…”

Ten turned back around to Johnny. 

“That’s the third loaf of milk bread this week,” Ten noted lowly, rubbing his forehead. The tinge of concern in his voice was more than a little noticeable.

“That’s… quite a lot,” Johnny said cautiously.

“Tell me about it,” Ten grumbled, reaching across the table and pulling forward the trays of fresh sweets. “So, eat. Seriously. Before we are literally buried under a mountain of baked goods.”

Left with little room to protest, Johnny lifted a glazed scone off of the plate and took a bite. As expected, it was exceptional. Kun had always been an excellent cook – which was easily one of the top five reasons why Johnny missed the days when he lived right next door. But he had to admit, the sheer _volume_ of his efforts today was… a little suspicious. Usually, Kun only moved like this when he was feeling particularly anxious – because what better way to deal with stress than by stuffing down your feelings and making lots and lots of delicious baked goods instead?

Johnny took note of it, but chose not to press the issue, instead deciding to relieve his friends of some of these tasty treats. Just as he was going in for a second, Kun was strolling swiftly over to the table.

“Whew!” He breathed out, setting Dejun into the booster seat at the table before plopping into the chair beside Ten. He set down a mug in front of his husband, steam rising off the top and carrying a faint, spiced scent.

Ten wrapped his free hand around the warm, white ceramic and turned to the other. “Ginger?”

Kun nodded as he scooted his chair closer to the table.

“Thanks, honey,” Ten whispered softly. 

It was barely loud enough to be heard, and Kun’s smile in response was just as subtle – but Johnny picked up on it, nonetheless. He admired their moments of tender affection. It used to make his heart ache with yearning, but now it only had hope bubbling up in his stomach as he strayed to thoughts of someday sharing such a thing with Jaehyun… 

“So, what’s going on? How are you doing? You look good, man,” Kun said all at once, bringing the attention back to their guest.

Johnny quickly swallowed down a crumbly bite of scone before a wide grin bloomed on his face.

“So—”

“Oh my gosh.” Ten was already interjecting. “You’re still seeing that guy you’re obsessed with, right?”

Kun sat forward in anticipation. “Wait, did you finally get him to go out on an actual date with you?”

“Sadly, no,” Johnny admitted, before remembering the previous night and perking up. He and Jaehyun _did_ order dinner and eat together, so… “Well, I guess, kind of? Maybe? But that’s not really, um…”

He trailed off, just for a second to collect his thoughts.

“You’re being weird,” Ten announced plainly, pinching off a chunk of a muffin.

Johnny pursed his lips at his friend’s comment before sucking in a breath and starting again. “Okay, so… There _is_ a new development with that, actually—”

“Oh, no, is it bad?” Kun frowned. “I hope it’s not bad…”

“No, it’s— It’s not bad,” Johnny laughed nervously, curtailing his fears. 

“Just spit it out,” Ten whined impatiently. 

“I’m trying to! Geez…” Johnny huffed, and the pair finally subdued themselves. “Anyway… As it turns out, the guy I’m seeing – Jaehyun – is… pregnant.”

“What?!”

Kun and Ten were often well in-tune with one another, but it was still pretty jarring to hear their voices sync up so exactly. 

Their expressions, however, were quite different. 

Kun’s smile was broad and positively blinding. On the other hand, Ten’s jaw dropped so low, Johnny was surprised it didn’t hit the table.

“Y-yep,” Johnny stuttered, his nerve starting to falter.

“Johnny, that’s amazing!” Kun beamed.

Ten turned to his husband, stunned. 

“Is it? Is it ‘amazing?’” He asked incredulously. 

Kun blinked at him. “Of course, it is.”

Ten scoffed. “Kun, he can’t just go around having a whole baby with someone we’ve never even met. That’s ridiculous.”

Kun pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head beside him. 

“Well, first of all, we haven’t even decided exactly what to do about it quite yet. But I’m actually really excited about it,” Johnny piped up. “And we’re not going to get an ab— _return it to the baby store_ , just because _you_ haven’t met him yet, okay?”

Ten’s annoyed expression softened.

“Aww, that’s cute,” he cooed sweetly. “Get a paternity test.”

“ _Ten_ ,” Kun gawked at his husband. “Seriously?”

“What? The guy was just a booty call, right?” Ten shrugged, going in for more candy. “Do you really believe he was exclusive?”

Johnny rolled his eyes. This was not the way he hoped this conversation would go. “Yeah, I do believe him, actually. He wouldn’t have had any reason to lie about that.”

“Oh, Johnny. You’re such a romantic,” Ten said, his lower lip jutting out in an annoyingly patronizing fashion. “But seriously, trust me. You won’t want to deal with that legal mess down the road.”

“You’ll have to excuse him – I’m not sure where he misplaced his filter today,” Kun said, side-eyeing his husband. 

“I mean, I thought you’d be happy for me,” Johnny frowned, kind of dejected now that the wind was entirely taken out of his sails. “You’ve been practically begging for me to start a family for years now…”

“Sorry, I’m just— I _am_ happy for you. And of course it would be awesome if everything worked out perfectly,” Ten said, pouting as he twirling the string of his tea bag around his index finger. “But I’m just trying to be practical here.”

“Well, that’s easier said than done when you’re the one in this situation,” Kun countered, pointedly turning to his other half. “Or have you forgotten already how impractical it was for us to have Kunhang when we did? Back at our old place? And then to have two more like, right away? And _now_ —”

Ten shot Kun a warning look, the latter quickly stifling himself before shifting back to Johnny.

“I just mean that these things are almost always complicated in some way,” Kun clarified. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinking, too,” Johnny said, his shy smile returning. “And, obviously, it’s not really how I thought this would happen, but— Well, you guys know I’ve always wanted to be a dad.”

“Right, and what about him?” Ten asked, now picking at the muffin sitting on _Kun’s_ plate. “I thought you said he was a mess.”

“Oh, I mean, yeah, he kind of is. But it’s not like he’s a bad person or anything,” Johnny shrugged. “And… as long as we do our best together, I think we’d be okay.”

“God, I want to make fun of you for being so cheesy, but you’re kind of right.” Ten pouted, shifting Renjun from one thigh to the other. “I know plenty of people thought we couldn’t do it.”

“There were days when even _we_ thought we couldn’t do it,” Kun hummed. 

“And believe it or not, there are _still_ days when we think we can’t do it,” Ten conceded, his tone bittersweet and subtle and unfamiliar to Johnny – but Kun seemed to understand.

Kun reached his arm around Ten’s shoulder. “But we make it work, don’t we?”

Ten nodded, pushing his fingertips through Renjun’s baby hair before pressing a kiss to his crown. His gaze was so soft and affectionate toward his husband that Johnny was certain they forgot about him all together.

“We do. Of course, it helps that you gave me the cutest little dumplings with squishiest little cheeks ever,” Ten cooed, squeezing Renjun’s fluffy face before grimacing and reaching for a napkin. “Even if they are just small, sticky demons most of the time…”

As if on cue, Dejun immediately knocked over his sippy cup, spilling half of its sugary contents all over the table. Kun half-chuckled, half-sighed as he pulled the dish towel off of his shoulder and started wiping up the sea of red juice. But unfortunately, it was already seeping into the paper Kunhang was doodling on, triggering a yelp from the three-year-old followed by tiny tears that quickly devolved into sobs.

Johnny jumped up to help, but Kun held out of his hand.

“I got it, don’t worry,” he assured calmly, rounding the table to scoop the weeping child out of his seat. “Shh. It’s okay, baobei…”

Meanwhile, Ten had risen from his spot too, heading toward the fridge to grab a juice box just as Dejun was beginning to whine. And naturally, to complete the triumvirate of child-induced discord, Renjun’s toy fell to the ground with a clatter, only for the bub to squirm and cry as Ten squatted uncomfortably to retrieve it.

“Well, frankly, Johnny,” Kun laughed as he returned to the table with a rag in one hand and a still-wimpering Kunhang tucked against his hip with the other. “If our horde hasn't completely scared you off the idea yet, then you must be serious about wanting kids.”

Johnny glanced from tiny, wet face to tiny, wet face to tiny, wet face – before studying the parents’ rather calm, if not a bit tired, demeanors. It was a stark contrast to the stress that was almost permanently etched on their faces in their early days of parenthood. Now, they were much composed and relaxed, and rather harmonious with each other as well.

Johnny supposed it was just something that would come with time.

“Trust me, the gravity of my situation is not lost on me,” Johnny grinned back. “But if you guys made it this far, then it can’t be too bad.”

Ten sauntered over to his side, setting the juice in front of Dejun and thumbing away his tears.

“Of course, it isn’t. And there’s so much that makes it worth it,” Ten said. He tugged on Kun’s sleeve. “We should show him Renjun’s new trick!”

Kun shook his head. “You really have to stop referring to our child’s normal human development as ‘learning tricks.’”

“Ah, whatever,” Ten dismissed, waving for Johnny to follow him as he scurried toward the family room. “Come watch this.”

In the next room, Ten cautiously set the baby down on the plushy carpet. Renjun’s tiny legs wobbled beneath him, but Ten was patient, hands gently around his little belly until the one-year-old found his balance.

Once he did, Ten let him go, but it was only for a moment, as Renjun’s little hands curled around each of his dad’s index fingers. The baby took one experimental step. Then another. And another, slowly making his way across the floor all while Ten kept him steady.

“See? He’s starting to walk!” Ten beamed, glancing up from his rather hunched state. “Pretty cool, right?!”

Ten didn’t wait for an answer, only cooing at his son and looking undeniably domestic and parental. It was the complete opposite of the foul-mouthed, club-hopping menace he knew years ago.

“Kind of crazy, huh?” Kun murmured, strolling over quietly with the two other kids in tow.

“Oh, totally,” Johnny said, pulled out of his thoughts. “They grow up so fast.”

Dejun and Kunhang broke away to join their Dad, and Kun let them go, watching with pride as they enthusiastically cheered on their baby brother.

“No, I mean Ten,” he said softly as he leaned in closer. “Who would’ve thought he’d love this so much…”

“Definitely not me.”

“Nor me,” Kun chuckled lowly, pushing a hand through his hair. “But, uh… You know he’s serious, right? He’ll probably pester and nag you everyday until he gets to meet this guy.”

Johnny sighed. “Yeah, I know, I know… And I want you guys to meet him, but… I just really like him, and I don’t want to scare him off. Plus, he’s going through a lot right now, so…”

“Hey, I understand,” Kun said, offering a comforting pat to Johnny’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I can handle my husband. Seems like you guys have plenty to figure out first anyway…”

Johnny nodded. Kun was right – whatever the outcome of this situation, there was probably going to be a lot to address between himself and Jaehyun. But for now, they were just trying to get through one thing at a time.

Ten gasped softly as the baby’s hold slid from around his fingers, and the three adults held their breath. Renjun tried to take one tentative step on his own, squealing as his little foot successfully landed on the carpet. 

While both parents showered wonderful words of praise on their youngest, Johnny only smiled to himself, mind drifting back to Jaehyun.

 _One thing at a time,_ he thought. _Baby steps._

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)


	5. face to face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For god’s sake.” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “So what? Jesus, is this really why your panties are in such a twist today? Because you have a crush on your booty call?”
> 
> “He’s not just my booty call anymore though – he’s the father of this little thing growing inside of me,” Jaehyun pouted, pointing down at his gut. “And I think it’s affecting my judgment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY back with an update !! it took a lot longer than i intended due to some personal stuff - so thank you all so much for waiting !!!
> 
> please enjoy this chapter!~ 💖

“Yong!” Jaehyun hollered, waving his arm widely overhead the moment his friend stepped through the swinging glass door of the diner.

“There’s like, three people in here.” Taeyong rolled his eyes, sleepily trudging toward the booth where the other was sitting. “You didn’t have to yell.”

“Yeah, well you had me sitting here, waiting for you forever like a dick in a yard.” Jaehyun whined as his friend slid into the space across from him.

“Uh, I would’ve been here sooner if you didn’t call me four times while I was _trying_ to get dressed and leave the apartment,” Taeyong grumbled.

Jaehyun held out his hands in front of him.

“Alright, enough,” he snapped. “I don’t want to bicker about bullshit for once.”

“That’s a first.”

“Oh my god.” Jaehyun pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dude, I’m actually having a crisis right now.”

Taeyong blinked at him. “Yeah. I kind of gathered that from your _multiple_ ‘9-1-1 emergency’ texts. What’s going on? You seemed fine last night – or at least that’s what I remember… You did call me, right? I didn’t just dream that? I know I definitely dreamed that my sister had no face, and that was extremely unpleasant for me—”

“Jesus, Taeyong. Yes, I called you last night because I stayed over at Johnny’s, which is obviously why I wasn’t in the apartment this morning,” Jaehyun explained, already exasperated. “We need to get you some coffee or something so you can get it together because this is serious.”

Thankfully, the waitress was shuffling over to their table already, a large platter in her hand. 

“Smothered breakfast burrito with extra home fries and a side of bacon,” she announced, setting the dish down in front of Jaehyun.

Taeyong’s lips pulled into an unamused line. “You couldn’t even wait for me, huh?”

“I have a pregnancy pass. I’m eating for two now,” Jaehyun said, grabbing a knife and fork. “Also I didn’t feel like it.” 

The waitress was largely unphased by the personal nature of their conversation as she turned to Taeyong. “Can I get you anything?”

Taeyong’s eyes slid across the table. “Are you paying?”

“Yeah, whatever, fine,” Jaehyun said impatiently.

“Chocolate chip pancakes with a scoop of chocolate ice cream, please,” Taeyong beamed. He didn’t even have to think about it. It was his usual order.

“Oh, and a coffee for him as well, thanks,” Jaehyun added. “And actually, another for me, too.”

Taeyong’s brows knit together. “Whoa, uh… You know you’re not supposed to be drinking that, right? Along with any other caffeine?”

Jaehyun paused with a particular drippy bite of burrito halfway to his mouth. He stared down at the well-worn mug in front of him, from which he’d already drained one cup of coffee while he was waiting.

“Shit.”

“So, just the one coffee then?” The tired waitress asked.

“I guess,” Jaehyun pouted.

Taeyong shook his head, clicking his tongue in disappointment as their server strolled off toward the kitchen.

“Shut it. I just forgot, okay?” Jaehyun bit. “I have more important problems right now, Yong.”

“Right, so what happened?” Taeyong asked, folding his arms together on the tabletop. “I’m assuming you wouldn’t have stayed the night if it all went tits up, so— Wait, did you chicken out and not tell him at all?”

“No, no, I definitely told him,” Jaehyun said, deep-throating a bacon strip. “But—”

“Oooh, did you wait until the morning and he was really pissed about the whole thing?” Taeyong asked, reaching across the table to steal a chunk of potato from his friend’s plate, only to have his hand swatted away.

“No,” Jaehyun groaned. “It’s so much worse…”

Taeyong pushed his mug forward as the waitress came by with the coffee pot, lazily filling his cup. “Ah, did he finally wise up and realize what a bastard you are? It was bound to happen.”

Jaehyun dropped his cutlery onto his plate in annoyance. 

“No, and for fuck’s sake, are you going to let me talk, or are you going to sit there and keep guessing like a dickhead?”

Taeyong sniffed as he ripped open three sugar packets and dumped them into his coffee.

“Bro, you should really consider learning to modulate your language if you’re going to be a father.” 

Jaehyun hung his head, letting out a long, hearty exhale from the depths of his tired soul. He had already been waiting for what felt like an entire lifetime to talk to his best friend about his issues, but Taeyong had a very specific superpower for finding each and every way to derail him.

“I seriously need to get better friends,” he grumbled, shaking his head. But he didn’t have time to find a new friend to tell his worries to – so thankfully, Taeyong only shrugged, evidently unbothered.

“I think I’m exactly the kind of friend you deserve,” the other smirked. “So, go on. Share your troubles with good ol’ Taeyongie.”

“Right, so anyway,” Jaehyun started, recognizing this as his best chance to actually spit out his news. But then he paused, biting his lip. “Ah, it’s so embarrassing…”

“Can’t be any worse than that time you got wasted and broke into one of our neighbor’s trucks just to piss in it.”

Jaehyun’s face twisted in disgust.

“First of all, I’m 100% _not_ embarrassed about that. They deserved it for stealing my parking space. And second of all, it’s—” He sat forward, voice lowering to an aggressive whisper. “It’s about my _feelings_.”

The waitress returned, sliding a wide plate in front of Taeyong. Jaehyun pursed his lips in frustration as he waited for her to wander off again.

“So, what about your feelings?” Taeyong hummed as he carved his spoon into the dome of ice cream quickly melting over his pancakes.

“I’m _having_ _them_ again.”

“What?” 

“ _Feelings_ ,” Jaehyun whisper-hissed. 

“Okay, and?”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “ _And_ it’s ridiculous. It’s weird! What am I, some kind of starry-eyed little boy?”

Taeyong blinked at him.

“Are— Are you trying to say that, before now, you were not… experiencing feelings anymore?”

Jaehyun sat back, sighing as he came into contact with the leathery cushion of the booth. Clearly, he would have to re-calibrate himself for this conversation.

“No, I mean… I guess I have feelings – but only like when I see a puppy or if I find five dollars in my pocket,” Jaehyun said. “But I’m talking about _other_ feelings. Like in a gay way.”

“Well, you’re pretty damn gay, so…” Taeyong managed, through a mouth so full of pancake that his cheeks were puffing out like a chipmunk. 

“You know what I mean, Taeyong,” Jaehyun groaned. Why the fuck was it so hard to articulate his thoughts all of a sudden? “Like, soft feelings… _Romantic_ feelings.”

Taeyong swallowed his food down, lower lip jutting out as his massive eyes somehow became even larger.

“Aww! Is my little, emotionally-stunted Jaehyunnie finally growing up?” Taeyong cooed, reaching across the table to pinch the other’s cheek.

“Please take this seriously,” Jaehyun grimaced, swatting his friend away for the second time this morning.

“For god’s sake.” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “So what? Jesus, is this really why your panties are in such a twist today? Because you have a crush on your booty call?”

“He’s not just my booty call anymore though – he’s the father of this little thing growing inside of me,” Jaehyun pouted, pointing down at his gut. “And I think it’s affecting my judgment.”

“How so?” Taeyong asked, reaching for the syrup – because apparently there wasn’t enough sugar on his plate already.

“Well, for one thing, it has me thinking of actually keeping the lemon.”

“Um… the what?”

“Oh, right. So, we started calling this thing a ‘lemon.’ Because you know the saying, ‘when life gives you lemons…’ Johnny came up with it,” Jaehyun smiled shyly to himself, poking his fork at a clump of crispy diced potatoes on his plate. “It was really cute, actually…”

Taeyong stared across the table, watching the peachy blush that began coloring his friend’s cheeks. In all the years he had known Jaehyun, he couldn’t recall seeing such an innocent, sincere show of affection. It was actually a little disorienting to witness.

“Alright, that’s it,” Taeyong said firmly. “We need to get to the bottom of this. Tell me everything that happened last night.”

Jaehyun took a deep breath before recounting everything from the previous evening with Johnny, as well as from this morning – sparing none of the dirty details, no matter how much Taeyong begged him to. 

By the time he was finished, their plates were practically licked clean and pushed aside.

“Wow… So, you really _do_ have it bad,” Taeyong said, almost solemnly as he clutched his mug between his hands.

Jaehyun pushed a hand through his hair. “Tell me about it.” 

“But who could blame you?” Taeyong continued. “I mean, if I met a guy that supportive and understanding… _Whew!_ There would be literally nothing you could do to _stop_ me from having his babies.”

“Yeah, but should people like us be having babies?”

“What do you mean by ‘people like us?’”

“Idiots, Taeyong. I mean idiots,” Jaehyun clarified. 

Taeyong scoffed. “Speak for yourself.” 

“Whatever. I’m a long way from having my shit together. I probably shouldn’t be bringing a life into the world right now, don’t you agree?”

While Jaehyun was scraping for every last reason why he should ignore the growing instincts that were steadily convincing him to reproduce, the waitress dropped the bill at the table.

“Well, maybe this would _force_ you to get your shit together,” Taeyong countered. “And, I don’t know, I think it could be cool.”

“‘Cool?!’”

“Why not?” Taeyong shrugged. “You could be a fun, hot, young dad, you know?”

“Oh, shit. You’re right. I would _definitely_ be a DILF,” Jaehyun gasped. That was definitely a point that he hadn't considered yet. “So would Johnny. Like, big time.”

Jaehyun’s mouth watered at the thought, eyes glazing over as he imagined how weirdly sexy the elder would look being all kinds of domestic with a tiny little bub in his arms. He’s never wanted that before, but now that it was a possibility, he had to admit it was a thought that had his pants tightening.

“Exactly,” Taeyong hummed. “And if this guy is as marvelous as you make him out to be, I’m sure you two could figure out the whole parenting thing.”

Jaehyun sighed as he scooted himself out of the booth, yanked his wallet out of his jeans, and left cash on the table. He never really _loved_ it when Taeyong made so much sense. Plus the thought of raising a baby with Johnny had all those crazy feelings creeping up again. “Yeah…”

Taeyong shimmied his tiny ass across the bench and followed closely behind as they made their way toward the door.

“So if you’re actually considering having this baby, does that mean I get to meet this ‘god among men’ now?”

Jaehyun hid the chill that ran down his spine with a violently sarcastic snort. “Maybe when you stop being so embarrassing to me.”

“So… never?”

“Yup.”

Taeyong chuckled and they began to part ways towards their own cars. It didn’t stop him from shouting across the parking lot. “God, I can’t believe you get to have everything I want. Maybe I should be more of a slut like you.”

“As if you have the stomach for it,” Jaehyun scoffed. “And anyway I would happily trade my situation for yours. I’d rather have zero complications.” 

“Ha! Better than nothing!” Taeyong sang, hopping into his car and slamming the door before the other could respond.

Jaehyun pouted before climbing into the driver’s seat of his Jeep. 

_Maybe he’s right…_ Jaehyun shuddered at the thought.

As if on autopilot, he started his car to head back to the apartment where he would meet up with Taeyong again. 

He was thankful for that. He didn’t really want to be alone with his thoughts at the moment. There was still a lot he was trying to process and it felt like he would get swallowed up in the maelstrom of long pent-up emotions that were finally breaking free if he allowed his thoughts to become untethered.

There were things he had to take care of. He couldn’t necessarily afford a day of comatose wallowing.

 _First things first,_ he thought as he skirted out of the parking lot. _Doctor’s appointment._

///

“…So, after leaving Cloud Bar we were supposed to meet some folks at that new club in Midtown for like, a group hang thing. But, on the way we ended up at this little dive on 4th Street. I don’t remember the name. Something like, ironic but not really. You know what I mean?” Donghyuck paused briefly for effect, but didn’t wait for an actual response. “Anyway, there’s a little pizza place next to it. It’s basically just a window you order at.”

“Yeah, a literal hole-in-the-wall,” Mark added.

“And holy shit – they have the _best_ pizza in the city, I swear. Hands down.”

“It was _crazy_ ,” Mark said, stars in his eyes at the memory. “So fucking good.”

“I mean, I’ve probably walked by it a dozen times without even noticing it,” Donghyuck chimed in. “Jae, you have to try it, like, ASAP.”

“Uh, I have tried it. And it’s not the best pizza – you guys were just drunk,” Jaehyun said. 

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Yeah, so anyway, then we left that place after hoovering, like, three slices each,” Mark continued. 

“And that’s when this fool over here,” Donghyuck said, laughter already chopping up the flow of his words as he pointed across the bartop at his boyfriend. “Doesn’t see this gigantic crack in the sidewalk, trips, and tumbles head over heels like a total dildo.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” Mark pouted. “But yeah, I ate concrete pretty hard.”

Donghyuck brushed his boyfriend off, giggling. “Jae, when I tell you it was so fucking hilarious… I almost puked from laughing so hard.”

“Hyuck, you _did_ puke.”

“Oh, shit,” Donghyuck laughed. “I thought I imagined that.”

Nausea swirled in Jaehyun’s stomach. “Can you stop talking about vomit?”

If the two heard him, they chose to completely ignore him. Instead, Mark puffed out a laugh. “Uh, no. Why did you think I wouldn’t kiss you the whole time we were at Visions?”

“I don’t know. I just thought you couldn’t see me,” Hyuck said.

“Yeah, it was crazy dark in there,” Mark conceded. “And was it just me, or did that entire place have a very strange smell?”

Donghyuck wrinkled his nose. “No, I remember that. It was disgusting. Like… boiled cabbage.”

“That was it!” Mark snapped his fingers. “With a touch of tarragon.”

Donghyuck’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “How the fuck do you just _know_ what tarragon smells like?”

“I don’t know. I just know what a lot of herbs smell like,” Mark shrugged. “Tarragon, basil, oregano…”

Jaehyun groaned and clutched at his gurgling stomach. He felt like he could _taste_ the strong, smelly herbs all co-mingling in the back of his throat and he nearly gagged.

“Are you okay?” Mark asked, his eyebrow arching in question.

“No,” Jaehyun said matter-of-factly.

“What’s wrong?”

“You guys are making me sick,” Jaehyun grimaced.

“We’re just telling you a story,” Donghyuck huffed. “ _You’re_ the one who asked if my nose ring was real or not.”

“Did I?” Jaehyun gawked. They had been recounting all this random shit for so long, he couldn’t remember where it started. “Well, anyway I still have no idea what the hell the answer is, because you two idiots have been rambling about god knows what for, like, forty-five minutes now.”

Needless to say, it was a slow night at the bar. Deathly slow. Painful. So painful, that Jaehyun was essentially forced to interact with his younger co-worker and his weird boyfriend. 

“Well, we were getting to the point,” Donghyuck said. “You have to know the context.”

Mark’s lower lip jutted out as he lifted his pint glass, draining the last gulp of lager. “Plus, it was a good story.”

“No, it really wasn’t,” Jaehyun countered. At least his nausea started to subside a little now.

Donghyuck sneered at him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Seriously, who pissed in your Cocoa Puffs? Are you still mad that I said you were bloated? Because that was, like, two weeks ago. God, you’re so vain…”

Jaehyun tossed his towel aside and rubbed his forehead. He had actually completely forgotten his last conversation with Donghyuck – as he usually did the moment the younger stopped talking. 

“Look, I have a lot on my mind, okay?” 

“Oh yeah?” Donghyuck asked, pulling another pint for his boyfriend. “Like what?” 

Jaehyun didn’t have to look to know that Hyuck’s eyes were no-doubt glittering at the mere idea of gossip. Even Mark sat up a little straighter against his barstool in anticipation.

But no, Jaehyun was absolutely not about to spill his guts to these idiots.

“Like none of your business.”

“Jae, why don’t you just go home if you’re stressed out or whatever,” Donghyuck offered before reaching across and digging his fingers into the bowl of pretzels on the bartop. “It’s dead in here. I can manage on my own.”

Donghyuck was right. Jaehyun actually could’ve left sooner, but he was hoping that working would take his mind off of the nerves that were buzzing beneath his skin. But frankly, it wasn’t worth having to listen to this all night. He could feel his precious few brain cells abandoning him one by one. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said. 

“Great. More tips for me,” Donghyuck sang cheekily. 

Jaehyun didn’t really care. After he finished clearing up his station, he ducked into the backroom to grab his jacket and clock out. He pulled the denim around his shoulders before trudging out toward the door.

“Bye,” Mark called out to him as he passed by. “Hope you’re okay, man.”

“Yeah, same,” Donghyuck added. 

For the first time all night, Jaehyun felt his jaw unclench for a moment at the sudden (but relatively insignificant) sentiment – but it quickly re-clenched at the acknowledgement of his own growing softness, even towards these two goons. He was still having a hard time wrangling all these new and uncontrollable feelings that were eking out from behind his long-standing walls.

He tried not to think about it too much as he made his way home.

It was a Thursday night, almost two entire weeks since he told Johnny that he was pregnant – and almost two entire weeks since he became totally confused about what he wanted to do about this situation. And tomorrow, he would have his first doctor’s appointment – which Johnny would accompany him to.

He wouldn’t say he was necessarily ‘freaking out’ yet but he was certainly approaching that point – which is probably why he was having such a hard time turning his brain off by the time he was back at his apartment and settling into bed. So Jaehyun scooted beneath his covers with his phone in hand, figuring that maybe a quick google of what to expect at the first prenatal appointment would quiet his nerves. 

Every website seemed to outline the same kind of process – a general health check-up, another pregnancy test for confirmation, and basically a lot of conversation. There would also be a pelvic exam, which had Jaehyun’s nose scrunching up. 

He typically didn’t mind it – Jaehyun was a seasoned veteran when it came to lying on his back as fingers prodded inside of him – but there was something a bit unsettling about the idea of Johnny hovering by his side throughout the process. The thought of that just felt… unsettling. Or maybe it was this whole thing. Maybe the reality of his situation was starting to get on top of him a little bit.

“This was a mistake…” he whispered to himself as he navigated to his texts.

He wanted to call it off, to tell Johnny he was fine going by himself and not to worry – but just as he was about to open their conversation, his phone buzzed with the arrival of a new message.

**[Hey Jae, thanks again for letting me come to this appt with you. It means a lot. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow~]**

Jaehyun’s chest tightened, thumbs hovering over his keyboard. He knew Johnny just wanted to support him. He knew this was important to him, too. And for that reason, he just couldn’t bring himself to cancel – no matter how strange or awkward or downright uncomfortable it would inevitably be.

That’s how he ended up with his hands shoved into his pockets, squinting against the morning light as he strode through the parking lot towards the medical facility the next day. He could already see Johnny waiting, pacing by the pair of tinted glass doors with his phone pressed to his ear. He was all suited up and Jaehyun was sure he just came from work.

The elder caught Jaehyun strolling toward him just as he was turning on his heels, eyes lighting up.

“Hey, let me call you back later, alright?” Johnny said before pulling his phone away from his ear and tucking it away. He reached out, hand settling against Jaehyun’s hip as he approached. “Hey, Jae. Good to see you.”

Johnny leaned forward, pecking the younger’s cheek, which immediately flared with pink from the spot. Was Johnny _allowed_ to do that? Sure, they’d greeted each other like this before, but that was different. This was in _public_ . They had no precedent for such behavior. It’s not like they were dating or anything – they were just _casually_ fucking each other and Jaehyun was _casually_ carrying his baby. 

_Can you ‘casually’ carry someone’s baby?_ Jaehyun wondered to himself, before swiftly shaking the thought out of his head.

“S-sorry,” Johnny murmured, chuckling sheepishly. “I guess it’s just a habit.”

Jaehyun swallowed thickly. “Yeah, no, it’s alright… It’s cool…” 

Great. It was already so weird. Jaehyun just didn’t know how to act with Johnny outside of a sexual context. Why did the learning curve feel so steep?

“How are you, um, feeling?”

Jaehyun looked up, noting the look of concern in Johnny’s brown eyes. They were so soft and warm, like two cinnamon rolls. It was so disarming.

“Really kind of nervous, actually,” Jaehyun admitted, turning to the side to see a happy couple strolling in through the doors of the building beside him. 

“It’s okay. That’s why I’m here,” Johnny smiled softly. 

“Easy for you to say,” Jaehyun pouted, grinding the toe of his sneaker into the concrete. “You’re not the one about to get tested and quizzed and poked and prodded…”

“Well, you got me there, but hey,” Johnny said, pausing to tilt the younger’s chin up towards him. “It’ll be fine, I promise. We’ll get through it together, alright?” 

Jaehyun’s knees went a little wobbly. Why did Johnny have to look at him with such sincerity? How was he meant to respond to that?!

Thankfully, the elder didn’t seem to mind his silence.

“Come on, let’s go inside, hm?”

Jaehyun let Johnny pull the door open for him and stepped over the threshold. 

It wasn’t a long wait. In fact, Jaehyun was almost scrambling to finish up his paperwork when the nurse called them back to an exam room. Jaehyun’s spine stiffened with each step across the floor, but having Johnny’s hand settled against the small of his back eased his tension as they made their way down the hall.

They were guided into a small room, where the nurse quickly checked Jaehyun’s height and weight before dismissing them to sit.

“You can hop right up here for now,” she said, directing Jaehyun to the elevated examination table in the small space. She turned to Johnny, who lingered by Jaehyun’s side, and smiled. “You can have a seat there, if you’d like. We’re just going to check his vitals first.”

“Oh, yeah… Sure,” Johnny mumbled.

He slouched out of his suit jacket and folded it over his forearm before shuffling to the side and settling into a small chair in the corner. Jaehyun sucked his lip between his teeth to keep from visibly frowning. He did not care for the stress that was bubbling up in his gut when Johnny left his side.

“Just relax,” the nurse said gently, eyes flashing down to where Jaehyun was tapping his fingers anxiously against his knee. “I’m just going to take your blood pressure.” 

Jaehyun did his best to calm himself down through the process and then the battery of health questions that followed in rapid succession. Luckily, the nurse fired right through them so quickly that Jaehyun didn’t have a lot of time to think about how nervous he was anymore.

“Okay. We’re all done with that,” the nurse announced, standing from her stool in front of the computer. She grabbed a tiny plastic jar off of the counter and held it out to Jaehyun. “We need a quick urine sample to verify the pregnancy. Then the doctor will be in to see you shortly.”

Jaehyun did as he was told, because the nurse didn’t leave much room for questions as she ushered him toward the bathroom down the hall. A few minutes later, he was stepping back into the exam room where Johnny was waiting.

“All good?” The elder asked, chin propped up on the heel of his palm.

Jaehyun huffed out a laugh as he climbed back into his spot. “Yeah, I know how to pee in a cup, so…”

“Right…”

The ticking of the clock on the wall quickly grew a bit deafening as it filled the silence between them. It was unavoidable. Honestly, this could never be normal or comfortable or natural. There was simply no guidebook for how to deal with a situation like this, where you’re sitting in a prenatal appointment for the baby you’re potentially having with your dick appointment, whom you barely know.

He didn’t know exactly how long they were waiting, but it felt like an entire decade might have passed unchecked before Jaehyun’s eyes.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Bae. You must be Jaehyun,” she smiled as she breezed into the room, setting down her clipboard and extending her hand toward him. “So nice to meet you.”

Jaehyun eyed her small hand, questioning if she really delivered babies with such petite appendages, but once he took it, he was pleasantly surprised at the firm and steady grip.

She turned toward Johnny, who had all but jumped out of his seat at her entrance. “And you must be…”

“Johnny,” he announced back at her, reaching for her hand. “I, um— I’m the father.”

She nodded in understanding, her grin unfaltering as she took her place in the seat where the nurse had been before. If she possessed even a hint of judgment, she hid it tremendously well. 

“Well, congratulations,” she beamed. “I’m happy to confirm your pregnancy. How are you feeling?”

“Kind of sick, to be honest,” Jaehyun said, before he had a chance to actually think about the words exiting his big mouth.

But it was true. This place was weird and it smelled like hand sanitizer. He was spending too much time in the daylight with his booty call, who was ironically the most familiar person in this otherwise strange environment. And he had no idea what the fuck he was doing growing a human inside his body.

How else was he supposed to feel right now?

“Oh, have you been experiencing morning sickness?” The doctor asked, perfectly sculpted brows knitting. “If you need to run to the restroom, by all means…”

Jaehyun shook his head, his mouth growing uncomfortably dry. 

“Jae?” Johnny piped up, hand resting against the younger’s shoulder.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. It’s fine,” Jaehyun breathed finally. He wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans. “I’m just kind of nervous is all…”

“That’s perfectly normal,” the doctor assured. “I’ll do my best to make this appointment as painless as possible, okay?”

Jaehyun nodded. He didn’t really trust himself to open his mouth again.

“So, first, I just want to go over a little more about your medical history…”

Johnny began to stray back to his seat, but Jaehyun caught him by his crisp cotton sleeve. The elder stutter-stepped before moving back into place beside Jaehyun without question. Johnny tentatively let his arm curl around the younger to rest against his waist, thumb brushing against the cotton of his t-shirt softly.

At this moment, Jaehyun was beyond the point of caring about _why_ he wanted Johnny to stay by his side – all he knew was that the elder’s presence felt soothing and that meant he was a necessity right now.

The doctor settled into a comfortable conversation with more in-depth questions about his medical history. Jaehyun was pretty psyched that he had the wherewithal to give Johnny a heads-up to the fact that he’d had a few bouts with chlamydia in college – so at least he could avoid any potential fall-out from that.

Beyond that, there wasn’t much to expand on. Jaehyun had never been pregnant before, nor did he have any other medical concerns to speak of at the moment.

“Well, you seem pretty healthy overall,” the doctor noted as she rose from his seat and adjusted the stethoscope around her neck. “I’m just going to take a listen to your heart.”

Johnny inched away to offer some more room but otherwise remained close. 

“So, do we happen to know how far along you are?” she asked casually, pressing the end of her instrument against Jaehyun’s chest. “Any idea in terms of dates?”

 _Shit_ , Jaehyun thought. 

“Oh, uh… Not really. Maybe like a month?”

“It’s actually more like seven weeks,” Johnny piped up. “I think.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

Could that be possible? That was almost two months. And how the hell would Johnny know?

“Yeah, I— I was curious so I went back through our texts, just to see if I could get a general idea,” Johnny explained. “Plus, I mean… That particular night was pretty memorable, Jae.”

Jaehyun’s hand flew up to gently slug Johnny in the gut, if only to detract from the blush heating his own cheeks.

“Okay. Well, I think in this case we should probably do an ultrasound,” the doctor chimed in, evidently unphased by their interaction as she jotted down some notes. “The size of the fetus will give us a better idea of the due date.”

“Oh, right… Okay,” Jaehyun hummed, looking to Johnny, who nodded fervently in agreement. 

If 26 years’ worth of mindless television consumption taught him anything, it’s how an ultrasound procedure was meant to go. This did not disappoint.

Jaehyun scooted backward until he could comfortably recline and the doctor pushed his t-shirt up, exposing his still toned stomach. 

“You’re not really showing, but that’s not uncommon at this point,” she said. “And this will be a little cold…” 

She squirted a healthy glop of chilly goo onto his skin, making Jaehyun wince, before she turned around to switch on the nearby machine.

“You alright?”

Johnny’s warm breath fanned over Jaehyun’s ear as the elder leaned closer. 

“Yeah,” Jaehyun mumbled despite the tightness in his throat. “Why?”

“Oh, it’s just… Don’t freak out, but you’re squeezing my hand _super_ hard.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened as he glanced down to their hands, perfectly molded together at his side. He didn’t even know when that happened. He certainly didn’t recall reaching for him like that. But his need for support via physical contact was stronger than his general disgust at intimacy, so… he could only bring himself to loosen his grip a little bit with a mumbled apology.

“Alright, here we go,” Dr. Bae announced, pressing the end of the ultrasound wand to Jaehyun’s lower abdomen. “Now, keep in mind, we might not be able to detect a heartbeat just yet, but we’ll try…”

The room fell quiet except for the gentle whir of the machine.

Jaehyun stared at the screen, chewing his lip and waiting for something to happen. 

“There it is,” the doctor sang. She reached up, fingertip pointing at some positively miniscule little figure that appeared in the image. “Can you see it?”

Jaehyun exhaled, not even realizing that he had been holding his breath all this time before squeaking out a quiet, “Yeah.”

“That little bean?” Johnny chuckled. “It’s so cute.”

“Oh!” The doctor exclaimed. “Hear that? That’s the heartbeat.”

The faint sound thrummed in Jaehyun’s ears, in tune with the sound of his own blood rushing through his head. A fuzzy feeling bloomed in his chest, something gentle but somehow more potent than anything he’s ever felt. Naturally, it scared the shit out of him.

“Wow…” Johnny breathed. “That’s incredible.”

“And judging by these measurements, it looks like you’re about seven weeks along after all, which gives you a due date somewhere in early December,” the doctor confirmed. “We’ll be able to get you a more specific date by the time you’re walking out of here.”

“Sounds great,” Johnny added. “Right, Jae?”

Jaehyun hummed, a little dazed. He had literally no idea what else to do at this moment. He was kind of speechless. Because, while, theoretically, he knew a baby was comfortably growing in there, seeing it displayed in front of him now was a little intense.

“I’m just going to take a few images here before we finish up with this.”

“Great,” Jaehyun mumbled. 

He was ready for this to be done, to stop staring directly at the very real and unavoidable evidence of his pregnancy. It’s not that it was upsetting, but it was a lot to take in without having a chance to process it. 

“Alright, well…” Dr. Bae sniffed, swiveling around to check Jaehyun’s records on her computer again. “It hasn’t been that long since you’ve had a pelvic exam so I don’t think we need to do one today.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Jaehyun sighed in relief. That was one bullet dodged at least. As far as he was concerned, there was enough going on here already. 

The rest of the appointment was a bit of a blur. At this point, Jaehyun was too overwhelmed to be fully engaged and the appointment was just happening _to_ him now. The doctor spent a little more time going over what to expect in the coming weeks and Jaehyun really hoped Johnny was paying attention because his brain felt like it was going to explode already.

She gave them a packet of information, a few brochures about something or other, and even a print-out of the sonogram, which Johnny took when Jaehyun didn’t immediately reach forward to receive it. 

Dr. Bae led them out of the room and guided them back to the reception area where they could schedule their next appointment a few weeks from now. Jaehyun didn’t let go of Johnny until the elder needed both hands to get his credit card out to pay.

“Do you want to get some lunch?” Johnny asked as he held the door open for them to leave. “I know that was a lot to get through in there, so…”

“Yeah, okay. Sure,” Jaehyun murmured. 

“Where do you want to eat?”

“Anywhere with milkshakes.”

It was quiet from the time they stepped out of the building to the time Jaehyun was settled at a small table in a cafe in the building next door, with one chocolate milkshake and one strawberry milkshake in front of him.

“Are you sure that’s all you want?” Johnny asked, cocking an eyebrow from across the table.

Jaehyun leaned forward, pushed the tall, frosty glasses together, and stuck both straws in his mouth at once before taking a long sip of the thick, icy shakes. “Yup.”

Johnny picked at the small sandwich in front of him, deciding not to push it. 

“So, how are you feeling about everything?” The elder asked tentatively. “I think it went kind of well…”

“I’m still processing, but… It was really fucking weird.”

Johnny exhaled, like he had been holding his breath. “Yeah, it was definitely strange seeing our little lemon.”

“And I… I just had this crazy feeling when I heard that little heartbeat, like…” Jaehyun paused, chewing on his lip. Johnny edged closer in anticipation. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything so… _viscerally_.”

“Me too,” Johnny breathed out.

“It was terrifying.”

“Yep. Yep,” Johnny nodded slowly. “It felt a lot more real than before, right?”

“Yeah. But like, it was good,” Jaehyun added. “I think. Kind of… I don’t know…”

He stared out of the window as he swirled his straw in the pink drink mindlessly. From the corner of his eye, he was very aware of the way Johnny was watching him.

“What are you thinking, Jae?”

“I’m thinking that it’s only been seven weeks and I’m already attached to this thing,” Jaehyun said, pouting. “It feels… really stupid.”

“Well, if it _is_ stupid, then I guess we’ll have to be stupid together,” Johnny shrugged. 

Jaehyun’s hand slipped off the table and fell against his stomach. The black and white image of the jelly bean in his gut was branded on his brain. It was his little lemon and it was a part of him. 

He had no business becoming a father. He wasn’t a qualified adult by any stretch of the imagination and his lifestyle was not currently “baby-proofed.” He knew it was against his better judgment, but there was such a strong nagging feeling that had him distressed at the thought of letting his lemon go. 

“Jae, I said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m here for you, whatever you decide,” Johnny declared.

A lot of emotions were pouring out into Jaehyun’s gut like a waterfall he had no control over. His stomach churned beneath his palm.

“I feel sick.”

“I know, there’s a lot going on right now,” Johnny cooed, hand reaching out in comfort. “It’s okay.”

Jaehyun groaned, chair screeching as he backed away from the table. “No, I mean _literally_ sick this time.”

He practically jogged to the bathroom, barely making it in time to regurgitate the still-cold chocolate and strawberry slush into the toilet. When he was sure he was done, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and got rid of the evidence before washing up at the sink. It was… gross. He couldn’t remember the last time he did that while sober and now he just wanted to get home and drink a gallon of mouthwash.

He swung the door open and almost walked directly into the wall that was Johnny’s broad shoulders. “Whoa.”

“Hey,” Johnny said as he spun around on his heels, holding out a glass of water for him. “Are you okay?”

Jaehyun gulped down a big swig right away. It burned going down his sensitive throat, but the result was soothing.

“Yeah, thanks,” he murmured, frowning. “Guess I can look forward to more of that…”

“So… does that mean you want to do this?”

By some ridiculous and inexplicable twist of fate, Jaehyun _did_ want to do this. But—

“It’s a huge commitment,” Jaehyun said, after a moment of simply staring at the tiles underfoot instead of at the man before him. “I’m really fucking scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared. I’m _definitely_ scared,” the elder said softly. “But, for what it’s worth, I…”

Jaehyun tilted his head up when he trailed off. 

Now Johnny was the one staring at his shoes, lips pulled together into a line like he wasn’t sure if he should continue his train of thought. Jaehyun didn’t have much experience in how to comfort someone (it was rarely an impulse he experienced), so his sudden desire to reach out and brush his arm or touch his cheek genuinely surprised him.

Still, he tempered himself.

“You what, Johnny?”

The elder pushed a hand through his hair but didn’t look up. Jaehyun couldn’t recall seeing Johnny look quite so vulnerable and nervous before. 

“I didn’t want to say anything because I don’t want to influence your decision or pressure you in any way,” Johnny started quietly. “But I… I kind of really want to have this baby. With you.”

Jaehyun’s lips parted in shock. He knew it was possible that the elder might feel that way but he had thought that, if anything, he was only supporting him through this out of a sense of responsibility.

“I know you probably think it’s insane – and I’ll agree that it’s not the most ideal situation,” Johnny continued, after a deep breath to collect his composure and finally straightening himself up to face the other directly. “But I don’t care. I know what I want – and I want our lemon.”

“Oh… wow…” Jaehyun didn’t know what else to say. 

“Look, I don’t want you to make this decision based on what _I_ want. Ultimately, this needs to be up to you,” he said, voice growing quiet and gentle again, creating a little bubble around just the two of them. “But I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t suspect that there was a _tiny_ chance that you might feel the same way. So if you want to do this, then… I’m in. All the way, Jae.”

Jaehyun’s heart thumped in his ears. On some level, he was well aware that the venue for this kind of conversation was probably not in this very public place just a few feet in front of the restrooms in this cafe. But it was a little late to pump the brakes now, so here they were face to face.

“And if I didn’t want to? Would you be upset or mad?” Jaehyun wasn’t sure what prompted the question. Or rather, he _knew_ , but was too chickenshit to admit to himself that he cared about how Johnny would feel, and what he would think of him for making such a decision. “Would we be done?”

Johnny chuckled softly, stepping forward to close the gap between them. 

“I mean, sure, I’d probably be a little bummed out for a bit, but mad? Never. How could I be? What’s best for you is more important. Otherwise, this wouldn’t work.” He laced his hand with the younger’s. “And I’d hope you’d stay in my life either way…”

Jaehyun was sure Johnny could feel the way his pulse was racing.

“You’re really serious, aren’t you?” he asked, despite clocking the unabashed certainty of the other’s tone. 

“I am, I promise,” Johnny smiled, but there was a hint of sadness behind it. He knew that his cards were all on the table now, for better or for worse. His gaze lowered to their intertwined hands, thumb stroking the back of Jaehyun’s hand. “Anyway… I guess I just thought you should know…”

Johnny was a good man. Kind and empathetic. Caring and pretty selfless. Even a fool like Jaehyun could see that. 

He could feel his instincts taking over. Something bubbled up from his gut that felt far more unsettling than the morning sickness. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but a woman appeared by his side, shyly trying to squeeze by them to get to the bathroom. Jaehyun faltered, his nerve completely abandoning him at the interruption.

Johnny cleared his throat before his chest heaved with deep inhale as he gathered himself again. “We should probably get out of here, huh?”

The elder backed away and dropped Jaehyun’s hand as he made his way back to their table. They hastily wrapped up their lunch and Johnny paid their bill. Jaehyun left his milkshakes behind, having lost his appetite for them.

They walked back through the parking lot without much conversation until they were parting ways.

“Thanks for coming to this with me,” Jaehyun said. “And for paying and stuff…”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m really glad you let me,” Johnny hummed. “And Jae, um… Don’t worry too much about what I said back there, okay?”

“Oh, right, yeah…” Jaehyun said, despite knowing very well that he would indeed be worrying about it for the foreseeable future. 

Johnny lifted his arm and pushed back his sleeve to check his watch. 

“Ah, I should probably get back to work now,” he announced. “But hopefully I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun breathed out pathetically. “Just text me or whatever…”

“Alright, well, hope you feel better. Let me know if you need anything.” Johnny curled his arm around Jaehyun’s waist and leaned in for a lukewarm half-hug. “Bye, Jae.”

He didn’t linger, turning quickly towards his car and leaving Jaehyun behind to kick the hell out of himself all alone.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please PLEASE leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! the more comments, the quicker i get the updates done!! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)


	6. lean into it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As disgustingly cheesy and cliche as it was, Jaehyun guessed there was something to be said for listening to his irrational instincts and following his stupid heart.
> 
> _Ugh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whewwww ok so first of all, thank you so much for all of your patience because it took me a weirdly long time to piece this chapter together dflkgjhdfgkl but it's here now!! better late than never 🤪
> 
> please enjoy!~ 🍋💖

“Oh, Johnny, you’ve got the Kang listing right?”

Johnny glanced up, eyes sliding away from the computer monitor and finding his co-worker a few feet away. 

“The what?”

“The Kang listing,” his co-worker reiterated. “Dutch colonial, extended porch, burgundy shutters that are just…”

His co-worker’s face twisted up in disgust and it made Johnny smile for the first time that afternoon.

“Ah, right. Yep, that’s mine,” Johnny hummed. “Why?”

“I guess I must’ve picked up some of your paperwork from the fax machine earlier and I just noticed…”

His co-worker pushed away from his desk with a huff, the chair straining beneath him as he did. Johnny himself moved to stand.

“Oh, no, Jungwoo, let me—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Jungwoo chuckled, after a labored effort to rise out of his desk chair. “I was actually about to get up to go get a snack anyway. I heard there were some cupcakes left in the conference room…”

He waddled over towards Johnny’s desk, one hand holding a stack of papers while the other was clutched comfortably beneath the wide swell of his baby bump. He stopped in front of Johnny’s desk, blowing out a sigh that had his blonde bangs puffing up off his forehead.

“Here you go,” Jungwoo said happily, holding out the papers. “Can’t believe I just noticed it. It’s sitting on my desk for hours. Must be the baby brain…”

The other lumbered away out of the workspace and down the hall, mumbling something to himself about deciding between vanilla or chocolate, while Johnny took a cursory look at the pages. After a moment, he ended up having to put them down when his mind refused to process the words and figures properly.

His concentration had been all over the place since coming back from his lunch with Jaehyun today. He could barely think straight, too worried about the potential consequences of what he admitted so brazenly and without forethought.

He was glad to get it out in the open – to let Jaehyun know how he really felt about having a baby. At least the strain of biting his tongue on the matter was gone – at least Jaehyun knew where he stood.

But the more he replayed it in his head, the more the other’s lack of a response had Johnny feeling nervous. 

There was no going back now that he’s made known his desire to have this baby together. All he could do was hope that Jaehyun might feel the same – hope that he isn’t completely terrified by the frankly terrifying venture they might embark on together.

It was a lot to fret over. So he wasn’t really paying attention when Jungwoo came moseying back, half of a chocolate cupcake in his hand and half of it in his mouth as he stopped in front of Johnny’s desk.

Jungwoo got bored and liked to chat. Honestly, he was fast-approaching his paternity leave so he was basically just running down the clock on his time left at work these days. 

“Went with the chocolate, huh?” Johnny asked, still staring rather blankly at his computer screen.

Jungwoo hummed, taking another bite before resting a hand on his big belly.

“Apparently it’s what the baby wanted.”

It was easy to humor Jungwoo’s habit nowadays at least, with his baby bump offering plenty to discuss.

“Getting to be about time…” Johnny observed.

“Yeah, just over a month left to go,” Jungwoo nodded, peeking somewhat nosily around the other’s desk. “I’m kind of ready for it to be over now though. My back hurts, my ankles are swollen, I’m tired all the time, I’m _hungry_ all the time… Ugh.”

Johnny hummed. 

Then something interesting must’ve caught Jungwoo’s eye because he reached down, plucking at the corner of a glossy brochure buried beneath a stack of papers.

Jungwoo gasped, nearly choking on his cupcake before swallowing it painfully down.

“Are you pregnant?!” He squeaked.

Johnny looked up nervously, eyes wide and cheeks turning red. Shit. Jungwoo had spotted the pile of papers he had been given at the doctor’s office earlier. Johnny shouldn’t even have those – _Jaehyun_ should – but in all the emotional turmoil of his afternoon, he had forgotten to hand them over before they parted. And Johnny only brought them up to his office so they wouldn’t get sucked into the black hole that was the floor of his car.

“What?! Jungwoo, no, oh my god!” He whisper-screamed.

“This is a prenatal care brochure.” Jungwoo waved the evidence in front of his co-worker, who naturally tried to snatch it away. Jungwoo dodged him, eyes glittering in delight. “Aww, we’re pregnant together!”

“Woo, I am _not_ pregnant,” Johnny said lowly through gritted teeth. “So for god’s sake, _please_ stop shouting about it.”

“Well you’re not pregnant but _somebody_ is…” Jungwoo hummed casually, the edge of his lip curling into a smirk. Why did he have to love gossip so much? “Who’s the lucky person?”

Johnny sighed, hands on his hips as he hung his head. He might as well just go limp and let Jungwoo have his way with him and his personal life. He knew his co-worker could be like a dog with a bone when it came to these kinds of things.

He plunked down in his seat, Jungwoo leaning closer over his desk in anticipation.

“It’s my—” Johnny paused to mull over the right word. Jaehyun wasn’t his boyfriend – he’d made that pretty clear. But would it be appropriate to actually use the term ‘fuck buddy’ in the office? He doubted it. “Friend.”

Jungwoo reeled back, that heady glow in his cheeks fading away into a disappointed frown. “Oh.”

Johnny’s brows pinched together at that reaction. “Huh?”

“Well, I mean… I thought it was like, someone you’re _dating_ ,” Jungwoo shrugged, tossing the brochure back onto his desk. “If it’s really just a friend, then… not very interesting.”

For some reason that Johnny could not explain, he felt affronted. His life was interesting. In fact, his life was a little _too_ interesting at the moment.

“Well, it’s not just my friend, it’s my, um—” he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “Well, it’s my booty call.”

Jungwoo’s lips parted, but nothing came out – but his eyes blinked rapidly and Johnny honestly thought he might’ve been short-circuiting for a moment. But he shook himself loose, face lighting up like a christmas tree. 

“Johnny Suh, you dirty dog!” Jungwoo squealed. “You have a booty call?! I wouldn’t have guessed you had it in you!”

“Okay, okay, alright,” Johnny rolled his eyes in feigned exasperation, though there was little he could do to hide the prideful blush filling his cheeks. He never expected that that fact would give him some kind of street credit around here and somehow, that felt weirdly fulfilling.

“Oh my god, this is so exciting! Is there drama? I bet there’s drama,” Jungwoo gasped, eyes wide like sinkholes. “Please please _please_ give me all the details. My life is _so_ boring – I am desperate for a little intrigue.”

Johnny gawked back at him. “Woo, you just bought your first house a couple months ago; you’re engaged to the love of your life – those are your words – and you’re literally about to pop and have a baby. How is your life _possibly_ boring?”

It was true. Jungwoo seemed to have it all sorted out, despite being a good few years younger than Johnny. In fact, Johnny was honestly kind of jealous of it all. 

“Yeah, but my fiancé is just, you know, my boyfriend since high school or whatever,” Jungwoo dismissed with a wave of his hand. “And everything’s all ready for the baby at the house and stuff. There’s literally, like, nothing else left to do. I need to fill my time with hot gossip so I can forget about the fact that I’m a literal planet right now! And to be honest, I could use some more cupcakes, too. The baby may have wanted chocolate but I think I’m craving vanilla now…”

Before Johnny could say no, he was forcibly dragged to the break room (after a quick stop by the conference room for the rest of the sweets) by Jungwoo and his freakish pregnancy strength. The two plopped down at a table near the back and peeled back the wrappers on a couple of chocolate-frosted cupcakes.

Johnny didn’t know what specifically compelled him to spill everything to Jungwoo. They were chummy at work due to the sheer proximity of their workspaces, and Jungwoo was certainly a laugh, but their relationship never delved much further than that – at least not on Johnny’s end. Jungwoo was more of an open book – and maybe it was the fact that he was pregnant too, and that made him a sympathetic listener to Johnny’s troubles.

Whatever the reason, he was now spending the better part of the next hour outlining in detail the whirlwind that has been his life for the last couple of months.

“Wow,” Jungwoo breathed, licking a smear of frosting off his thumb. “You know, I could tell something’s been going on with you. This baby has given me some kind of sixth sense, you know.”

Johnny only hummed, having no idea how to respond to that.

“But god, that’s all so romantic,” Jungwoo sighed dreamily. “And _dramatic!_ I love it! So what are you going to do?”

Johnny sucked in a deep breath for a long exhale, only to punctuate it all with a shrug.

“What _can_ I do?” He asked. “I just have to wait. Honestly, the ball is in his court now.”

Jungwoo rolled his eyes. 

“I cannot wait for society to move past the need for sports metaphors,” he grumbled, stuffing the rest of his fourth cupcake in his face. “But anyway, you should at least give this Jaehyun guy all this stuff from the doctor’s office. If you guys have this baby, he’s going to need it.”

“Yeah… that’s true,” Johnny nodded, absentmindedly flicking a stray sprinkle across the tabletop. 

“For what it’s worth,” Jungwoo began, flipping closed the lid of the now-empty pastry box. “I personally hope things work out. I don’t have a lot of friends who are expecting or who have babies, so— Oh!”

Jungwoo grabbed his belly and Johnny sat forward, nervous at the sudden exclamation. Oh god, was Jungwoo about to go into labor or something? That simply cannot happen right now. That would be absurd.

“What? What’s wrong?” Johnny asked, panicked.

“You guys can come to Seahorse Club!”

Johnny blinked at him, but it did nothing to dull the younger’s bright and twinkling eyes.

“Come again?”

“Seahorse Club!” Jungwoo repeated, practically bouncing in his seat. “It’s like a little support group for pregnant guys. Get it? Because boy seahorses carry the babies?”

“Oh... _oh_ ,” Johnny said, finally understanding. He hadn’t even thought of something like that, but there was a lot of value in the idea since neither he nor Jaehyun really knew what the hell they were doing. Meeting a group of other pregnant men would probably help – so he logged that in his mind for (hopefully) future use. “Well, thanks for the tip.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem!” Jungwoo smiled. His Apple watch lit up with some kind of notification, prompting him to lift it to his eyes with a grimace. “Well… I guess we should get back to work, huh?”

He huffed as he forced himself to lower his feet down from where they were propped up on an empty chair across the table and stand up.

Johnny followed suit, trailing behind his waddling friend as they made their way back to their desks. 

_Friend_ , Johnny thought, the word Jungwoo had used still echoing in his head.

He at least had a new friendship thanks to this whole situation – and a part of him hoped they would be keeping that going. 

///

After his overly eventful and enlightening afternoon, Jaehyun’s brain was a little overwhelmed with all the new information, both from the doctor and from the father of his baby. It was a lot to process – so much so that his skull felt literally packed to the gills with all the thoughts he had crammed in there.

Normally, his go-to solution for dire times like this was simple: a good, cleansing nut-bust followed by a comforting grilled cheese. But now, leaning back against the couch as his cum was rapidly drying on his fingers, he was ready to admit that for once, it wasn’t going to help his predicament. 

Also they were all out of cheese at the apartment, anyway. And bread.

So he had to turn to his back-up plan instead, cleaning up quickly and grabbing his gym bag from the floor of his closet.

Now, Jaehyun was a little nervous about the alamgation of gym smells and how it might affect his lemon-induced sensitive stomach, but what other option was there at this point? He needed to do something to clear his poor head.

That’s how he ended up on his back on the bench press towards the end of his workout, all sweated up, with his trainer friend’s balls more or less in his face as he spotted him from behind the rack. 

Jaehyun groaned his way through a particularly tough rep.

“What’s going on, bro? You seem… distracted.”

“I’m fine, Xuxi,” Jaehyun huffed, forcing the barbell up again. 

Xuxi was his gym friend. You know, like that guy you always see at the gym because your schedules coincide and you follow similar workout regimens and you start chatting to them because you think they’re kind of really hot and tall and muscly, but then you find out they’re actually already engaged so you solemnly take your L on your way to the friendzone, only to learn that hey, they’re actually a pretty sweet guy to have as an acquaintance anyway.

So yeah. A gym friend. But as it turned out, their schedules didn’t really coincide at all – Xuxi was just there all the time for work. Still, it was nice for Jaehyun to have that to count on.

“Really?” Xuxi asked again, and Jaehyun could feel the weight over him lessening as his friend intervened on the lift. “Because you've been struggling a lot and this isn’t even as much weight as usual.”

Jaehyun pursed his lips. He was lifting less because he knew he wasn’t supposed to go too overboard with exercise for the sake of the baby – but he wasn’t sure he wanted to be blurting that out right now.

He forced his way through his last rep before setting the barbell on the rack with a clang and sitting upright.

“I… I don’t know, man,” Jaehyun sighed, taking the towel Xuxi was holding out to him. “There’s been a lot going on, and shit…”

“You can talk to me, bro,” Xuxi said. “What’s up?”

“Uh…” he paused, chewing his lip. He didn’t know a terrible amount about Xuxi but he knew the important stuff – like how his fiancé was pregnant and that they had moved into a nice new starter townhouse for their cute little family and it was all precious and usually had Xuxi making his already large eyes extra googly and soft anytime anything _remotely_ domestic was mentioned. But at the same time, it might be good to talk to someone in a similar position. Jaehyun decided to tread lightly with it, though. “So… me and my, uh— _friend_ , we have this… lemon.”

“Lemon?”

“Yeah, a lemon,” Jaehyun repeated. “And it kind of just, fell into our laps. By accident.”

Xuxi cocked an eyebrow before taking a swig of his water.

“What, like, from a tree or something?”

“Yeah, sure. A lemon tree. Whatever,” Jaehyun dismissed. “And my friend wants to keep it, and I thought I didn’t want it, but now… Now I think I’m changing my mind.”

“Right… Okay…” Xuxi said tentatively. It was obvious that he was waiting for Jaehyun to make some kind of sense. 

“But I’m really freaked out,” Jaehyun continued. “I mean, I don’t even know what to do with a— a lemon. Like, how do you even care for it?”

“Well, it’s a lemon, so… I don’t think there’s much care involved,” Xuxi said, forehead creasing in confusion. “Once it’s off the tree, it’s pretty much just dying until you use it, right?”

Jaehyun could tell his friend was clearly not picking up on his metaphor – which was what he wanted at first, but now it was kind of just frustrating him.

He took a deep breath and rose from the bench, grabbing Xuxi’s elbow and dragging him a few feet away for a bit of privacy, ignoring the snarky remark from some meathead about wiping down the equipment after use. 

“Okay, look. So, I’m kind of…” Jaehyun trailed off for a moment just to double-check their surroundings. Xuxi, being as tall as a redwood, leaned down closer to hear him. “ _Pregnant_.”

Xuxi gawked before looking him up and down. “Seriously?”

Jaehyun nodded, ears going pink at his friend’s surprise.

“Whoa! That’s awesome!” Xuxi beamed, nudging Jaehyun’s shoulder with his fist as a way of congratulating him. “But… Is that what all that lemon stuff was about?” 

“Yeah…”

Xuxi clicked his tongue. 

“C’mon, man. It’s _me_. There’s no judgment between gym bros,” he said comfortingly. “But anyway, hey, I get it. It can be pretty scary having a baby on the way.”

“Terrifying, actually,” Jaehyun added. “I mean, it would be crazy for me to have this baby, wouldn’t it?”

“Not necessarily,” Xuxi shrugged. “Not if it’s what you want.”

“But – logically – I _shouldn’t_ want this? Right?”

Xuxi huffed out a laugh and unscrewed the cap of his water jug.

“Jesus, you sound like my fiancé when he’s going ‘opinion shopping,’” he chuckled. “It’s a baby, Jae. There’s more than just logic involved in a decision like this. You should listen to what your instincts are telling you, you know?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of,” Jaehyun sighed.

He chewed the inside of his cheek. He was keenly aware of how desperate he was to hear someone tell him not to do this – to give him a disapproving sneer and some heavy-handed words that might just snap him out of all this. But it seemed less and less likely that that would occur.

“What’s the situation with the dad?” Xuxi asked suddenly. 

Jaehyun swallowed thickly and thought back to his last conversation with Johnny.

“We’re not dating or anything – it’s just a casual thing,” he mumbled, wringing the small towel in his hands somewhat anxiously. “But he’s… nice. He’s a good guy. And he wants to do this.”

Clearly, there was a lot more to it than that, but geez, Jaehyun had to draw a line somewhere in this conversation. They were in the middle of the gym, for fuck’s sake – he didn’t want to spill his emotional guts all over the place here. 

Thankfully, Xuxi only hummed.

“Well hey, if the dad’s cool and he’s on board, then at least you don’t have to go through it alone,” Xuxi continued. “Plus, you’ve got me and my fiancé – I’m sure he could give you lots of advice about the pregnancy and stuff. And there’s actually this nice little support group we found that’s been really helpful!”

Jaehyun could see it – see the excitement of it all building in his friend’s eyes. Xuxi was practically buzzing with anticipation like a puppy that’s waiting for a treat.

And he had to admit, it was weirdly endearing. Since becoming aware of Xuxi’s situation, he hadn’t really considered any kind of friendship with him beyond the confines of this big sweatbox of a building. But now, he thought maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

“Yeah… Thanks, Shoosh,” he smiled up at him. “I appreciate it.”

“Of course, man. Anyway, I’m gonna go hit the treadmill for a bit – I think I’m putting on a little sympathy weight these days.” He giggled to himself before clapping his huge hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “But hey, I hope you stop worrying so much and just follow your heart. It’ll all work out.”

Xuxi gave him a squeeze and one last encouraging grin before turning towards the cardio machine section of the gym. 

After a moment or two, Jaehyun himself headed toward the locker room and packed up to leave, letting his brain marinate in his friend’s words while he gathered his things and headed home.

He jumped in the shower as soon as he got to the apartment, scrubbing off his sweat and the bit of ultrasound goo residue that was still on his stomach from earlier, before throwing on a t-shirt and some basketball shorts and collapsing freshly-washed onto his bed.

Today was weird. Life was weird. Do people really do this? Are all of these feelings normal? Maybe nothing is normal. Maybe he should just accept that fact and do what he wants to do. 

Jaehyun stared listlessly up at the ceiling, lost in thought. He hadn’t expected Xuxi to be so frighteningly insightful with such basic words, but he was beginning to think he might be right. As disgustingly cheesy and cliche as it was, Jaehyun guessed there was something to be said for listening to his irrational instincts and following his stupid heart. He should just give in, just fling himself into the water and let the current of life take him instead of fighting against it anymore.

_Ugh._

He settled his hand over his abdomen, fingers spreading out over the cotton of his t-shirt. 

_‘You should listen to what your instincts are telling you, you know?’_

His friend’s words echoed pretty aggressively around his head until Jaehyun quietly gasped out loud, all his feelings suddenly converging at once.

“Oh my god, I really want this baby, don’t I?” He breathed.

He barely had four seconds to process that before he was interrupted by his phone vibrating next to him on his bed. He shook him from his thoughts, grabbed the device, clocked Johnny’s contact name displayed on the screen, panicked for a hot second, and then hurriedly swiped to answer.

“H-hey.”

_“Hey Jae. Uh— I actually, um— All that paperwork from the doctor’s office… I still have it, so…”_

It was a little distressing to hear Johnny’s voice sounding kind of uncertain and nervous. Jaehyun didn’t like it one bit, even going as far as to pity the man on the other end of the line.

“Oh, right…” Jaehyun hummed, hoping to coax him along.

_“Yeah, so I was wondering if I could, um— drop it off for you? Just ‘cause it’s got a lot of guides and stuff for your health, and that’s important, so…”_

God, why did Johnny expressing the minimum level of care for him make Jaehyun go soft? Was the bar for men really on the floor, or were his feelings just rearing their ugly heads again like some kind of emotional Hydra. It seemed like every time he managed to get one feeling under control, two more equally terrifying ones sprung up in its place. 

That was a bridge he could cross later. For now, he just took a breath and continued. 

“Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s— that’d be cool.”

 _“Alright, I’ll swing by in a bit,”_ Johnny said, this time more confidently. _“Can you text me the address?”_

“Sure, yeah, I’ll drop a pin for you.”

_“Cool, I’ll see you in a bit.”_

He sent his location to Johnny as soon as he hung up and tossed his phone aside.

He would have to tell Johnny his decision and there was a strange sense of calm that washed over him. He knew it wasn’t what he wanted or planned on at the start of all this, but for the first time since everything kicked off almost two months ago, he felt at peace with his situation.

He touched his hand to his stomach again, smiling to himself like a fool. It was… odd but comfortable, to finally give in and let himself feel excited about this.

But his tiny moment of bliss didn’t last long, as his roommate came sauntering up to his doorway, attempting to smooth out a stubborn wrinkle in his crisp top.

“Hey, does this look adequately say ‘I might sleep with you tonight if you buy me the most expensive dessert on the menu,’ or—” Taeyong paused as he looked up, brows furrowing as he eyed Jaehyun. “Oh. Weird. What are you doing?”

Jaehyun glanced up, blinking at him before pulling his hand away from his abdomen. 

“Nothing,” he sniffed with feigned casualness. “What are _you_ doing?”

“Getting ready for my date, obviously,” Taeyong said before gesturing back to his outfit. “So anyway, thoughts?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Jaehyun shrugged. 

Taeyong pouted at the lackluster response and began complaining about the buttons or something. And at that moment, it occurred, quite jarringly, to Jaehyun that Johnny was actually now _coming_ to his apartment. For the first time. Ever.

_Shit._

There were a couple of very good reasons why he had never brought Johnny over to his place before: 1) his living space was not reflective of the life of a functional adult man, and 2) Taeyong.

The common area of the apartment wasn’t too bad at least, but Jaehyun’s bedroom was a bit of a nightmare and that would have to change, since Jaehyun was highkey hoping Johnny would be down to clown after he shares his newfound feelings about the baby. 

Jaehyun figured he probably had twenty minutes _maximum_ to throw that dirty pile of clothes on the floor into the dirty mound of laundry in the hamper; clear away the 32 half-empty water bottles from his nightstand; put the lube _and_ fleshlight away; and otherwise tidy up so it looked like a habitable space fit for a 26-year-old human. 

At least Taeyong was supposedly going out on a ‘date’ – so that problem was about to take care of itself – but Jaehyun still had to get him out of the apartment as quickly as possible first. 

He scooted himself off his bed and stepped toward his friend.

“Yeah, man, you look great,” Jaehyun cut in, grabbing Taeyong by the shoulders, swiveling him around, and leading him out into the hallway. “But you should probably get going though. Don’t want to be late, right?”

“I guess, but I mean it’s right down the street, so—” Taeyong countered, despite letting himself be guided toward the door. 

“But do you want to risk a bad first impression?”

“True…” Taeyong hummed. “Plus I can get a drink at the bar and loosen up a little first.”

“Good idea. It’ll help get rid of that inherent, uptight edge of yours.”

“Alright, _rude_ .” Taeyong rolled his eyes and finally stopped firmly in his tracks. “But okay, hang on, stop pushing me – let me get my phone and wallet and shit, _jeez_ …”

Taeyong darted back to his bedroom to gather his belongings before meeting Jaehyun at the front door again.

“Hey, how did your appointment go today, by the way?” Taeyong asked, face twisting up as he struggled to force his wallet into the pocket of his skin-tight jeans.

“It was good,” Jaehyun said hurriedly.

Taeyong cocked an eyebrow. 

“Really?”

“Well, it was weird as hell _obviously_ , but all in all, it was fine.”

That seemed to satisfy Taeyong, who simply shrugged, much to Jaehyun’s delight. He had no desire to carry on chatting about this right this second.

Jaehyun hustled him unceremoniously out of the door with genuine well-wishes that his friend’s date would go well so that he wouldn’t be back any time soon – if at all – tonight.

By the grace of some higher power, Jaehyun was able to get his room looking acceptable with time to spare – enough to change into a set of clothes that was at least a little bit less shabby. He had one leg in a fresh pair of jeans when he heard a knock on the front door.

He shimmied his pants the rest of the way on as he made his way to the entrance, whipping open the door.

Jaehyun couldn't explain the soft fuzzy feeling that settled in his belly when he saw Johnny standing in front of him, a small, tempered smile pulling at his lips.

“Hi,” Jaehyun beamed, apparently unable to play it cool.

“Hey,” Johnny said warmly, but Jaehyun could see the way his brows twitched in confusion. It was fair, considering how they left things that afternoon. “I, uh— I tried to ring the bell a few times, but… I think it might be broken.”

Jaehyun thought back to the time a few years ago when he and his roommate were coming back from a night out when Taeyong, who was fairly severely blasted, shouted ‘Bruce Lee!’ before completely obliterating the doorbell with a roundhouse kick. They had glued it back together to the best of their abilities but it was rendered useless. 

The thought process behind that moment remains a mystery to this day.

“Oh, yeah, it totally is,” Jaehyun nodded, waving his hand dismissively. 

Johnny hummed. 

“Anyway, I brought all that stuff from the doctor’s office,” he announced, passing the manila file folder clutched in his hands over the threshold. 

“Ah, yeah, thanks.” Jaehyun took the folder and tentatively stepped aside. “Did you want to, like… come in?”

There was a beat of silence, confusion flashing across Johnny’s face again. 

“Oh, well… I hadn’t actually planned on staying…” Johnny said, awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m definitely not parked in a guest spot…”

“Oh,” Jaehyun said quietly, deflating. 

“But I mean, I can stay for a bit if you want,” Johnny piped up. “I just didn’t think you’d want to, so…”

Johnny trailed off with a half-hearted shrug. 

Yup, this was _definitely_ awkward. Almost _painfully_ so. This kind of interaction is _exactly_ why Jaehyun was avoiding a full-blown relationship so desperately. The feelings and emotions and wants and desires of another human just tend to make things so… _messy_. A quick and dirty fuckbuddy situation was just so much easier.

In the seconds that followed, with the two of them lingering uncomfortably in the silence, Jaehyun couldn’t help but second-guess himself, to question the decision he made. Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe he should forget about the whole thing – just hit ‘Cancel’ and put all of this behind him.

But then he looked in Johnny’s eyes and saw the tiniest sparkle of hopefulness.

Jaehyun’s mind was made up and he sucked in a deep breath for courage. _You’re in this now, Jae,_ he thought. _Go big or go home._

“Look, I know everything that happened today was a little _weird_ or whatever, but…” he paused, biting his lip for a moment. If there was a proper way to make this statement, it seemed to elude him. “I think I want to do it.” 

Johnny blinked at him. “Do… what?”

“ _This_.” Jaehyun gestured down to his stomach, heart pounding uncomfortably in his ears. “Let's do it. Let’s have a fucking kid together.”

The elder’s eyes widened, mouth hanging open in shock.

“ _Seriously?_ ” 

“Serious—” 

Before Jaehyun could even finish speaking, Johnny had rushed forward and wrapped his arms around him, scooping him off his feet in a tight hug.

Jaehyun giggled – which he was certain he’d never actually done before in his adult life – and little bubbles of happiness and excitement and all that gay shit burst inside of him.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing,” Johnny gushed, lowering the other until his toes could touch the ground again. He pulled away and took Jaehyun’s face between his hands, studying his eyes as his face settled into sincere concern. “But are you sure you really want this? I was serious earlier, Jae – I don’t want you to go through all this just because _I_ want it.”

“Yeah, I’m really sure,” Jaehyun confirmed, triggering a smile to bloom on the elder’s face again.

Johnny lifted him off his feet again. “Oh my god, we’re having a baby!”

“ _Agh!_ Johnny!” Jaehyun huffed, his poor spine being crushed in Johnny’s hold.

The elder gasped suddenly and set him back on the floor, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Oh shit, there’s so much we have to do now,” Johnny said. “We need to look at our finances, have a birth plan, maybe read some books… and today, my coworker was just telling me about this little group or class or something like that – I’ll have to get the details, but—”

“Johnny,” Jaehyun laughed. “We have time, we’ll figure it out.”

“Sorry,” the elder smiled sheepishly. “It’s just— I’m gonna be a dad! _We’re_ gonna be dads!”

Johnny leaned one hand against the doorframe and started chuckling goofily to himself – and Jaehyun couldn’t help but join in too because god, the elder was just so cute and flustered and sweet right now that it was physically impossible to resist. 

Plus, Johnny was right – the next eight-ish months were going to be a hellstorm of crazy shit that Jaehyun was not at all prepared for, but he chose this. He _wanted_ this. And he was pretty sure there was no one else he’d want to do this with. 

Now was the time to just… _lean into it_.

So he did, pushing up on his toes to slot his lips together with Johnny’s. 

Jaehyun rested his arms over Johnny’s shoulders. There was always a heady intoxication that accompanied the sensation of being pressed up against Johnny, of smelling his cologne and feeling the warmth that radiated off his body. But now that it was joined by all the emotions he had been repressing too, Jaehyun’s head was seriously swimming.

What was soft and gentle at first was fast devolving into something more heated, tongues diving in and out of each other’s mouths sloppily.

“I’m just… so… excited,” Johnny breathed against his lips, arms tight around Jaehyun.

Jaehyun hummed, tugging at the elder’s collar and shuffling backward until Johnny was all the way inside his apartment and Jaehyun could finally kick the door closed behind him.

They stumbled toward Jaehyun’s bedroom, narrowly avoiding tripping over the throw rug on the way. Jaehyun tossed the folder on whatever surface was nearby while Johnny was already busy undoing the button on his jeans.

Everything quickly fell into place and things felt right again. For the most part, the natural order of things between them had been restored as Jaehyun found himself bent over, his hands and knees being ground into the mattress while he was railed from behind.

“Can’t believe this is really happening,” Johnny said breathlessly. 

Jaehyun only moaned in response, too focused on trying to keep himself stable when his elbows were shaking and threatening to give out beneath him. 

“And you and me,” Johnny continued after a moment, slowing to a grind. “Do you wanna… Does this mean we’re, like…”

“Like what?” Jaehyun asked, pretty distractedly to be honest.

“Like…” Johnny paused, the drive of his cock sadly coming to a halt all together. “Boyfriends?”

Jaehyun froze, the word hitting him like a mack truck. Even if the elephant in the room was now less gargantuan, there was still that little something else that lingered in the balance.

On some subconscious level, it’s what Jaehyun had wanted for some time – he was aware of that much now. But Jesus, wasn’t the realization that he wanted to have this baby enough for one day? Did the universe really need to pile on like this?

“Um… Uh—”

Johnny puffed out a laugh at the younger’s reaction. “Really? Still?! God, you’re something else, Jaehyun.”

“No, just— Look, it just caught me by surprise, okay?” Jaehyun recalibrated and swallowed down all his nerves. “We… we can do that, or whatever…”

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah, sure, why not,” Jaehyun conceded casually, rocking his ass back against the elder’s cock. “Can you keep fucking me now, please?”

Johnny chuckled lowly, hips kicking into gear again. He dug his palms into Jaehyun’s waist as he worked back up to his vigorous pace. 

Jaehyun’s hands fisted into the comforter to keep himself steady while his cakes were pounded with gusto. He could feel the elder’s thrusts growing sloppy and ragged before finally blowing his load inside Jaehyun with a grunt.

Johnny slowed before leaning forward, circling his arms around Jaehyun’s torso and pulling him upright. Jaehyun settled back against him, flush to Johnny’s chest.

“Ah, Jaehyunnie,” Johnny sighed, breath hot against the younger’s ear. “A baby _and_ a boyfriend all in one day…”

“But… Johnny… let’s, uh… we need to… like… take it slow…” 

It was understandably difficult for Jaehyun to get his thoughts out considering Johnny was still balls deep in his ass and currently wrapping his fingers around Jaehyun’s still very hard cock.

“Of course, baby,” Johnny cooed. His tone provided an interesting contrast to the way he was firmly jerking the other off.

“ _Real_ slow. Like… glacial— _Fuck_ ,” Jaehyun huffed. 

He groaned before letting his head fall back against Johnny’s shoulder as cum spilled out over the elder’s fingers. Johnny only moaned, kissing and nibbling along the skin of Jaehyun’s neck and working him through his orgasm.

When Jaehyun’s senses started to come back to him, he felt a palm that wasn’t his own resting gently over his abdomen.

“I’m so happy, Jae,” Johnny whispered.

The smile in his voice made Jaehyun’s insides dissolve into mush. This wasn’t just the standard post-fuck bliss – no, it was something more, something bigger. 

Jaehyun couldn’t help but give himself a huge mental pat on the back for his emotional growth lately. And yes, he knew there was a lot more to figure out between them and a long road ahead – but he figured he could let himself enjoy this feeling just for now, just for tonight.

“Yeah,” he smiled, his own hand sliding over top of Johnny’s. “Me too.”

\\\\\

Jaehyun finished pulling on a clean t-shirt before swinging open his bedroom door.

“Yeah, sorry the mattress isn’t as comfortable as yours,” he said over his shoulder with a sigh.

“It’s fine, it’s really no problem,” Johnny chuckled, still rubbing out the slight kink in his neck as he followed Jaehyun through the doorway. “It’s a small price to pay to wake up next to you.”

Jaehyun stopped in his tracks halfway to the front door, swiveling around just to face the other and grimace.

“Gross. Just for that, you’re definitely paying for breakfast.”

Johnny stepped closer, and wound his arms around Jaehyun’s waist, lacing his fingers together behind his back pulling him close.

“Fine by me, baby,” he smirked playfully, before leaning down to peck Jaehyun’s lips. “It’s the least I can do for my new boyfriend.”

There was a sudden clatter, like metal against ceramic, and the pair turned in unison toward the sound only to see Taeyong tucked back into the corner of the kitchen, leaning against the counter, bowl of cereal in hand, and a spoon still flipping and flopping against the tile floor below.

“Your _what?_ ” 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please PLEASE leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! i will try to get the next update prepared more quickly !! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)


	7. seahorse club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, you’re still totally set on going to this group thing today, huh?”
> 
> Johnny nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of french toast. “Yup. For sure.”
> 
> Jaehyun grimaced down at his plate. He can’t say he had any desire to go to some weird club thing that was probably just a collection of obnoxious, uber-domesticated couples who spent their free time planning dinner parties or jerking off to Crate & Barrel catalogs or whatever…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said i wasn't going to take as long for this update but here we are 🤡 better late than never though !!! 
> 
> i had a lot of fun visiting all the couples in this chapter so i hope you guys enjoy it!!~ 💖🍋

Jaehyun was frozen. Literally stuck in a singular moment in time and space like a bug squished onto the windshield of the very fabric of reality. 

He honestly didn’t know how much time had passed since he realized that Johnny, his new boyfriend and the father of his baby, and Taeyong, his long-time, asinine best friend/roommate, were standing roughly twelve feet apart, staring directly at each other, thus causing Jaehyun’s world to begin slowly, agonizingly collapsing in on itself.

This had to be a dream. No, a nightmare. His current worst fear, obnoxiously depicted by his stupid brain with unprecedented levels of irony – because nothing this ridiculously well-timed could ever actually occur in real life.

But then his arm started wiggling – or rather, Johnny started wiggling his arm to get his attention.

“Jae?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in concern. “Jae, are you okay?”

Johnny’s soothing voice finally came filtering through to his brain, but in that weird way, like he was underwater.

Jaehyun blinked at him. “Uh…”

There was the sound of bare feet shuffling across the tile and Jaehyun looked over to the kitchen to see Taeyong again.

“I’m sorry, but did I slip into another dimension or maybe an alternate timeline or something?” Taeyong piped up, bending from the spot to pick up the spoon he had dropped in shock a moment ago and throwing it into the sink behind him. “What the hell is happening?”

If Jaehyun possessed the capacity to become more distressed than he already was right now, he would say that the sight of his friend’s Super Mario boxers definitely did the trick.

The utensil drawer clanged as Taeyong retrieved a new spoon before strolling over to the table and settling down in a seat. He scooped up a hearty mound of Cocoa Puffs and shoved it into his mouth, looking back and forth between the two behind his wire-rimmed glasses.

Taeyong comfortably chomped away while he waited for an explanation, but Jaehyun did not appear to be in a hurry to speak up - so Johnny stepped forward instead.

“Hi, I’m Johnny,” he announced, extending his hand over the tabletop. “I’ve been, um… seeing Jaehyun.”

Taeyong hummed, tentatively taking his hand and shaking. 

“Wait, so were you here all night?” He asked, without bothering to wait for a response. “Wow… I thought Jaehyun was just watching porn at an insane volume again.”

Jaehyun pursed his lips, red flaring in his cheeks. 

“Johnny, this is Taeyong, my dickhead roommate,” he huffed, gesturing across the table. 

“And his dickhead _best friend_ ,” Taeyong added pointedly. 

Jaehyun sighed. “Yeah, unfortunately, that too…”

The room fell into a painful silence, apart from Taeyong’s loud crunching. His spoon scraped aggressively around the rim of his bowl before he piled up another spoonful.

“So, what? You guys are dating now?” Taeyong started, straight down to it. “Like, for real dating? Not this will-they-won’t-they, long-term fuck-buddy bullshit anymore?”

Johnny’s eyes flashed nervously to Jaehyun, who pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Yes, Taeyong. We’re…” Jaehyun paused. Saying the actual word still felt strange, but he was determined to power through, if only to show up his really cranky friend. “ _Dating_.”

Taeyong visibly shivered. 

“God, it sounds so odd coming for you,” he said. “Feels like I’m in the Twilight Zone or something…”

“I take it Jae hasn’t always been much of the boyfriend-type, huh?” Johnny asked, chuckling awkwardly as he attempted to improve upon his first impression.

Taeyong puffed out a laugh. 

“No. Never. He’s more of the hit-it-and-quit-it type,” he said. “Honestly, I never thought I’d see the day that Jung Jaehyun gets cuffed. Maybe hell froze over some time last night, I don’t know…”

He shrugged before turning back to his cereal. Johnny turned toward Jaehyun, his eyebrow cocked in confusion. It’s not that he wasn’t already privy to Jaehyun’s past, but the tone of this conversation was… questionable, at best. 

Even Jaehyun was confused, chewed nervously at his cheek. This was not what he expected from Taeyong, who’s annoyingly giant eyes should be positively _glittering_ with excitement, face aglow with the impending opportunity to finally embarrass his dearest, bestest friend to within an inch of his poor life. 

Taeyong was certainly embarrassing him, but not at all in the way Jaehyun expected him to. What was his best friend so moody for today? 

The younger leaned forward, mouth opening to speak up, but Taeyong beat him to it.

“You know what? I’m sorry. I’m just not in the right headspace to be receiving this news right now, you know?” He said suddenly, sighing as he dropped his spoon into his bowl. He shoved a hand through his mussed up locks. “I had a really bad night, and now I’m just in such a funk…”

Jaehyun cocked his head to the side. 

“What happened?”

“Horrible date. Maybe one of the worst yet,” Taeyong pouted. “The waiter at the restaurant got my order wrong. Twice. I spilled my _dark red_ wine all over my nice white shirt, and the guy? Such a pig. The _whole_ time.”

Johnny shook his head in a disapproval. “ _Ugh_. Men are just the worst.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. He knew Johnny was only trying to get on his friend’s good side by commiserating - but the joke was on him since Taeyong didn’t have one.

Still, Taeyong hummed in approval of the sentiment, grimacing to himself as he watched the last few remaining puffs floating around his bowl get soggier and soggier.

“I just feel like I can’t catch a break, you know? I mean, I’m cute, aren’t I? How come _I_ can’t find a nice guy?” He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes darted over to his friend. “And then _you_ come in here with your big, stupid boyfriend—”

“ _Yong_ ,” Jaehyun hissed in warning.

Taeyong rolled his eyes and turned to Johnny. “No offense, obviously. Trust me, I’ve only heard _annoyingly_ good things about you.” 

“Oh, none taken,” Johnny waved it off. “It’s cool, honestly. I get where you’re coming from.”

His voice was so calm and understanding. Jaehyun could barely believe how well he was handling this insanely awkward encounter.

“The only thing that remotely salvaged my evening was seeing some loser getting his car towed for not parking in a guest space in the lot,” Taeyong added, the hint of a smirk pulling at his lips as he fondly recalled the memory.

“Shit,” Johnny breathed. He closed his eyes, head falling back. “Was it a silver Camry?”

“Um… Yeah, I think so, now that you mention it.”

Johnny groaned. And Jaehyun vaguely remembered him saying he wasn’t in a spot marked for guests when he came over last night.

“That was mine,” he sighed. 

“Oh? Was it?” 

Johnny rubbed his forehead in frustration and there was a glint in Taeyong’s eyes that Jaehyun did not like at all. He shot his friend a warning glance and hoped he didn’t antagonize his boyfriend any further.

Jaehyun turned to Johnny.

“I can drive us to breakfast and give you a ride h—”

“Ah, it’s okay, Jae,” Johnny cut him off. “We should probably rain check the breakfast so I can sort this out, anyway. I’ll just get a Lyft in the meantime. It’s no big deal, really…”

The elder’s eyes widened and settled quickly, as if silently asking Jaehyun not to push it.

“Oh. Okay, yeah, sure…” 

“Do you want to walk me out?” 

Still somewhat confused, Jaehyun nodded and they shuffled toward the front door of their apartment. 

“Nice to meet you, Johnny,” Taeyong half-heartedly called after them. “We’ll rain check the part of the meeting where I tell you all the embarrassing things Jaehyun’s ever done!”

“I’ll look forward to it!” Johnny shouted back chuckling before lowering his voice again. “So, that was… interesting.”

A sarcastic laugh forced itself from Jaehyun’s tight throat.

“That’s an extremely polite way of putting that.”

“Well, it sounds like he’s going through a rough time,” Johnny said softly, wrapping an arm around Jaehyun’s waist. “I don’t mind cutting him some slack for being jealous.”

Jaehyun smirked. When he put it that way, it made him feel a little better. Taeyong should be jealous - Johnny is a fine hunk of man and he’s all Jaehyun’s now.

“Yeah, well, don’t forget - you still owe me one breakfast,” Jaehyun protested, rubbing his stomach. “You worked up my appetite so hard and I was _super_ looking forward to making you pay for that.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he smiled sweetly, and Jaehyun’s stomach did an annoying flip-flop that he would not admit to if questioned. “But I should take care of my car now, just in case. And your friend could probably use some company today.”

Jaehyun was a little miffed. He had been feeling so emboldened and adventurous today. And shockingly, he was actually looking forward to hanging out with the elder outside of the bedroom again. But he knew Johnny was probably right.

Johnny pulled him closer, hooking his finger beneath Jaehyun chin and lifting his face toward him.

“Maybe next weekend, hm? I’ll get you as many pancakes and eggs and hash browns as you want.” Johnny pressed a kiss to Jaehyun pouty lips. “I’ll call you soon, Jae. Good luck with… everything here.”

Johnny giggled and kissed him again before slipping out of the door.

“He seems nice,” Taeyong noted. He had gotten up to get more cereal as Jaehyun was moseying back into the kitchen.

“He is,” Jaehyun agreed as he pulled a bowl from the cupboard before turning to get the milk carton from the fridge. “So thanks a heap for being a total asshole to him.”

“Can’t I get a pass for having a really shitty love life?” Taeyong whined as he plopped back into his seat at the table. “And for being in the grip of a severe dry spell? Like, _severe_ severe, Jae.”

“No, Yong. You definitely don’t ‘get a pass’ for that.” Jaehyun scoffed and dumped a pile of cereal into his waiting bowl. He always liked how the stream of big puffs twinkled against the ceramic. “That does suck though, I’ll give you that. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my best friend.”

Taeyong nodded and finally the room fell into a silence where the two could grimace into their cereal bowls in peace. For a few merciful minutes, all that could be heard was the sound of silver spoons chinking the sides of their bowls and mouths ferociously crunching up cereal.

“So, is his dick really as big as it looks in those sweats?”

“It sure is,” Jaehyun sighed, smiling to himself as if recalling an old love. 

“That’s nice… And I mean, even if I’m having a really shitty time in the romance department and it’s making me all bitter and stuff, I’m still happy for you, Jae,” Taeyong admitted. “You two look… _good_ together, or whatever…”

Jaehyun could read the exaggerated pout of his lower lip and knew Taeyong was trying really hard not to be so sour for just a minute. It was a surprising effort.

“Thanks, Yong. I… appreciate that.”

The words felt strange on Jaehyun’s tongue, he couldn’t lie. The two of them didn’t really talk like this - like emotionally mature adults.

Unfortunately, the moment didn’t last very long. 

“But you know I’m still gonna have to obliterate you at a later date, right?”

Jaehyun sighed. There would be no getting around that it seemed. Today’s meeting was just a taster of what Jaehyun could expect.

“Yup. I have no doubt you will.”

At least that wouldn’t be today - or tomorrow - so Jaehyun had more time to mentally, spiritually, and emotionally prepare himself. 

For now, he planned to spend most of today letting himself marinate in the fact that he’s in a relationship (weird) and committed to having a baby (double weird) - and figure out how the hell he was going to move forward with that.

\\\\\

Morning light subtly cracked through the blinds and fell over his eyes. The sun was up bright and early on this mid-May morning which meant so was Xuxi. 

He stretched, his long legs straightening along the mattress as his arms darted out of the sheets and extended overhead. He pushed himself up to peek over at the other side of the bed, where Jungwoo was still softly snoring beside him as expected, curled around his most beloved pregnancy pillow, which Xuxi was beginning to suspect might actually replace him in this relationship if he wasn’t too careful.

He smiled at his cute, snoozing fiancé (and side-eyed that stupid curved pillow he was clinging to) before settling back against the bed. He reached for his phone on the nightstand, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he checked his calendar and messages. 

He wrinkled his nose, eyeing the back-to-back training sessions he had booked starting at 7:30 am. Usually, he had no problem bouncing out of bed early and heading to the gym, but he was starting to feel a little more tired these days. He decided to chalk it up to all the stress of getting ready for the baby, which is totally fair considering it was truly right around the corner now… 

Xuxi took a deep breath and did another big stretch, toes flexing and curling beneath the sheets before he forced himself upright with a sigh. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and found his footing, shuffling across the floor toward the bathroom with a yawn.

Other than feeling a little sluggy, life was pretty damn great for Huang Xuxi at the moment. Jungwoo was _seriously_ about to burst, but he was happy and healthy carrying their baby. The little bub was growing well and probably having the time of its life floating around in a big, squishy waterbed all day. 

They were mostly settled into their new home now, which afforded them a lot more space to stretch out, unlike their old, tiny apartment. They were still filling out some of the furnishings around the house, with the exception of the nursery, which was painstakingly completed to Jungwoo’s vision weeks ago.

So Xuxi couldn’t complain, even if it seemed like the sinks in their new home were much lower and he kept accidentally splashing water on his crotch every time he washed his hands. It was a small price to pay for having just about everything he wanted and more these days.

He washed his face and brushed his teeth, feeling a bit more awake as he strolled back to the bedroom to quickly and quietly change out of his pajamas. Jungwoo had somehow curled even further around his pillow in his absence and Xuxi knew there was no use waking him up yet. So he only leaned down to peck his fiancé’s forehead before heading downstairs, grabbing a protein bar and his water jug on his way out of the house.

///

“Great,” Ten huffed from the middle of the walk-in closet, piles of rejected clothes scattered around his feet. “Absolutely nothing fits me anymore.”

“What about some of my paternity clothes?” Kun said from his place leaning in the doorway. He had one eye on the kids who were having a blast chasing around the Roomba vacuum in the master bedroom. “They’ll definitely fit.”

Ten scoffed, undoing the buttons he had managed to fasten only halfway down his torso. “Thanks, but I’d rather go naked.”

“I don’t want clothes either!” 

Kunhang came barreling into the tiny room, nearly knocking Kun over on the way. The child began tugging and tearing at his little pink t-shirt, managing to get it about halfway off before he got trapped in the material and eventually tumbled into a heap on the carpet.

It wasn’t much of a surprise. Their eldest son never did much care for clothing. Some days it was a wonder they got him into a shirt at all. 

Kun sighed, bending down to pull the child back up to his feet.

“You are not leaving this house naked today, and neither is Daddy.” He turned to Ten as he straightened out his son’s t-shirt, despite the boy’s pout. “Don’t encourage him or we’ll have a full-blown nudist on our hands in no time.”

Ten hid his snicker behind his hand at the scene. At least it gave him a respite from his troubles.

But it was brief and soon he was looking around him at the piles of garments around him with a defeated sigh.

“Guess I’ll just go with a big sweater again,” he announced in defeat.

“Ten, you can’t just wear big sweaters for the next seven months.”

“The hell I can.” Ten strolled past his husband and made his way toward the arm chair in their bedroom, where he had flung the garment a few days ago.

Kun quirked an eyebrow and turned on his heels to follow him.

“And how exactly are you going to explain that, when you’re showing up to barbecues and pool parties in a huge, bulky sweater come August?” 

Ten pursed his lips. He wasn’t ready for everyone to know about his pregnancy yet. 

“Look, I just don’t want everyone to see me looking like _this_ yet,” he huffed, gesturing to his growing belly. He trained his eyes on the sweater in his hands instead of meeting Kun’s gaze when his voice lowered. “Besides… It’s too early still.”

He pulled the sweater on over his head and looked at himself in the full-length mirror. The garment was just _barely_ disguising his bump at this point. He knew his husband was right and that he wouldn’t be able to keep this up forever but he would rather try to retain what little privacy they had left for now.

Kun leaned down to scoop up Renjun before the baby could wreak havoc in the now unguarded walk-in closet that he was currently making a beeline for. He propped him comfortably against his hip, despite the child’s fussing.

“But we’re passed 12 weeks now.”

Ten rolled his eyes. “You act like 12 weeks is some kind of magic number…”

“Because _80 percent_ of miscarriages occur in the first trimester—”

“But that still leaves a whole other 20 percent, Kun,” Ten snapped back. He felt like a broken record, the two having gone back and forth like this since they found out.

Ten would be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely nervous about revealing that he was pregnant now - which was already a pretty hugely world-shattering event for him - just in case anything bad happened and he would have to _un-reveal_ it later. Unfortunately, Ten knew all too well that the worst was still very possible at this point.

They had both been surprised and scared by the news of their latest pending arrival. Ten knew Kun was just trying to be supportive and encouraging - to be his rock right now when he needed him most. But Kun wasn’t there the first and only time Ten had gotten pregnant before this, nor had he himself experienced such complications while he carried their three children. It was hard for him to explain it.

Ten’s voice grew small, eyes fixating on the spot where his fingers were fiddling with the hem on his sweater. “I’d just rather be safe than sorry right now…”

“Tennie,” Kun cooed gently, wrapping his free arm around his husband’s waist. “The doctor said everything looked good and that you’re progressing along just fine. I know you’re scared of— well, history _repeating_ itself… but it’s going to be okay, I just know it.”

Ten pouted but nodded in acceptable before resting his head against his husband’s shoulder. 

“And I know you feel _uncomfortable_ lately, but you know we think you’re as beautiful as ever,” Kun continued, like the good, disgustingly loving husband he was. “Right, kids?”

“Yes!” Dejun lit up. Kun was certain the toddler didn’t know what he was agreeing to, but his enthusiasm was adorable as he scrambled to his feet and bounded toward his father. 

“Me too! You’re fluffy now.” 

Kunhang joined in, reaching up on his tiptoes to pat his small palms against Ten’s stomach. 

“See? So, don’t worry, honey,” Kun said, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “We’re all here for you.”

Ten rolled his eyes at the cheesiness of it all but could do very little about the pinky blush warming his cheeks.

Okay, maybe he had to admit that, looking in the mirror right now, they were an absolutely gorgeous family and he couldn’t be more grateful to be surrounded by them these days.

Ten loved them all so deeply, from the furthest depths of his soul. Having this family pushed the very boundaries of what he knew to be love, transforming it into the strongest, most incredible bond he’d ever felt. He would go to the ends of the earth for each and every one of his babies, and for Kun, too. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for their health and happiness. 

They knew they wanted more kids, even if they didn’t expect it to happen like this. Underneath all the fear and discomfort, he and Kun were thrilled to be expanding their family. 

Tears suddenly pinched at the backs of his eyes. God, all these ramped-up hormones were truly in full-swing now, huh? 

“Alright, alright, alright,” Ten announced, squirming himself out of this picture-perfect family moment so he could catch his tears on the back of his palms before they had a chance to streak down his face.

Kun smiled to himself and quickly patted his husband’s shoulder in comfort before turning to the kids. He knew it would be best for everyone to distract them from seeing their Daddy getting a little emotional right now. As cute as he knew their little words of comfort would be, they sort of had to get a move on with their day if they were going to stick to their schedule.

“Alright, everyone! Who wants some snacks before we go to Uncle Do’s?”

\\\\\

“Fuck,” Jaehyun grunted. 

His fingers were slow to untangle themselves from Johnny’s dark locks. The elder didn’t seem to mind - he expected that Jaehyun’s brain would be on a bit of a delay after the younger blew his load down his throat first thing in the morning. 

Johnny licked his lips before kissing his way up Jaehyun’s torso, pecking all along his skin until he flopping down on the bed beside him.

“Fuck.” The younger sighed again, finally tugging his fingers out of Johnny’s hair.

“Good?”

“So fucking good,” Jaehyun breathed, eyes fluttering closed.

Johnny propped himself up on his elbow. He couldn’t fight the smile as he admired how pink and flushed Jaehyun’s skin grew, sweat shimmering on his neck. He was so adorable when he was fucked out.

“Let me cook you breakfast.”

Jaehyun sucked in a breath, arching his back up off the mattress to stretch his chest before rolling onto his side and settling into the pillow even more cozily than before.

“Be my guest,” he sighed dreamily. “Just gimme another hour to sleep in first.”

“Do you remember saying that an hour and fifteen minutes ago, too?” Johnny chuckled. “If you go back to sleep, then you won’t have time to eat before we leave. And if you don’t have time to eat before we leave, then you will miss out on my frankly outstanding rendition of french toast.”

The younger took his bottom lip between his teeth and moaned. Actually, now that he thought about it, he was pretty ravenous after emptying his balls. But he was also in need of a little extra rest to recuperate. Decisions, decisions…

He cracked an eye open.

“Forty-five more minutes.”

“Fifteen.”

“Forty.”

“Twenty.”

“Thirty.”

“Done,” Johnny agreed. 

He leaned forward and pecked Jaehyun’s nose, before landing a loud crack on the younger’s ass cheek and shimmying out of the bed.

Jaehyun buried his face into the pillow to hide his stupid grin. God, he was loving the benefits of his new relationship with Johnny. It had only been about three weeks now, but he quite liked waking up beside his big, warm body on the weekends; he enjoyed getting to know the elder more over dinners that he paid for; and he even weirdly relished the goodnight text messages Johnny would send, which were equal parts cute and corny as fuck.

It didn’t feel as strange and different as he had expected. As it turns out, once he got out of his own head for about five seconds, he realized that things between them didn’t really need to change all that much. Sure, it took some time to get used to the actual label and he still had to temper the habitual stress that cropped up every time Johnny suggested any activity that was not specifically fucking - but other than that, it was a pretty smooth transition.

So Jaehyun was feeling quite comfortable now as he lolled in and out of consciousness in Johnny’s soft bed, listening to the faint, intermittent clatter of pans and cutlery in the kitchen like ASMR. The scent of sweet toast frying in the pan tickled his nose. And before he knew it, Johnny’s voice was summoning him to the kitchen.

Reluctantly, he stumbled out of bed and grabbed his pair of boxers that had been discarded unceremoniously the night before. He pulled the plaid fabric up his legs before trudging out of the room, eyes squinting as they adjusted to the morning light flooding the rest of Johnny’s apartment. 

The sight in the kitchen was certainly worth dragging his ass out of bed for. Johnny lingered over the stovetop, grey sweatpants hanging low off his hips and an apron slung over his bare, broad chest. 

It’s not like it was the first time Jaehyun had ever seen a man cooking breakfast for him, but it was a far cry from watching Taeyong scramble around the kitchen with some dorky pair of boxers and his ridiculous bedhead.

Between the view and the intoxicating scent of cinnamon and vanilla, his salivary glands were in hyperdrive.

“Smells good.”

“Thank you, the secret is—” Johnny paused as he glanced over his shoulder to look at the other. The corner of his lip curled up into a smile. “Wow. I didn’t notice it last night - or this morning - but… I think you might be starting to show a little bit, Jae.”

Jaehyun looked down and ran his fingertips over his stomach. _Fuck_. It actually did feel a little more swollen than before. It wasn’t much - like he was a bit bloated. He was ten weeks gone now - about two and a half months - but he admittedly had no idea when it would become evident that there was a bun in his oven. Still, it did feel weird…

“Weird,” he mumbled, his voice accidentally echoing his thoughts.

“It’s okay,” Johnny hummed, walking closer with two plates of still-steaming stacks of french toast. “I think it’s cute.”

“‘Cute.’ Right.” Jaehyun huffed out a laugh. “You better keep that same energy when I’m wobbling around at the size of Jupiter.”

He took one dish from Johnny’s hand and set it onto the table before plunking down on a chair.

“Oh, trust me,” the elder smirked. He bent over Jaehyun, pecking his neck and running a warm hand down the other’s torso before his voice took on a much more sultry tone. “I honestly can’t wait.”

Johnny rounded the table to sit down across from him as Jaehyun cocked an eyebrow.

“Huh. Wouldn’t have pegged you for having a pregnancy kink…”

“Baby, we’ve barely scratched the surface of all the things I’m into,” Johnny chuckled. But before Jaehyun could pull at that very interesting and sexy thread, the elder carried on. “But really, further down the line in your pregnancy, you’re probably going to be crazy horny - and I am personally looking forward to that experience.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Like, all hours of the day and night. It’s all the hormones, apparently.” Johnny laughed as he grabbed his fork and stabbed at his french toast. “That’s what my friends say, anyway…”

Jaehyun hummed, nodding as he poked at his own breakfast. 

“Right, yeah, your friends…”

Jaehyun had learned about them over the last couple weeks or so. The elder was close with a married couple who already had three kids in their roster - a feat that Jaehyun couldn’t even get his head around. Johnny also had a co-worker who was himself ready to pop out a little baby into the world.

And it was through this co-worker that Johnny had learned about some kind of support group for pregnant dudes that the elder had somehow talked Jaehyun into attending. 

Conceptually, it didn’t seem like a bad idea - but of course, now that the day had actually arrived, he was having some reservations. 

“So, you’re still totally set on going to this group thing today, huh?”

Johnny nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of french toast. “Yup. For sure.”

Jaehyun grimaced down at his plate. He can’t say he had any desire to go to some weird club thing that was probably just a collection of obnoxious, uber-domesticated couples who spent their free time planning dinner parties or jerking off to Crate & Barrel catalogs or whatever… 

“It’ll be good to know what to expect and talk to people who are going through the same thing as you - as _us_ ,” Johnny continued, filling the silence across the table. “Might be nice to meet some more folks in our shoes, too.”

It wasn’t a bad point - but it was a point that Jaehyun didn’t particularly feel like acknowledging at the moment.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, slumping down in his seat. “I’m not gonna fit in with these people, man…”

“So what? You’ll have me there,” Johnny grinned, nudging playfully at the younger’s foot beneath the table. Unfortunately, it did little to alleviate the pout on Jaehyun’s face. “Alright, look. We’ll go once, see what it’s about, and if it’s lame, then we don’t have to go back.”

Jaehyun chewed his lip as he mulled that over. He wished he could just do whatever he wanted and not have to consider another person’s perspective - but that’s what he gets for choosing to have a boyfriend. And a baby. Besides, there was about a 98% chance that this group would, in fact, be pretty fucking lame, so… it was probably the best offer he was going to get.

“Fine,” Jaehyun caved. “Deal.”

“Good.” Johnny beamed as he pushed himself away from the table and took his plate over to the sink. “Then hurry up and eat so we can jump in the shower before we go.”

Jaehyun straightened up in his chair, ears pricking up at the promise of a wet and steamy session together. 

He wolfed down the rest of his breakfast in three gigantic bites before practically throwing his dish in the sink and jogging out of the room in his boyfriend’s wake.

///

To no one’s surprise at all, Xuxi found Jungwoo still in bed when he returned home from the gym. Even before he got knocked up, Jungwoo had always been a bona fide sleeping beauty. It’s not like he was always tired or anything - no, he just loved to sleep. Like, he’d-easily-sleep-14-hours-a-day-if-left-unchecked loved it.

Xuxi figured they made a good counterbalance for each other, since he himself liked to jump up at first light like a puppy. Between the two of them, they could usually meet in the middle and get out of bed at a reasonable hour.

Of course, that was before Jungwoo was nearly 39 weeks pregnant. These days, he was genuinely pretty exhausted - which meant Xuxi had his work cut out for him when it came to drawing him out of the comfort of their big, comfy bed.

As he walked through the door of the dark bedroom, he could see Jungwoo was now sprawled out across the bed, limbs tangled in their cotton sheets while the comforter over his belly formed a little, poofy mountain. It was adorable - right up until a snore ripped from Jungwoo’s throat, loud enough to break the sound barrier. 

One of the less pleasant side effects of pregnancy. Thankfully, Xuxi only found it funny.

He tiptoed over to the edge of the bed. He wasn’t particularly sweaty from work, but he still only sat half of his butt on the mattress beside his fiancé just to be safe.

“Hey Woo,” he cooed, gently jostling the elder’s shoulder. 

Jungwoo didn’t budge an inch. Unsurprisingly.

So Xuxi brought his fingertips to the other’s face, brushing his blonde, messy bangs off his forehead and calling his name again.

“Woo…” 

Jungwoo grumbled something incoherent but definitely somewhat aggravated, swatting Xuxi’s hand away. His nose scrunched up before he grabbed the covers with a huff and pulled them up over his face.

“Baby, it’s time to get up,” Xuxi said, this time more firmly as he gave the comforter a tug. 

“But I’m so cozy,” Jungwoo whined, his voice muffled under all that fluffy material.

Xuxi glanced at the clock on the wall. He felt bad rushing his heavily pregnant fiancé out of bed, but they didn’t really have time for the usual 30-minute stand-off this morning. 

“What do I have to do to get you out of bed?”

Jungwoo groaned, stretching his long legs out before he rolled towards his fiancé. Honestly, there was little else he wanted to do except nap and sleep.

“Sheesh, I don’t even get any foreplay today?” He smirked sleepily. “That’s disappointing…”

Well, there was _one_ other thing Jungwoo couldn’t get enough of these days. 

So despite Jungwoo’s playful grin, Xuxi knew he was dead serious. But they were already cutting it a little close with their schedule today and as much as he hated saying no to his fiancé, they kind of had to get a hustle on.

“Ah, baby, we don’t really have much time if we’re going to make it Seahorse Club on time for once,” Xuxi said, much to his fiancé’s visible displeasure. 

“Who cares? This is probably the last meeting we have left anyway…”

Jungwoo made a pretty solid counterpoint, considering he was still half-sleep.

“True,” Xuxi hummed, thinking. “But alright, how about I cook you breakfast? I can make you some fried eggs, or…”

He let himself trail off, because frankly, he had no other recipes in his arsenal. 

“No. You always break the yolk,” Jungwoo grumbled, and Xuxi took his pout for a fairly blunt rejection. 

“Okay, well… if you roll out of bed now, then I’ll make the bed.”

Jungwoo huffed out a laugh.

“Uh, hello? Do you see the current size of the human that you put inside of me?” He said, gesturing at his midsection. “ _Obviously_ , you’re making the bed.”

Xuxi sighed. He was more disappointed in himself for not seeing that coming. 

“If you really want to get me up, then you can _get me up_ ,” Jungwoo grinned, quite pleased with his own play on words.

Cloying fingertips began dancing higher and higher along Xuxi’s thigh. He knew exactly what it was that Jungwoo wanted and it was looking increasingly likely that he wouldn’t be giving in under any other circumstances. 

Xuxi sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes flashed to the clock again, following the path of the second hand as it ticked away. 

But he caved miserably as Jungwoo’s fingers pushed beneath the hem of his shorts. Damn his pretty fiancé for being so sexy and horny all the time.

“Alright, if you get up, like, _right now_ , then we can fool around for a bit in the shower.”

“Yes!” 

Jungwoo squealed as his arms sprang out from beneath the covers. His face was glowing with excitement as his dutiful partner helped heave him up from the mattress. Xuxi hopped off so Jungwoo could swing his legs over the side before being helped to his feet.

Jungwoo adjusted his big t-shirt before clasping his hands on either side of his belly, gazing down at his bump. 

“Good morning, little pup,” he said sweetly before turning to Xuxi, taking both sides of his face in his hands and leaning forward to peck his plump lips. “And good morning, big pup.”

He rested his arms over Xuxi’s shoulders with a soft sigh and a tired smile. 

Xuxi’s stomach flipped. He couldn’t believe Jungwoo still had the power to make his heart melt down into a pile of sappy goop just like the first day they met - even after more than six years together.

Schedule be damned. Jungwoo was too cute to be rushed. It was simply out of Xuxi’s hands.

“Did you sleep okay?” Xuxi asked softly, hands brushing over the enormous belly between them.

Jungwoo nodded, making little to no effort to stifle a yawn. “And how was work? I heard you leave pretty early.”

“It was fine. Nothing special,” Xuxi shrugged. “Would’ve rather been here with you, even if you were just sleeping the morning away.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You’re my world,” Xuxi smiled. He pat Jungwoo’s tummy, his broad hands nearly covering the whole swell of it. “Both of you are.”

Jungwoo beamed back at him, eyes sparkling. He loved how much Xuxi adored him, adored their soon-to-be family of three. He didn’t know how he was lucky enough to meet the love of his life so early.

He pushed up on his toes and stretched across the bump between them to kiss his fiancé one more time before falling back to his heels with a groan.

“God, my back’s sore,” he pouted. “This little pup is pushing right against my spine, I swear…”

“You know what’ll be good for that?” Xuxi started, taking Jungwoo’s hands and guiding him out of the room without waiting for a response. “Hot water. In the shower.”

Jungwoo’s face lit up again. 

“Yes, _please_.”

\\\\\

“Ah, yes, thank you _kindly_.” Donghyuck grinned graciously as the waiter arrived with the first round of bottomless mimosas. He pinched his glass by its elegant stem and lifted it to his lips for a sip. “Perfection.”

He sat back in his seat, admiring the scene around him. The cafe was buzzing with patrons for the brunch rush. The sun was shining warm and bright over the city center but they were shaded comfortably beneath the protective cover of the umbrella at their patio table. The birds chirped in the trees that dappled the sidewalk, just audible over the chatter of nearby guests and the faint city noise. 

“What an absolutely lovely day to nurse a violent hangover.”

His boyfriend Mark chuckled in the seat across from him and lifted his own glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

It was already nearing noon, but the young pair had only managed to roll out of bed about a half an hour ago, throwing on some clean clothes and stumbling down the block to their favorite treat-yourself breakfast spot.

“Let us also drink to our dear Jaehyun, for without him giving up so many weekend shifts lately, we probably wouldn’t be here.”

Donghyuck clinked his flute with Mark’s and took another tangy, bubbly gulp. It was true that the elder bartender had passed on several lucrative shifts at the bar recently. 

“I wonder what’s got him so busy these days…” Mark mused.

“Who knows,” Donghyuck shrugged, trading his mimosa for a sip of fresh, hot coffee. It was something of a godsend after having been up until nearly 4:00 am the night before. “Probably adult shit or something. He’s getting so old.”

Mark hummed. He was too busy craning his neck in search of their waiter and his much-beloved massive cinnamon roll that he was waiting for.

“I’m so glad we’re not old yet,” Donghyuck continued. “No responsibilities, no burdens…”

Frankly, the 21- and 22-year-olds were just barely getting their feet wet in the real world. Mark had only just recently graduated from college while Hyuck still had a bit more schooling to go. They basically lived together in the younger’s student apartment.

Mark shook his head, the breeze ruffling up his black hair. “Yeah, I’m totally not ready for any of that right now. Can you imagine?”

“Not at all,” Donghyuck sighed. “Good thing we’re a long way off from that.”

The waiter breezed over to their table, setting down the colossal sweet roll Mark had ordered with a smile. 

“Thank you so much,” Mark beamed brightly and grabbed a knife and fork to tear into the massive treat. “I wonder what people with responsibilities and burdens and stuff are doing right now…”

Donghyuck tilted his teashades down his nose as he watched a small family scramble and fuss their way down the sidewalk beside them. “Yeah… I wonder…”

///

“Kunhang’s backpack, Kunhang’s backpack…” Kun mumbled to himself as he darted around the playroom. “Where is Kunhang’s backpack…”

After a few minutes of searching, turning over pillows on the couch and peeking inside the toy chests, he was giving up on this room.

“Babe!” He called, stomping out into the hall so his voice carried through to wherever his husband was. “Have you seen Kunhang’s bag?!”

“It’s, uh—” Wherever Ten was shouting from, his mouth sounded absolutely stuffed. He must’ve paused to swallow his food down before continuing because his voice sounded much clearer the next time he spoke. “I hung it in the coat closet yesterday!”

“Right,” Kun sighed to himself as he strolled toward the entryway of the house. 

He retrieved the small, pink backpack from its hook on the inside of the closet door before making his way to the kitchen. He had a feeling he’d find his husband there.

And he was, leaning against the counter beside the rice cooker, cheeks bulging like a chipmunk from the heaping mound of rice he just ate directly off the wooden paddle. Kun huffed out a laugh, kneeling to slide the backpack onto the shoulders of their eager eldest child.

“I could’ve just made you something to eat that with if you asked, you know.” 

“I know. You said the same thing an hour ago,” Ten said matter-of-factly, reaching back for another scoop. “And like I said an hour ago, I’m still not hungry. I just needed something to line my stomach before we leave.”

Kun sent the small boy on his way with a pat on the butt before unfurling his body and adjusting his button-down. “You weren’t sick again, were you?”

Ten shook his head. After expelling just about everything from his stomach around 6:00 am today, he was feeling a little better, his appetite beginning to return. But he didn’t want to tempt fate too much - hence, the very simple, very _boring_ plain white rice he had resorted to munching on. 

“No, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Kun hummed in understanding. 

“Well, if you’re almost done, I’m about to wrangle the kids and get them in the car.” 

Ten nodded, shoving one more spoonful into his mouth before tossing it into the sink and brushing off his hands.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” he sighed to himself.

And a show it was - for the neighbors anyway - as Renjun nearly screamed the neighborhood down putting up a fight getting buckled into his carseat. But the squirmy one-year-old was no match for Ten’s well-seasoned hands in the end. 

Soon enough they were on their way, their SUV rolling down the quiet suburban street on this lazy Sunday. 

It wasn’t a far drive to their friend Doyoung’s house - he only lived a couple neighborhoods away. He had known the family for a long time now, having gone to law school with Ten and Kun and eventually taking up a position at the same firm as them. Of course, it wasn’t always the friendship that it currently was today - their history was rooted in fierce competition and typical one-upmanship. 

But things had mellowed out tremendously once they started their families. There was still some lingering snark and attitude at times, but that couldn’t be helped considering the personalities involved.

They pulled into the driveway at Doyoung’s house. It was smaller than their home since he didn’t need all the space that the Qian-Li’s did, but still very comfortable, with its soft tan exterior and well-trimmed shrubbery. 

Even from the car they could see the sidewalk and some of the path leading up to the house was littered with pastel-hued chalk drawings and a small, purple big-wheel tricycle was tucked to the side of the porch.

Kun put the car in park and unbuckled his belt. “Can you come up to the door with me?”

Ten’s eyebrows pinched together. He didn’t feel like getting out of the car just to hoist himself back up into the seat again in a few minutes. Plus, he didn’t need Doyoung getting suspicious if he happened to notice the way Ten’s sweater was sitting a little wider on him than usual.

“No. Why?” 

Kun turned toward the house, where their friend had just poked his head out of the front door and waved. Kun smiled and waved back.

“Because I’m a sitting duck if Doyoung starts to talk. You know what he’s like. I’ll be stuck. You’re the only person I know who lacks the shame to tell him precisely when you’re finished with a conversation.”

“I think the descriptor you’re looking for is ‘bold.’” Ten corrected confidently. Kun made it sound like a bad thing but he was quite proud of his skill. “And anyway, you’ll be fine. I’ll honk the horn after a few minutes and look all exasperated, giving you an easy window to excuse yourself so you can ‘take care of the ol’ ball and chain,’ or whatever…”

Ten waved his hand dismissively and Kun knew there was probably no point trying to argue. 

So he reluctantly jumped out of the driver’s seat and quickly undid the seatbelts of his already over-excited eldest sons. 

“Hey, give Daddy a kiss before you go,” Ten called over his shoulder, catching the boys before they could run off up to the house. They squeezed through to the front seat, each taking a turn to press a loud kiss against Ten’s cheek before they hopped out of the car. 

“Be good, babies!” He hollered after them as they took off.

Kun rounded the car to retrieve the youngest, taking him in one arm and slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder before they made their way toward the front door.

Doyoung was already greeting the older boys on the steps of the porch, his three-year-old daughter already talking animatedly to her friends.

“Hey, Do. How are you doing?”

“Not too bad. Same old, same old, you know? Just another day in the life,” Doyoung smiled his big gummy smile as he relieved Kun of his bag and pushed open the door to set it inside the house. “What about you, guys? How are you doing?”

“Yeah, we’re doing good,” Kun hummed. “Lots going on, but…”

Doyoung snorted, reaching out to lift the baby out of Kun’s arms.

“Yeah, I bet - what with your small army and everything,” he chuckled, gesturing to all the boys. “I’m happy to take them for an afternoon, but sometimes I don’t know how you guys do it…”

“Ha, yeah…” Kun couldn’t help but think about how their army was about to get even bigger now. “But are you sure you’re good with all of them today? I know it’s a bit much.”

“It’s no problem,” Doyoung shrugged. He had started to bounce and sway a little for the baby in his arms. “What do you guys have going on today anyway? Going into the city, or something? Getting some alone time?”

Kun’s eyes shifted toward the kids, watching as Dejun was already trying to pull a toy out of his backpack. It was better than making eye contact with his friend when he was about to lie to his face.

“Nah, we just have some errands we’ve been meaning to run, and, you know, it gets a little stressful with all the kids around, so…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

But that seemed to be good enough for Doyoung, who only hummed.

“Well, I’ve got some fingerpaints set up, and a movie later if they're up for it. Plus, there’s lots of lunch and snacks and all. We should be fine for the afternoon, so just let me know when you guys will be done.” 

“Thanks, Do,” Kun smiled. “Anyway, I guess we should probably get go—”

“Oh, how’s Ten doing, by the way?” Doyoung interjected, head cocking to the side. “He’s been… kind of weird at the office lately - more so than usual. No offence or anything.”

“None taken,” Kun dismissed. It’s not the worst thing anyone’s ever called his husband. It’s not even the worst thing Doyoung’s ever said about his husband. “Yeah, no, he’s fine. Probably just… being Ten. You know how he is.”

“Right…” Doyoung nodded slowly, and Kun could see the hint of suspicion in his eyes. “But—”

The car horn blared twice, nearly causing Kun to jump out of his skin. He looked over his shoulder to see Ten, looking annoyed and exasperated at being kept waiting - just as he promised he would.

“I should go,” Kun said, feigning reluctance. He bent down, gathering his two boys and pressing a kiss to the crowns of their little heads. He pecked Renjun’s forehead last before jogging off down the steps. “Call us if you need anything, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem. See you later!”

Doyoung waved him off as Kun climbed back into the car. 

“You think he’ll be okay with all of them?” Ten asked, watching their boys pile into their friend’s home. “It’s four versus one…”

Unlike them, Doyoung was a single dad. He had been since his daughter was only a few months old - his former partner decided they were not suited to parenthood after all. 

“He’ll be fine,” Kun said. “It’s just one afternoon. It’s not like he hasn’t watched them before.”

“No, I know, but… Ugh, I just miss them already,” Ten pouted. “Can’t we stay home with them and just enjoy our Sunday together as a family?” 

While Kun worked part-time from home during the week, he had the luxury/stress of being with their kids all the time while his husband went into the office everyday. It’s not that Ten wanted to trade places with him, but he certainly liked to maximize quality time with the family whenever he could. 

But that wasn’t on the cards for today.

“You know we have to go to Seahorse Club,” Kun said firmly, putting the car into reverse and backing out of the driveway.

“But I have _you_ , so I shouldn’t have to go,” Ten countered. “You’ve already done this like, a billion times.”

“Every pregnancy is different.” Kun reached out for Ten’s hand once they started down the street, settling gently on top of it. “You know you’ll feel better after you go - just like last weekend.”

Ten pursed his lips but quietly relented, nodding as he laced their fingers together. He knew his husband was right, but that wasn’t going to stop him from complaining about it.

“Well, at least I get to see that Jungwoo kid and his easy peasy, perfect little pregnancy,” Ten huffed. “Jungwoo, with his well-rested face and his big, tall, buff fiancé… What are they both so goddamn sunny and bright for?”

“Ah, Tennie. Don’t they remind you of anyone?” Kun sighed, almost dreamily. “I know it’s been a while, but—”

Ten scoffed once he understood what his husband was alluding to.

“Oh, please. We were _not_ like them.” Ten shook his head fervently. “We weren’t nearly as bad as that… Were we?”

“We were,” Kun snickered. “It’s just what happens when you’re young and in love and bringing a little life into the world. We were only a few years older than they are now, you know…”

“I guess,” Ten conceded with a sigh. “Jesus, it seems so long ago now…”

Kun hummed, squeezed his husband’s hand. “And here we are, doing it again.”

\\\\\

“You good?”

“Yup,” Jaehyun breathed tightly as he hopped up from the asphalt onto the sidewalk. 

Johnny hummed behind him, trying to keep up with his pace.

“Really? Because you seem just a little tense…”

Jaehyun stopped in front of the door to the community center building and pivoted on his heels, stopping the elder abruptly in his tracks. 

“Okay, maybe I’m starting to get a little nervous,” he admitted, pushing an anxious hand through his hair. “I kind of just want to get in there and get this first impression over with so all these people can get their stupid judgments out of the way.”

Jung Jaehyun didn’t usually care what anyone thought about him. He was a man without shame. But he wasn’t just ‘Jung Jaehyun’ anymore - wasn’t just ‘a man.’ The little bub inside of him made him something new, something else. 

And that meant he was starting to care about how he was perceived now.

“No one’s going to judge you.”

Jaehyun snorted. Johnny was really sweet and all, but he seemed naive about this. 

“Oh, they absolutely will judge me,” Jaehyun fired back. “And you, too, you know.”

“Oh, gosh, Jae, you know what? You’re right.” The elder’s eyes suddenly widened, gulping roughly. “I can already hear it now - the whispers about ‘those two unwed fathers and their bastard baby!’ Oh no!”

Johnny gasped comedically and clutched at his non-existent pearls before bubbling over into laughter. Jaehyun, on the other hand, only rolled his eyes. But his pout did soften once Johnny nudged at his shoulder.

“Seriously, it’s going to be fine. I’m sure we’re not going to be the only people here in our kind of situation,” Johnny said. “And besides, if anyone did have anything to say, they can deal with _me_ about it.”

The elder lifted his chin and put his hands proudly on his hips before puffing up his chest. His t-shirt suddenly tugged extra tightly across his broad shoulders and Jaehyun had to admit, he had a pretty good Korean Superman impression going on.

Unfortunately, Jaehyun now knew all too well that, outside of the bedroom, Johnny was much more akin to a cuddly, warm teddy bear than any otherwise intimidating figure. But… it was kind of cute. 

“Right. Sure, Johnny,” Jaehyun chuckled, patting the elder on the shoulder before breezing past him to pull open the door.

The elder didn’t seem to mind. He was okay with making a fool out of himself if it eased Jaehyun’s nerves. And it certainly seemed to, the younger’s steps becoming more relaxed as they strolled down the hallway, following the signs in search of the room. 

They stopped in front of a wooden door, peeking through the window. It looked like a classroom for preschoolers, with plushy beanbag sacks, foam mats, and other seating arranged in a pretty free-form circular shape. There were already some people inside, milling about and helping themselves to the complimentary refreshments of muffins, doughnuts, and an assortment of herbal teas.

“Ready?”

Jaehyun nodded and gripped the handle, whipping open the door with probably a little too much force. It drew a couple of momentary glances before everyone returned to their own conversations.

“See? I told you we’d be fine,” Johnny mumbled, leaning down towards Jaehyun’s ear. He lifted his wrist to check his watch. “We still have a few minutes, so do you want to get a snack or something?”

That was a question Jaehyun never has and never will turn down. Even after a full breakfast, those glossy chocolate-frosted doughnuts were calling his name.

Nerves somewhat settled, they crossed through the room toward a little table that had been set up with snacks for the attendees. Jaehyun lifted a treat from the tray and immediately shoved half of it into his face. There were a few other couples huddled around, taking advantage and gathering as many sweets as they could before the instructor kicked things off.

“Honey, slow down. Won’t that upset your stomach?”

Jaehyun listened off-handedly to a couple behind him, 50% out of curiosity and 50% out of boredom. 

“I honestly don’t care,” the other, more nasally voice responded through a mouthful of something. “Do you even know that last time I had a jelly doughnut, Kun?”

Johnny perked up curiously at that, dropping a peppermint tea bag into his mug of hot water before peeking around Jaehyun’s shoulder. He gawked in surprise.

“Ten? Kun?” A wide smile spread across Johnny’s cheeks and Jaehyun swiveled around in time to see the pair’s bewildered expressions. “Oh my god, what a coincidence!”

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! 🤪🥰 please PLEASE leave me some kudos & kind comments if you enjoyed it !!! the more comments, the quicker i get the updates done!! 💗
> 
> [twt!](https://twitter.com/mad__honey) [cc!](https://curiouscat.me/mad__honey)


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